Zombie Funny Quotes

On Christmas Eve, my uncle, Adam Stewart, took a sip of the expensive wine I bought and pointed at me, laughing. "A child’s nature really shows early. When she was little, she wet the bed. Now that she's all grown up, she's working as a content creator in her parents' store. "She can't compare to my daughter, Erin Stewart, who has a secure job with guaranteed income. Because you're running a small business, your family will starve if you were to come across the smallest hurdle!" All the relatives at the dining table laughed. Erin pretended to play with her phone, but she was grinning. My parents just smiled politely, at a loss for what to do. I looked icily at Uncle Adam. There were still six hours before the ice apocalypse arrived and the global zombie crisis broke out. In my previous life, Uncle Adam, who always looked down on us, pushed my entire family into the zombie horde to seize my parents' supermarket. This time, I would not let him get away with it. I had just grabbed the plate, ready to smash it over Uncle Adam's head, when a crisp notification rang in my mind. "Ding! Rage Points System has been bound. The host can obtain resources by retaliating. The more shameless you are, the stronger you become!" Looking at Uncle Adam's smug face, I laughed. "Yeah, I don't know anything, but I just recalled something. Uncle Adam, you were arrested by the anti-prostitution squad when you went to Los Anglos on a business trip eight years ago, weren't you? Does Aunt Leanne know about this?"

A book lover, an innocent teenager, and an incoming college student named Bliss Dy welcomes the new chapter of her life as her father got promoted in his job. Upon meeting his dad's boss, the CEO of the company, fate seems to enjoy bumping them into each other unexpectedly. Can a funny coincidence turn into something romantic and magical? Is falling for her dad's boss will make her life blissful?

Mathematically put; 2blahdity - 6bluffity + 5whoopsie - 8oopsdaisy + Nerdiness.The Variable Life of Sam: where N(Nerdiness) is a constant.Has it crossed your mind to wonder how the first-all-Nigerian-schools excursion would be?Wonder no more as Sam takes us "out on dinner" with his "out of this world" narrative, weaving up his "breathtaking" adventures, with students from different schools. Hilarious moments, invented imaginations, teenage crush, life as a nerd, "The Battle of Wits: War Against Bullies"...Join this adventurous train on the railway of humour as Sam, the locomotive driver of the train takes us yonder.....

Natasha Hale only want to do one thing. Drink and forget the world after going through a rough break up halfway through the world Somehow she end up meeting the mysterious James Campbell

Bima is just an introverted, scrawny kid used to living behind a gaming screen and being a constant target for body shaming. But his life takes a drastic turn when he wakes up in a ruined city crawling with zombies. In the midst of the chaos, something even stranger than the apocalypse emerges: the "Single Survival System," which hits him with absurd missions likes maintaining an ideal BMI, getting revenge on his bullies, and landing his first kiss. Every mission isn't just a ridiculous challenge; it’s a matter of life and death. Forced out of his comfort zone, Bima must face his dark past. He crosses paths with Donny, his former bully who is now a zombie, and Kevin, an ex-gym influencer who has transformed into a fanatical cult leader obsessed with the perfect physique and extreme protein intake. Amidst the chaos, Bima meets Lia, a tough convenience store clerk who harbors a deep-seated trauma toward food. Together, they survive nonsensical threats, ranging from zombie food vloggers obsessed with livestreaming death to grotesque mutants lurking underground. But the madness is only the beginning. Bima’s reckless actions catch the attention of a far more dangerous entity: the Master AI Fitness Freak, an artificial intelligence that views humans as inefficient unless they meet extreme nutritional standards. With the help of Riska, an AI with cold, business-like logic that shares a secret connection to Bima’s past, the battle shifts into a clash of ideologies: perfection versus happiness. In a world that worships muscles, protein, and ruthless efficiency, Bima fights back in an unexpected way, using Indomie as a symbol of balance, hope, and humanity.

During a zombie-extermination mission, I end up getting infected with the zombie virus for the sake of protecting my squad. But Emilia Campbell, the team captain as well as my girlfriend, decides to give the only antidote to another team member, who has secretly run away from the squad, only to get infected. Her excuse is that she should avoid being partial. With red-rimmed eyes, she promises me, "Trust me, Zack. I'll definitely find another antidote for you during the three-day incubation period of the virus." I can only nod in response while enduring the scorching pain flaring from my body. On the second day, Emilia actually returns with an antidote. But the second she's about to inject it into my bloodstream, Dustin Nott, a member who has never left the campsite, suddenly frowns. "My head hurts so much, Em… What if I'm already infected with the virus?" Emilia doesn't hesitate to pass the antidote to Dustin in front of everyone else. "Dustin is a part of the team as well. It's my fault as the captain for not taking care of the squad if anything happens to him. "Zack, you're the vice leader as well as my boyfriend. I must be impartial." That's when I notice the smugness crossing Dustin's eyes as well as Emilia's righteous expression. Fury bubbles within me at that moment. She must be impartial, huh? Fine. Emilia will soon understand that the squad would never have survived to this point without me. After all, I'm a perfect evolved specimen—a human being that only has a 0.1% chance of overcoming the zombie virus and evolving into a powerhouse in this apocalypse.

