Your Momma So Dumb Jokes Novels & Stories

“Pray tell, Emily, what is it you plan to gain from this marriage?” The vehemence of that word—the way it rolled out harshly from his lips—implied she had tricked him, that she had wanted something from him. A belief Emily hadn’t known he held. Her eyes widened in realization, and she sought to correct it at once. Good Lord, was she married to a man who despised her? *** When the earl of Tonfield, Cole Fletcher decided to drop his newly wedded wife at the steps of Blakewood Manor with as much respect as would be given a sack of potatoes, the last thing he expected was for her to move into his ancestral home and do the one thing he rather her not do. As if that wasn't enough, news of his wife's exploits was beginning to circulate around the ton, while Cole wants to keep an eye on his wife and put her firmly in her place. Emily wants her husband to understand she exists. As a wife, as a countess, as a woman! It's a clash of wills!

The Luna of the Silver Moon Pack is personally chosen by the Alpha. By tradition, candidates enter the Pack House for the annual Luna Trials, where the Alpha selects a winning dish. This was my ninth time participating. Alpha Fred chose Sophia’s undercooked venison again. The Elders glanced at my roast and told me to leave. I grabbed my bag and walked out. When I got home, my mother looked at me cautiously. "Chloe, did Alpha Fred choose you this time?" I stared at her teary eyes and the cold dinner. I had missed her birthday for nine consecutive years for these trials. Fred had sworn he loved me, an Omega. But ever since his ex, Sophia, returned, he chose her every time to protect her pride. Sophia had now been selected three times in a row. To the Pack, she was already the true Luna. And I no longer wanted to betray my mother for this unrequited love.

My husband is a rock climbing route setter. It's our wedding anniversary today, but he brings his female best friend with him on an adventure to discover uncharted territory. It comes about because his female best friend says life is so boring. We're trapped in the mountains when we encounter extreme weather, and the rescue helicopter can only take two people with them. They climb up the ladder deftly, leaving me to slowly grow colder in the rain. I shout his name with all my strength. "I have a heart condition! I'll die if I don't get to the hospital soon!" He throws a rope down at me without even sparing me a glance. "Luna has menstrual cramps—she never says she's in pain. You, on the other hand, are only good at acting. Think of a way to get down yourself." What he doesn't know is that his "good friend" has already sliced the rope he threw to me.

Eighteen and desperate due to my mother's illness, I enter the orbit of Enzo Lombardi, a powerful, feared mafia boss. He treats me with impossible sweetness, and I find myself sinking into his possessive love and lavish spoiling. Everything changes the day a woman named Isabella Gallo shows up. She claims she's the one Enzo truly loves, and she laughs as she slides a two-million-dollar check across the table, demanding that I leave him. I turn down the money. She then suggests we both send him a message at the same time and see who he cares about more. Holding on to one last bit of hope, I text Enzo that I'm in a car accident. Isabella, on the other hand, tells him her plane is about to land. I wait for his reply, but nothing comes. Instead, I watch as Isabella picks up his call. At that moment, I understood it was time for me to go.

“Dad, I agree to move to Haven State for the arranged marriage. Let’s do it quickly before I change my mind.” Her father, Joe Stone, replied instantly. “Good girl, I’ll have it sorted within a month at most!” Just an hour ago, Tara Stone had been in the backseat of a luxury car, her soft sighs slipping out as Leo Carter kissed her. His phone rang, and he answered in Genovian, his tone impatient. “Calling at a time like this?” The voice on the other end chuckled. “What’s up? Busy with something important? How much does she resemble Nina Lucas?” Leo absentmindedly stroked Tara’s delicate face. “About seventy percent similar. If you don’t get to the point, I’m hanging up.” “Wait, don’t! Nina’s flight lands tomorrow. She’s returning to revive her career back home. I thought I’d give you a heads-up. Nice of me, right? Your first love, your ‘one true love,’ is back. Think you’ll finally ditch the stand-in? What if she won't leave you?” Leo replied coldly, “There’s no problem money can’t solve.” Tara, her head lowered against the seat, felt her tears streaming uncontrollably. Leo had no idea she understood Genovian. Three years of heartfelt devotion, and to him, she was nothing more than a dog.

My sister, Gabriella Rutherfurd, is the richest female CEO in Brightshire. Her male secretary, Freddie Morgan, mentions that he wants to see a real-life version of the Squid Game, so she builds the venue and spends 100 million dollars to make it happen. The lure of a gigantic cash prize draws in countless desperate souls. Even the bodyguards responsible for protecting my brother-in-law, Cyril Harding, abandon their posts to participate. Cyril has no choice but to go to the hospital without the bodyguards for his medical appointment, but he is abducted halfway there. In my previous life, I found Gabriella and asked her to stop the game and send people to rescue Cyril. After hesitating, Gabriella agreed. She stopped the game and managed to save Cyril just in time. But the few players who had made it to the final round were furious that the game was canceled. To vent their rage, they took Freddie and beat him to death. Gabriella acted like it had nothing to do with me. Yet, on the day Freddie was buried, she ordered her men to beat me up. When I open my eyes again, I am back to the day that Cyril was abducted. This time, Gabriella gets what she wants, and the Squid Game is held as planned. By the final round, a masked man is dragged onto the high platform. Freddie announces that whoever slices the man's head off will win the 100-million-dollar prize. When Cyril's head rolls to Gabriella's feet, she finally snaps.

The wedding night that was supposed to be beautiful turned into a night full of trauma. Isla Montgomery was rejected by her beloved mate simply because her body was deemed "not good enough." Isla had given up on life, ready to end it all, when a man appeared: none other than Caleb Donovan, the renowned Alpha and rival of her ex-mate, who came to claim her as his own.

Cerise is a daughter of a famous businessman, moved to the city to pursue her dreams and follow her father's footsteps. What she doesn't expect however is becoming a supernatural Queen and getting involved with two men who want two different things. The world changes and now everything is in her hands.

"I'm taking care of you." When thrill-seeker, 18 year old Hope exchanges her parachute bag with little Aiden, nobody expects it to be a life-changing moment. The worst happens when she skydives 15000 feet and the parachute doesn't open.Now in hospital, she's left with only broken dreams until Aiden's older brother and a young tutor, Dylan, vows to take care of her because he adamantly believes that everything is his fault. But is it, really? What Hope least expects is to– somewhere along the way – fall for this man.Caught between her feelings of love and Dylan who seems to be hiding a huge dark secret, Hope doesn't know who to listen to: her beating heart or her warning mind?

My son had a high fever that would not break, so I called my wife. She said I was using our son to make her jealous. Then she turned around and took her first love's son to the hospital over a scraped finger. I looked at my son's pale face and asked, "Do you want a different mom?" My son nodded. Twice. "Mom doesn't like me, so I don't want to like her anymore." Later, I really did give him a different mom, but my wife refused to accept it.