Chapter 6

DINNER felt like an eternity. Hindi ko alam kung bakit, pero ang bawat sandali na kasama ko si Damon ay parang puno ng pagka-awkward. I felt like an outsider in my own life. Seryoso, paano ako magiging asawa ng isang tao na hindi ko maintindihan?

Habang kumakain, hindi siya nagsasalita. Hindi ko siya tinanong kung gusto pa niyang makipag-usap, dahil alam ko na madalas niyang pinipili na maging tahimik. But the silence was loud. The weight of it was crushing.

And I hated it. Parang I was supposed to be someone I wasn't, trying to please him in ways that felt foreign and uncomfortable.

Pagkatapos ng dinner, we went to the living room. Tumabi siya sa sofa, ang mata niya naka-focus sa cellphone niya. Ako, hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin. Maghahanap ba ako ng libro? Magpapa-sleep na lang ba ako? Pero I felt this urge na magsalita, kahit hindi ko alam kung anong sasabihin ko.

"You know," I began, my voice low. "I really don't understand why you need me to do all this."

Damon didn't look up, his fingers still moving across his phone screen. "What part don't you understand?" he asked, his tone still indifferent.

Everything. Lahat. I wanted to scream that out, but instead, I just shook my head. "It just doesn't make sense," I muttered, mostly to myself. "I didn't even sign up for this."

I expected him to snap, to throw a tantrum, but instead, he sighed and placed his phone down on the table. He looked at me for the first time that night, his gaze softening just a little, though I could still feel that icy distance between us.

"It was part of the deal," he said simply. "We both have roles to play, Leah. You agreed to this marriage."

"Yeah, I did," I answered, my voice growing quiet. "But it's not like you made it easy. You barely talk to me. We don't even communicate."

"You want me to apologize?" His voice was cold again, almost challenging.

I didn't respond immediately. Instead, I stared at him, really looked at him. His sharp jawline, the faint line of frustration between his brows, the way his lips pressed into a thin line. I wanted to ask him, "Are you capable of being more than just... this?"

But I couldn't. I wasn't sure I could handle his response.

"I don't need an apology," I said finally. "I just need you to talk to me. Be a little more human, Damon. I can't keep pretending I understand what's going on if you won't give me anything."

I saw his jaw tighten slightly, but then he relaxed. He leaned back on the sofa, his arms crossing over his chest. "You think this is easy for me, Leah?"

I blinked in surprise. "I didn't say that. But you make it feel like everything's on me. Like I have to figure everything out by myself."

"You're not alone in this," he said quietly. "But this is how it has to be. There are responsibilities that come with this marriage. And if you want to be a part of it, you'll have to learn quickly."

I shook my head. "I didn't even know I was supposed to be a part of it. I'm just... your wife in name. I'm just here to bear your child. Is that really all?"

His expression faltered for just a second, and it made my heart race. Was I wrong? Was there more to this than I was seeing?

I couldn't tell. I didn't know what was real anymore, especially when it came to him.

"You're here because I need you," Damon said, the words measured but heavy with intent. "And whether you understand it or not, that means you have a place in this. Whether you want it or not."

And then, just like that, he was done. He stood up and walked toward the stairs. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang nararamdaman ko-kung galit, o pagkalito, o takot. He was so closed off, but then why was he saying these things to me?

I felt the air around me grow heavy. Hindi ko alam kung paano haharapin ang susunod na araw, pero alam ko, mas lalalim pa ang mga tanong ko tungkol sa mga bagay na hindi ko maintindihan.

Sa bawat araw na lumilipas, natututo akong tanggapin na hindi ko kailanman makikilala si Damon nang buo. But as much as it hurt to admit that, I had no choice. This was the life I had chosen, and it was too late to go back.

I looked at the stairs, wondering what would happen next. Could I survive in this marriage, or was I just fooling myself?