You Re So Old Jokes One Liners

When his first love is cruelly snatched away, HRH Prince Leonidas decides to put love and intimate relationships on the back burner. He succeeds for a while, until he meets Elisabeth, a striking young woman with a smart mouth and an attitude that warns him that she isn't a pushover. He is forced to ascend the throne he had previously rejected and due to the pressure to take a wife, he settles for Elisabeth but not without setting up rules. "Rule number one; don't fall in love with me". "Rule number two; no form of intimate touching is allowed." He hopes that their seemingly mutual dislike for each other would prevent lines from being crossed, but he's in for a surprise.

“I said where did he touch you?” Aaron walk towards with his dangerous aura as sniffs in anger scanning my body with his eyes like he was trying to find some hickeys and marks of touches on me. “You are mine, mine and nobody touches what belong to me. Bring that bastard in”Aaron said for me to start tearing up as I felt stupid for running away.

Missy moves to a small town in Northern California after walking in on her boyfriend in bed with someone else. The picturesque cottage she bought outright isn’t as picturesque as she was promised. She is forced to hire the only contractor in town to make it liveable, even though she can’t stand the man and his rude and crude remarks. Adrian Brewer is a single father, fighting for his parental rights for his daughter, and doesn’t need another woman to bring more drama into his life….but there is just something about Missy that makes him tease her like a little boy with a crush and has him wishing for more. When Adrian makes repairs to her new home, can he also help repair her heart? Can she repair his in return? When their past comes back to ruin what they started building together, will the foundation of their budding love be able to withstand the storm? Will Missy let it all burn down? If it does, can Adrian build it back up?

"I'm going to f**k you so hard that you won't remember a thing." He spoke in a commanding tone as he drew nearer to her lips. ****** This book consist of one shot stories that revolves around different characters like; Mafia, President, CEO, bully boy and their romance. Buckle up to read this crazy series. Part-1: Submitting to Mafia Part-2: Submitting to Professor Part-3: Submitting to CEO Part-4: Submitting to bully boy Part-5: Submitting to President

Fatima is beautiful but voluptuous! Not ordinary voluptuousness but like a whale in size. And in her obesity, she was often bullied. One of the bullies is Kier Williams! Whenever their paths crossed, he did nothing but insult, mock, and annoy her. It seems that her obesity is what makes him live happily. He went too far! Fatima was deeply hurt. Her character was so insulted. So when Kier flew to America, Fatima also started to lose weight. Fatima promised herself if Kier returned to the Philippines. He will see a different Fatima. Beautiful with a fabulous figure! She would show him her body that he had insulted before. When they meet again, she is positive that his saliva will drip on her charming beauty and sexiness. It's revenge time! But something else happened. They are put in the situation of arranged marriage. She does not want to marry her mortal enemy. Huh, she is not crazy to do that!

When sincere love ends up in betrayal, can love be found again unexpectedly? Anaya's world topples when she sees her fiance proposing to another woman. Shattered and devastated

On the day of my wedding with my girlfriend, I was unexpectedly informed by the hotel that our ceremony had to be postponed by a couple of hours. With no time to notify relatives and friends of the change, I had to rush to the hotel entrance to intercept guests. Upon arriving, I was stopped at the door by security, who told me that a wedding was currently taking place inside. The host's voice could be heard as I saw my girlfriend, wearing a veil, smiling and extending her hand to a man who was half-kneeling. In the audience, all the bride's relatives who were supposed to attend our wedding were seated, clapping and cheering. The man on stage was her dream guy and also my current superior. Seeing me causing a commotion, my girlfriend warned me, "I'm just helping out. Alex is your superior. I'm also doing this to help you. Don't cause any trouble." Just helping out? I had booked the wedding venue, chosen the time, designed the wedding dress, and personally sent out the invitations. How could a wedding be rearranged so suddenly? I looked coldly at the ring box the man was holding. "It seems my taste is quite similar to my yours. If that's the case, this diamond ring is yours, including the wife." My girlfriend finally panicked.

When my boyfriend invited me to the school rooftop to watch the fireworks, I went with excitement and anticipation. But what awaited me was a nightmare—a group of thugs ready to destroy me. They tore my clothes off, burned me with cigarettes, and used various objects to torture me. My boyfriend stood there, casually recording everything with his phone. He sneered, "Melanie, this is what you owe Sofia. You'll spend your entire life paying for what happened to her." It turned out he never truly loved me. The time we spent together was all part of his twisted plan for revenge, a plan crafted for his sister. Later, standing by the ocean, I called him. Through tears, I asked, "Will giving my life atone for what happened to your sister?"

Esther finally agrees to hang out with her friends after several "No" and "Next time" she decided to join at the bar and ends up getting laid with a woman named Amber, one-night stand leads to a relationship where pressure and conflicts arise and ruined everything as a couple but starts a good friendship which they will learn to see what they missed as Amber realized her feelings for Esther that is about to marry soon... Will she be able to admit it to her best friend/Ex-girlfriend Esther who begins to fall for her as well but keep her feelings hidden for the sake of friendship? A roller coaster ride of breakups, friendship and love the second time around that will satisfy your special kind of love story!

Sleeping with my best friend was something that shouldn’t have happened. We made a promise to each other when we were young, but it was long forgotten, at least by him, but not by me. I didn’t forget that he was my prince charming. He dated girls, which I didn’t mind because I was still underage. We slept in the same bed until this date, but we have never crossed the line. The problem started when his fiancée failed to appear for their wedding, and I had to play the role of his bride for the day just to save his face. That was the date everything changed. We had the steamiest night, and he told me it shouldn’t have happened because he was dating my best friend, Candice. That struck me dead in the gut. I should have known that our promises were long forgotten. He took my innocence and told me it shouldn’t have happened. That hurts, but nothing hurts more than learning you’re pregnant with your best friend’s child and you can’t tell him because he is in love with your friend. !Daily updates!