The Weight Of The Bond

Naya’s POV

I didn’t know how long we sat there after I and Dorian watched Alpha Kade walk away from both of us.

Time felt strange around Dorian. It was not safe exactly, I wasn’t stupid, but it was easier. Like my lungs didn’t have to work as hard. Like I didn’t have to be made of knives every second.

He kept talking nonsense about how half the warriors below were showing off and the other half were pretending not to show off. I pretended not to listen, but I was listening.

“See that one?” he said, nodding down at a bulky wolf with terrible footwork. “He thinks flexing his shoulders makes his stance better.”

“It doesn’t?” I asked dryly.

“It makes him look like a confused wardrobe.”

I snorted. “You’re a terrible Beta.”

“I’m an excellent Beta. I simply delegate seriousness to others.”

“You mean you avoid it.” I said, staring at him and trying not to laugh.

“Same thing.”

I shook my head, but my mouth betrayed me again with the ghost of a smile.

Then the mate bond pulsed again, like someone was standing behind me without touching me.

My spine straightened instantly.

Dorian noticed. Of course he did. His eyes flicked to my face, then past me, then back again.

“He just came to check on you again... You know he does that a lot,” he said quietly.

I didn’t turn. I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction... either of them... of reacting.

“Is he still there?” I asked.

“nope,” Dorian said. “he left after staring at your back for a good three seconds”

Good.

My chest still felt tight though, like something had been pulled and released too fast.

“Does he always stalk balconies dramatically?” I asked.

“Only when he's been emotionally compromised,” Dorian said. “So… lately, yes.”

I rolled my eyes. “He should try minding his business.”

“That's tough, because thinks you are his business.”

I didn’t answer that because the stupid, annoying, unwanted truth was the bond reacted when he was near. My body knew. My wolf knew. Even when I refused to acknowledge it.

I hated that.

We stayed a there a little longer. Until I started to feel weird. I get getting dizzy spells, my eyes swaying and dizzying. My muscles started to feel heavy, not tired exactly, just drained. Like the inside of me had been scraped hollow and forgotten.

“You’re swaying,” Dorian said.

“I’m not.”

“You are.”

“I’m breathing.”

“Badly.”

I pushed off the railing trying to stabilize myself, but the ground tilted slightly.

Ugh... I really did not want to look weak and broken around any of them including Dorian.

"Naya..." I heard Dorian call my name but it sounded far away.

“I’m fine,” I said.

“the most famous last words of stubborn people,” he replied.

“I survived a massacre and a dungeon. I think I can survive a balcony.”

“Confidence noted, princess... Now lean on me.”

I refused, and took three steps forward...On the fourth, my vision blurred.

It wasn’t like fainting... I’d fainted before. This was different. It felt like the bond suddenly turned into a wire pulled too tight between my ribs.

My wolf whimpered.

I was not afraid... Dammit, i was in pain. I was in so much pain.

I grabbed the stone pillar beside me, but my grip slipped.

“Hey,” Dorian’s voice sharpened. “Easy.”

“I said I’m...”

The world lurched sideways.

Strong arms caught me before I hit the ground.

From the scent of the strong chest i was leaning on, I knew it was not Dorian. That wasn't his scent. Only one person smelt like smoke, steel and wild air before a storm.

Kade.

My eyes snapped open immediately.

“I had it,” I snapped automatically, even though I was very clearly being held upright by his strength.

“No, you didn’t,” he said evenly.

His hands were firm on my arms, not bruising, or possessive but just steady. Like he was anchoring something that might fall apart.

“I was fine.”

“You were falling.”

“Same fucking thing!"

Dorian made a soft sound behind us. “For the record, it was not the same thing. I just thought to point it out”

I glared at both of them.

“Did you two coordinate this?” I asked. “Is this some Alpha-Beta dramatic saving the damsel routine?”

Kade ignored the joke. His eyes were on my face, sharp and assessing me like I was a wounded puppy.

“You’re pale,” he said.

“Tragic,” I answered. “Write a fucking poem.”

“The bond spiked... You were in danger just now,” he said quietly.

I froze.

I hated when he said things like that. Like he could see inside me. Like my emotions were public property.

“I’m not discussing the bond with you.”

“You don’t have to. I can feel it.”

“Good for you.”

His jaw tightened, like he did not know what to do with me. He wasn't angry... more… contained.

“Sit,” he said.

“That sounded like an order.”

“It was.”

“No.”

My knees almost buckled again.

This damned traitor body.

His grip shifted, faster this time, one arm bracing behind my back as he guided me to the stone bench like I weighed nothing.

I wanted to fight it.

I also didn’t want to fall on my face, so I sat.

“This is unnecessary,” I muttered.

“Everything involving you is currently necessary,” he said.

Dorian leaned on the opposite pillar, watching with open interest and zero fear for his life. “I’m enjoying how neither of you can admit when you’re not okay.” Dorian said with a sly smile on his face.

“We’re not the same,” I said.

“Correct,” he said. “He’s worse.” he said, pointing his thumb at Alpha Kade.

Kade didn’t even look at him. That was how I knew he was focused.

“What did you eat?” Kade asked me.

I blinked, trying to remember when last I had willingly eaten.