you re so old jokes one liners

In the year 2020, the world faced Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome Coronavirus 2, and took several years to slowly recover from its immense effect. Thirty years after, another virus rose and affected the world's population in just a few weeks. The health workers couldn't determine what exactly the virus is, its type, and the way it is being passed from person to person despite the advanced and improved technology. Because of this and the sudden virus outbreak, the World Health Organization assigned Richforte Medical Team for a research mission for the virus and find a cure for it as soon as possible. Would they be able to accomplish this mission if, in the next few hours, the world would have what they called Zombie Apocalypse?

WARNING: MATURE CONTENT Tisha Stewart, a twenty two year old virgin gets her life turned upside down in just one day. She loses her wealthy father to the cold hands of death, she learns that her fake friend who stole her boyfriend is her step-sister, and to top it all, she is forced to spend the night with an old sleazebag to pay off her late father's supposed debt. Spencer Grant is a handsome and sexy billionaire who avoids being in the spotlight. When a business rival attempts to set him up and spikes his drink, Spencer books a hotel room and orders an escort. In a twist of fate, Tisha ends up in Spencer's hotel room. She needs a place to hide and he needs a woman to pass the night. Spencer mistakes Tisha for the escort he ordered and they spend a passionate night. When he wakes up in the morning, Spencer finds Tisha gone. Not only is there no trace of her but the evidence of her innocence stares him right in the face. Now Spencer is determined to find this mysterious girl who has not only stolen his heart but whose face now haunts his dreams. THIS BOOK CAN BE READ AS A STANDALONE

Alkohol adalah racun, Kesucian Katya Cessa Martin, gadis remaja berusia tujuh belas tahun itupun terenggut saat dirinya mencoba menenggak minuman haram itu bersama teman laki-lakinya. Seketika malam itu berubah menjadi petaka dan meninggalkan trauma yang membekas pada diri Katya. Pergi, itulah yang ingin dilakukannya, Menjauh dari Pria yang sudah menorehkan luka dan aib padanya. Disaat yang sama Aeron, laki laki yang merenggut kesuciannya sedang mencari keberadaannya setengah mati. Lantas, bagaimana Katya melanjutkan hidupnya?

"Do you know who I am now?" "Yes" I breathed "You're the Alpha of the Crimson Claw pack" "That's the first half of who I am. What's the second half, Harvey?" "I....I don't know. I don't understand" "I'm not only the Alpha of the Crimson Claw pack, I'm your mate. Your MATE, Harvey" he hissed, putting emphasis on the word 'mate' "Do you understand what that means?" he continued "It means you belong to me. You're mine, Harvey. You'll obey me and do as I say. You'll stop fighting the mate bond and accept me" ********** In a world where witches, werewolves and other creatures exist; Harvey is blessed with the gift of being able to see glimpses of the future through dreams. She believes she has already identified her mate as Zach - the sweet and caring second son of the Alpha of her pack who also happens to be her boyfriend. So she is in for the shock of her life when the Alpha of the largest and most feared pack in the state turns up on her 18th birthday and makes her heart race in a way only one's mate can. Now Harvey has to accept the fact that she is not going to be just a regular girl mated to a Beta male but the Luna of the most formidable pack and the mate of the devilishly handsome and mysterious Alpha Greyson. Add to that the fact a vengeful rogue she-wolf with a personal vendetta against Alpha Greyson and anyone he cherishes is out for her head on a platter and will do whatever it takes to get it...... like putting together an abominable pack of rogue wolves. How would Harvey be able to handle becoming a Luna with the possibility of war looming?

She has a lot to learn about the world of shadow walkers, including the perils they face. It isn't until nineteen year old Alison Colby, inherits an old family estate house that she discovers the secret that her parents kept from her. Not only is she a shadow walker, but she is of royal lineage and is expected to assume the throne soon. Fortunately, Nick Jackson is willing to teach her all she needs to know, since he just so happens to be a shadow walker himself..and he is in love with her. Unfortunately, so is his competitive cousin, Martin... and when it comes to a contest of women, Martin always wins. SHADOW LOVE BOOK ONE BEGINS A GRIPPING, SEXY, AND EXCITING STORY THAT CONTINUES IN SHADOW LOVE BOOK TWO!

