You Re So Old Jokes One Liners

My husband did not love me, and he certainly did not love our child. On the day our son was born, he did not even glance at him. He merely tossed him into my arms. Then, his first love came back from overseas. That night, the ever-cold Henry had gotten drunk for the first time. He even smiled as he held our child in his arms. Delighted, our son wrapped his little arms around my husband's neck and asked me in a soft voice, “Mommy, what’s wrong with Uncle?” I crouched down, pulling him into my embrace. My eyes reddened as I explained, “Uncle's favorite person came back, so we shouldn’t bother him anymore. We’re going to find a new home.”

~If Love is a drug, then I want to be high on you forever. If Love is a crime then I wanna be your victim but if Love is an Addiction then I wanna get insanely Addicted To You. . Brianna Anderson hasn't met anyone that caught her interest. Well, all that is about to change in the course of one sexy night.

"Mommy, Mommy! Look at that mister! Will I be as handsome as him when I grow up?" Liam's question forced me to look at where his finger pointed. "Holy f—" I cut myself off, trying not to curse in front of my son. Why, why, why did I have to run into Alexander Ravenford as soon as I walked out of the airport?! Among the millions of people living in New York, I surely didn't want to meet one—Liam's biological father. Five years ago, my scumbag of a boyfriend cheated on me, and I decided to go on a genuinely therapeutic weekend in the Bahamas. I wasn't looking for a rebound, but somehow I ended up spending a decent amount of time having sex with a man who was basically a stranger—a divinely hot, insanely mouthwatering, and ridiculously irresistible Alexander Ravenford. The morning after brought a disappointing hit in the gut, which assured me that for my Prince Charming, I was only a one-time adventure. But screw that, and screw him! I had plans. I was ready to pursue my dreams and study in London. But then fate decided to throw me another curved ball... I was pregnant, and Alex was the only possible father. I didn't give up. I came back as a successful interior designer and the mother of an amazing boy, Liam. I thought that I would be able to avoid Alexander, but it turned out to be almost impossible. But then it got worse… The arrogant, annoying, and even hotter than before CEO of a multibillion-dollar company became friends with my son—his son! And I have a feeling that the sweet little devil who calls me "Mommy" has a mischievous plan to bring his parents together. Should I give this insane relationship a chance?

Colleen Caddell is broke, jobless, and at the verge of being thrown out of her house. Desperate as she was, she conned her way into a program run by the infamous Andre Lourdes. But when she becomes the number one suspect in the murder case of his mother, Colleen has to explain to Andre, and the whole world, what she was doing in the room minutes after Camilla Lourdes was shot dead.

How does one woman please two men? Lizzie has to answer when Jordan suddenly springs Jackson on her. His life long best friend.Jackson is a dark, brooding man. When they meet, the sparks fly and burn so hot and unexpectedly that Lizzie is shocked. Jordan was a lot for Lizzie to learn how to handle. But, when she discovers she is supposed to try and take both of them on. She was terrified and overwhelmed,Lizzie flees to a quiet cabin in the woods, where she thinks she is safe enough to come to terms with her new situation. But Jack and Jordan follow her there, unwilling to let her run away. They force her to confront her problems and the terrible secrets she was harboring. Unfortunately, their problems decided to follow them as well. Can the three of them ever get past the troubles they must face? Especially when it's Lizzie's own life on the line?*ADULTS ONLY* *EXPLICIT SCENES* *BDSM* You Are Ours is created by Leann Lane, an eGlobal Creative Publishing Signed Author

I came home with roses and a surprise, our biggest business deal yet. It was our anniversary. I was ready to celebrate ten years of loyalty, love, and everything we built together. Instead, I walked in on my husband in bed with my cousin. They didn’t look shocked. They didn’t even look sorry. That was the night everything broke. I vanished without a word. Filed for divorce in silence. I left the company untouched because I wanted to see just how far they’d go. Turns out, they went all the way. Roman and Alessia twisted the story. Branded me unstable. Unfit. They took interviews. Staged events. Rebranded the company I built like I never existed. Some believed them. Others didn’t. But I stayed quiet. Because while they stole everything in the spotlight, I was working in the shadows. I became Juliana Cross. And I’m not coming back to ask for anything. I’m coming back to take it all. He chose my cousin. I’m choosing revenge.

Do you believe in vampires? What if I tell you that they are not just a myths? What if a vampire fall in love with a human? What will happen if the world is against them?

After spending a night with a strange man on the night before her wedding, Arianna left the city to start her life afresh. The 22 year Arianna Jason lived her life pleasing those she loved the most, without knowing she was simply a prey that was being nurtured against the day of her ruin. She had tasted the bitter pill of betrayal. She wants to give back to the World and the society what it gave her. But how can she change her sweet, innocent personality to fit into a cruel world and society? Can her sweet nature be contaminated or will she make it through, paddling on the right path?

Umaasa si Pauleen na kahit isang beses lang. Makakasalamuha siya ng isang kalahi ni Adan after being tore down by her bastard college boyfriend na ipinalit siya sa babaeng Donsol sa Architectural Department. Humahanga na siya sa mga Blue Warrior pero mas lalong nadagdagan ang paghanga niya sa FVC members. Kaya nang makilala niya si Beverly Hernandez-ang babaeng nagdala sa kanya sa naturang lugar. Tuluyang nakamit ang isang pangarap niya sa buhay. Doon niya nakilala ang antipatiko at hambog na si Bruce Bergman. Naglaho ang fascination niya dito lalo na ng palagi siya nitong binabara dahilan kung bakit tumubo ang iritasyon niya sa binatilyo. Ano kaya ang mangyayari kapag itong dalawa ang palaging nasasangkot sa walang humpay na bangayan?

Samantha is a beautiful young lady with lots of dreams. She was from an average family that’s why she study really hard to become successful. Charles is a businessman who manages the largest bus company at a very young age. They first met in the bus station owned by Charles. After getting to know each other, they became lovers. One year has passed when Charles decided to propose to Sam. Unfortunately, Sam ran away after he proposed. Sam was only 21 years old at that time. She was not ready yet. After that incident, Charles left the country. They met again after three years and got back together. However, Charles has a new lover who will do anything just to separate them. Will their love conquer everything?