You Re So Old Jokes One Liners

My life has been one of cruelty and tyranny. I didn't know that this girl would change the course of my life and turn it upside down. I swore not to love...but she did the impossible and fell into her net and loved her.. She crossed my path and aimed her beauty at my heart, so I surrendered and loved her. For your sake, I gave up the whole world and broke the barriers of my fears and pride to have you...

Bata pa lamang si Joanne Mercado ay tiyak na niyang ang kababata niyang si Andrew ang nais niyang makasama sa habang buhay, ngunit,  isang gabi ay nagawa niyang ibigay ang pagkabirhen sa lalaking kinamumuhian niya mula pa sa kanyang pagkabata, si Lorenzo Villarama, ang kanyang step brother. 

Emerald Manalo. Mas kilala siya sa pangalang Era. Isang babaeng ang puso ay laging bigo sa pag-ibig. Maganda naman siya. Iyon nga lang, mas gusto niya ang laging nasusunod. Because her boyfriends always wanted to take advantage of her. Iyon ang isa sa dahilan ng mga breakup niya. Subalit, isang gabi, nagkayayaan sila ng kaniyang mga kaibigan na sumugod sa isang bar; hindi para mag-unwind, kundi para sugurin ang boyfriend ng isa sa mga kaibigan niya na may kinakalantaring ibang babae. Pero naiba ang kwento, nang mula sa kung saan ay may humila sa kaniya at protektahan sa gulong nagaganap. At ang masama pa, kinabukasan, nagising na lang siyang may katabing lalaki sa kama!

After my husband's first love, Sydney Edwards, used me as a walking blood bank, I died in the run-down rental apartment my billionaire husband, Casper Hawthorne, had tossed me into like it was a blessing for me. Today was the third day since I had died. My six-year-old son, Adam, finally realized something was wrong. He had cut his finger while playing with his toys, yet I did not comfort him. He tore open a packet of crackers and raised one to my mouth to feed me, but I did not stop him. He lay in my arms, clutching my clothes and whispering for me. Still, I did not answer. Lost and panicking, he found my phone and called his father, Casper. "Dad, why is Mom still sleeping?" The man sent back a photo of himself having New Year's Eve dinner with Sydney and said in a cold voice, "She's just sleeping, she's not dead. Today is New Year's Eve. I'm busy. Tell that clueless mom of yours that when she's ready to admit she was wrong, she can come and look for me." After the call ended, Adam stood there frozen for a long time. He picked up the last biscuit in the rental apartment from the trash can, broke it in half, and held one piece to my mouth. "Mom, let's eat too."

At 4:30 in the morning, my husband answered a call from his ex-girlfriend and accidentally put it on speaker. "Jason, my daughter, Alison, has a fever—over 104. I can't get a ride..." The sudden sound of sobbing jolted me awake. Jason hurriedly turned off the speaker and lowered his voice. "Send me your location. I'll come right away." It seemed he had forgotten that today was my first prenatal checkup.

Blurb: One Night Stand “Kau sungguh bajingan, Victor!” Desis Mary, menatap pria bernama Victor itu dengan mata yang dipenuhi air mata. “Kau memperkosaku! Kau merenggut sesuatu yang bukan milikmu, keparat! Aku benci padamu!” Bibirnya bergetar saat melontarkan kalimat tersebut, sementara tangannya erat menahan selimut untuk menutupi tubuhnya yang polos, tanpa sehelai benang pun. *** Mary Popiens adalah seorang bartender di sebuah klub malam ternama di kota London. Malam itu, klub dipenuhi pengunjung, membuat para pelayan tampak sibuk. Dalam keadaan tersebut, Mary diminta tolong oleh sang manajer untuk mengantarkan minuman ke kamar VVIP. Di sanalah kehancuran hidup Mary dimulai. Alih-alih mengantar minuman lalu keluar, Mary justru terjebak bersama pria yang merupakan tangan kanan Bos Mafia di dalam kamar tersebut, yang tengah mabuk. Mary dipaksa sedemikian rupa, sehingga keduanya terjerumus dalam momen panas. Langkahnya yang lemah berayun pergi, diiringi isak tangis yang pilu. Baginya, perbuatan bejat Victor Marson semalaman adalah hal paling buruk dan memilukan yang pernah dialaminya sepanjang hidup. *** Kini, Victor, pria yang merupakan tangan kanan Bos Mafia itu, tak akan pernah melepaskan Mary, meskipun dia tahu Mary telah memiliki seorang kekasih—yang tak lain adalah keponakan dari Tuannya. Terlepas dari konsekuensi, Victor bersikeras untuk membawa Mary pergi, memisahkannya dari sang kekasih, tanpa peduli betapa Mary membencinya. Setelah disekap dan tinggal bersama Victor, akankah Mary menyerah untuk melupakan sang kekasih dan beralih mencintai Victor? Atau mungkin… dia akan berusaha pergi untuk selamanya, meninggalkan semuanya di belakang? ***

After Stephanie decided to choose to be Stephanie Clark, instead of Rei Miller, she moved on from Lucas Miller and built a happy family with Martin Clark, leaving Luke heartbroken. Cleo Stewart came to Luke’s life and when Luke was ready to build a new family with Cleo, Luke got one chance to be with Stephanie again. Which one Luke will choose? What happened to Martin and Stephanie relations? Jealousy, revenge, lies are testing Luke’s love story……..

Controlled and beaten by her husband, Millie walker, a kind and caring person, saw no way out. She was trapped.That was, until her best friend Megan provided her with the perfect opportunity. It was one that she just couldn't turn down.With Megan's help, Millie left her home and the small town she grew up in for a new life. One without pain, one without control and one without him. Millie was enjoying her newfound freedom, however everything suddenly changed one fateful night. She had found herself involved in a world far more precarious than the one she had left behind.It was full of danger, werewolves and magic. A supernatural world which was only found in childhood tales and stories, had become her reality. Torn between fearing the unknown and embracing the need of her heart, she must contend with a handsome Alpha, his twisted Luna, death, deceit and betrayal.

Si Secretary Sollaire ang isa sa pinaka kilalang One-Year Contract Secretary sa industriya ng mga sekretarya kung saan siya nago-offer ng kakaibang service sa kanyang mga employer. Nang hindi inaasahang mapasali sa isang programang ginawa para sa mga bilyonaryo, will she take up the challenge of being a forever secretary to one Vernon Ronan?

Jaz was found in the middle of nowhere beaten and scarred all over her body her new family heals her and trains her to be the best of the best to protect herself from what’s out there out there the only bad part is she doesn’t know from what though. Will she get her memories back? Will she know the secrets from her pasted and what will her mate do when she meets her mate? Read more to unfold the life of Jaz and her silver necklace….