On the night my dad kicked me out, I drank too much and slept with my “brother” It was a one night mistake. Yet, he proposed and claimed me as his mate, his luna. When I woke up, my mom's body was cold. The color was drained from her half-opened eyes, and I could see no signs of life. My father told me that she purposely drank poison to kill herself. But that was a lie. My mother would never kill herself; she would never leave me. That night imprisoned me. - “It wasn’t a mistake,” “What are you talking about, Jonathan?” I asked him. “Arina, you are my mate. You were born to be my luna,” he said. His face showed no signs of humor. “I wasn’t born to be anybody’s luna,” I shot back. “Arina, I love you…” he spoke softly, still staring into my eyes. I could feel the wolf in me stirring; something that I had never felt before. She was awakening; the fire that burned so deep inside of me was beginning to flare. “Love?” I heard myself saying. “There’s no such thing as love…” After everything I knew about “love”, what my mother went through when she married my father, love didn’t exist. “Give me a chance to prove you wrong. Marry me.”

Believe it or not, we assume every love tale as cliche until and unless we dive into it. Both above figures had a kind of part to play here which is cannot even say as cliche. This is a story of my most favourite couple. Yeah, it's a love story, obviously! And their love chapters start on a very very boring note. Him flying back to India and her liking post on Instagram of her friends. Most important, based on their real life love series. ***Wiping tears behind the door hold a memory of precious loss in her childhood and a mysterious misunderstanding leads her to hate Avinash like anything. They haven't seen each other for years... But he wanted to meet her, talk to her. Finally, a day came and they meet which doesn't let them cross paths but instead get them together to ride on a bike of love trip. Meanwhile, both of them already had someone to fix with. If anyone thinks that after falling in love is no trouble then it's no way! Will she keep ignoring her feelings? Will he keep dragging the things? And never confess to her. Can they resist the spark they had in between them? The argue to kiss! ***This is a very twisted romantic love story that stirs hearts, that at times leaves you breathless and that manages to make us believe that, and love can do all things. Peek into Ashiyaan and Avinash's beautiful journey of finding love, hope, and magic in their own universe, which holds a passionate spark in between them.*** And Hey!! It was my first work obviously and I'm very much happy and excited to announce that this story is complete and edited. Shower your love on my book. Sure you are gonna love it.

Karmila dijebak sahabat karibnya. Dia dibuat mabuk dan akan dijual kesuciannya pada Big Boss. Karmila berhasil meloloskan diri lalu diselamatkan oleh Nadio, seorang eksekutif muda yang sukses di karir, tetapi gagal dalam percintaan. Sialnya, justru sang penolong yang merenggut kesucian Karmila saat tak sadarkan diri. Bagaimana nasib Karmila?

"Take my life but don't ruin my soul, please... I...I am a widow, " Tears streamed down from her eyes watching that sinister man hovering over her and she softly hissed, when he slightly pressed the tip of the knife against her chin. "I didn't take your husband's life in front of your own eyes so that I could let you go, " And her gaze got befuddled when she had found him to wipe the that knife against those tears in the corner of her eyes which made her fear to engulf her more vigorously because she thought he was going to pierce it into her skin because she had seen him taking uncountable number of lives with no remorse. She again shut her lashes and waited to feel the sharp pain of her skin penetration but in the very next second, she felt the knife to get apart from her skin and warm drops of liquid falling on her lips and her eyes got opened when that liquid proceeded inside her parted lips and her tongue felt that metallic taste and see saw his palm bleeding. She teared up like a child by watching his soul quivering smirk. "Leave me.. Lea..." Her words got stucked into her throat when she felt his palm to grab her jaw which made her stirred and then she looked into his flaming darken eyes with her redden watery ones and her body turned numb ,feeling his palm getting inside her panties whereas, her eyes never stopped shedding tears . "Why? " That question fell out from her mouth which was reeking over her whole existence that why . Why she was going to endure all of that and why she was fated to get ruined by him ? "BECAUSE I AM INSANE FOR YOU " *DARK ROMANCE*

Emma Lewis is a witty and confident girl who never fears anyone. She comes to the conclusion that she is done with guys when her boyfriend of three years, cheats on her. But what happens when she encounters Austin Williams, an attractive, intimidating, and cocky guy who always gets what he wants and never dates. Will she change her mind and give in to her desires or fight the undeniable attraction between them?