Not Him

“No. No. No—this isn’t happening.”

I walked fast. Too fast. The pine needles blurred under my feet, the scent of moss and packland stinging my nose like poison. My lungs heaved, my vision tunneled, and my body burned from the inside out.

Mate.

Mate?

I nearly shifted from the sheer force of panic crawling under my skin.

My mate bond was supposed to be a blessing.

Not a punishment.

Not him.

“Ayla wait!” Cade’s voice called behind me but I kept walking.

“Don’t follow me you badtard!!”

I really shouldn’t be cursing out my Alpha but Cade wasn’t my Alpha and I’d be damned if I accept him as my mate too.

My skin crawled just thinking about it.

I found the edge of the burial clearing and collapsed against a tree, pressing my forehead to the bark. The cold bite of the wind did nothing to numb the chaos in my chest.

The pull between us still vibrated under my skin and I could feel him.

I hated it but I could feel him - his presence there with me like a thread tied tight between our souls.

A thread I’d given anything to rip out.

I didn’t go to the burial.

Not right away.

I couldn’t face Mae’s body while my blood screamed Cade’s name.

So I waited.

Until the lanterns dimmed. Until the howls faded. Until only the trees were left to whisper over her grave.

I walked to the fresh mound of dirt with numb legs and a hollow heart.

A single white lily rested on top.

Mae’s favorite.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, crouching beside it. “I should’ve come back sooner. You deserved more than this.”

My throat burned. My vision blurred. I brushed the damp leaves off the marker.

“You were the only one who ever made me feel… seen. Safe.” My voice cracked. “And now you’re gone. And he—he’s my mate, Mae.”

I pressed my hand to the soil. “Tell me this isn’t fate. Tell me it’s a mistake.”

But the dead don’t answer.

I didn’t need her to speak - because I knew just what I had to do.

~~~~~

I found Cade later.

He was sitting on the porch of the elder’s lodge, arms resting on his knees, staring at nothing like it was the only thing keeping him upright.

He looked up when I approached.

I didn’t stop walking. I didn’t let him speak.

“You need to reject me.”

His brow furrowed. “Ayla—”

“Now,” I snapped. “Before it settles in. Before it gets stronger.”

He stood. “You know it doesn’t work like that.”

“You owe me this.”

He flinched.

Good.

“You tormented me. You made me feel worthless. I left my entire life behind to escape you.”

“I know.”

“Then do it. Say the words. Break the bond. Let me go.”

“I can’t.”

I laughed, but the sound was a sharp and bitter one, “You can. You just won’t.”

He stepped forward. “I didn’t know. Back then. I didn’t know you’d be—”

“Mine?” I spat. “Is that the part that terrifies you or excites you?”

He stopped moving.

“I was a scared, lonely girl, and you treated me like garbage. And now you want what? A do-over?”

“I want a chance to be better,” he said quietly. “To deserve the bond. You think I haven’t paid for what I did? Every damn day I’ve regretted it. You were right to leave. I was an arrogant asshole. I know that.”

“You don’t get to rewrite history because fate decided to throw us together.”

“No,” he said, his voice tight, “but I get to fight for what I should’ve protected.”

I turned away.

“I’m not forgiving you,” I said. “You don’t get to walk back into my life and expect grace just because the universe played a cruel joke.”

“I don’t expect anything.”

“Good. Because count my words Cade—I will never forget what you did to me. Not in a day, not in a decade. So if you have any sense left in you, break this bond. Because every second it stays, every hour it breathes between us, I’ll remember the pain. The humiliation. The hell you put me through. And I’ll hate you for it. More and more. I won’t forget, Cade. And I swear—I’ll make sure you don’t either.”

Cade’s face twisted and he opened his mouth to say something - but before he could speak something hummed between us, unavoidable. Trying to pull us together like an invisible chain and suddenly my anger was gone. The hatred was gone - replaced by the ache to throw myself at him and have him wrap those arms around me.

To breathe in his husky scent.

“Do you feel it too?” Cade gasped out.

He must be feeling the urge like I was and also fighting it with every strength he has like I was too.

I shuddered “Yes.”

“And you still want me to reject you?”

“Yes.”

He nodded slowly. “It’ll hurt. For both of us.”

“I’ve survived worse.”

“Do you even want to know what it means?”

“No.”

“Ayla.”

“What?”

“If I reject you… I lose the chance to ever find another mate.”

I blinked. “Good.”

He exhaled a laugh that didn’t hold any amusement. “You really hate me that much.”

“Yes,” I said.

But it didn’t sound as convincing as it should have.

“I can’t do it yet,” he said finally. “Not until I’ve earned the right to. Or proven that I’m not the same person you left behind.”

I stood. “You don’t get to decide when to let me go.”

And that’s when a voice cut through the air behind me.

“Ayla?”

I froze.

I knew that voice.

I turned slowly and my heart skipped when I saw Daniel standing at the base of the stairs, rain dripping from his jacket, his hair flattened to his forehead.

His chest heaved like he’d run all the way from the edge of the forest.

“What—what are you doing here?” I breathed. Better question would be how the hell did he get here?

“I followed you.” His eyes flicked between me and Cade, sharp with confusion. “I… I realized I was an idiot to walk away. I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“Daniel—”

“I’m not giving up,” he said. “I don’t care what world you come from. I love you, Ayla. I still want us.”

My heart punched against my ribs.

Cade stood beside me now, shoulders tight, jaw locked.

“Who the hell are you?” He growled and Daniel shifted his gaze to him.

“I’m Daniel. Ayla’s fiancé. Who are YOU?”

Cade slowly looked at me, his gaze darkening before he bared his teeth at Daniel, “Fiancé my ass!”