Victor and I were nothing more than a pair of sworn enemies married inside the camp. He hated me for handing over my frail sister to the research institute, all so they could extract the antiviral serum from her blood. And I hated him for never seeing anyone but her, even in the apocalypse, when she could barely lift a metal rod. For the ten years of the apocalypse, the words we said to each other most often were, "Die a miserable death." … However, when the zombie horde finally broke through the last line of defense, he chained me to the modified mech truck and went out alone to face it. "Live…" I watched as the tide of corpses swallowed him whole, the crack of breaking bones mixing with the sound of flesh being torn apart. On the edge of death, he pulled out my sister's faded photo and placed it over the one clean spot on his chest. "This life is yours. But if there's a next one, don't go near her again." … That night, when I returned, I blew up the camp. When I opened my eyes again, I went to the zombie king. His razor-sharp claws closed around my throat, and I smiled as I took hold of his hand. "Let's make a deal. Give humans five more years, and I'll willingly be your queen." Last time, he gave his life to save me. This time, I'll be the monster—so they can all get what they want.

Kiami Lynn, remembers dying in a zombie horde after surviving 8 years of an apocalypse. Remembering how she spent her first life helping family who never truly cared, abandoning the few who genuinely loved her. Her final thoughts are filled with regret and betrayal as she succumbs to the horde, reflecting on how her misplaced loyalty led to her demise. But death is not the end, Kiami awakens ten days before the outbreak in her own past, alive, whole, and confused. She is greeted by the Ultimate Power System, a mysterious interface that grants her a Sanctuary — a space to train, store items, grow food, and prepare for survival. Within the Sanctuary, she is guided by Echo, a cryptic, riddle-speaking spirit who teaches her to cultivate new powers, master her skills, and make strategic choices. Reborn, Kiami is no longer the quiet, people-pleasing girl she once was. She is outspoken, calculating, and insightful, using the knowledge of her past life to anticipate the coming apocalypse. Over the course of ten days, she trains relentlessly, honing her reflexes, combat skills, and strategic thinking. Haunted by visions of her past mistakes, she learns the true cost of misplaced loyalty and the importance of foresight, strategy, and decisive action. Every decision carries risk, but every earned skill and reward brings her closer to becoming a survivor capable of not just enduring the apocalypse — but turning the tide of the human vs. zombie war. As the outbreak draws nearer, Kiami begins to manipulate the real world, testing her powers, setting traps, and preparing to rewrite her fate. With Echo’s riddles guiding her and the Ultimate Power System enhancing her body, mind, and strategy, she is determined that this time, nothing will stop her — no betrayal, no undead horde, no past mistakes.

A comedy of errors, that offers second chances for first love in this BDSM Mafia, Reverse Harem Romance. In that moment of embarrassment, fear and dread, I do the unthinkable…….. I jump into the black clad stranger's arms, and kiss him with all the drama of a soap opera. Yes, I meant it to be for show to avoid my stalker, but .....Let’s just say it’s not all fake when I practically swoon like the well-to-do British lady I’m impersonating. “Renfield tricked me,” I pant, pointing my shaking finger at the obnoxious blonde man, literally crying, this is all so hysterical to him. “Dracula's spell is too powerful. I can't fight it, go! Go find Van Helsing!" How did this happen? Nicky! That’s right, this is all my orphan brother, Roman Nikolai Cross’ fault! Ever since that tweedle twap jerk named me after the bad luck stray cat outside our orphanage, there is no end to the comedy of errors that is my life. I was hoping to avoid the so tragic it’s funny or so funny it’s tragic stigma with my second chance on life, but no such luck with his latest shenanigans.

Alex Redwood your typical Alpha. Strong, impossibly attractive, and funny, yet stern when needed. And Grayson, she's... Well, the exact same. Except for the fact that she wants nothing to do with him, yet he'll do anything for her. Love can be such a strange thing... Will she let go of her hatred for him and allow herself to accept him and love him? Read to find out!