HATE HIM, TILL I NEED HIM

Aiden’s POV.

I never liked quiet rooms. They always made me feel like something bad had happened.

That afternoon, when I came back from the school meeting, the room was too quiet. Usually, Peter would be there with his headphones on, singing terribly while typing something on his laptop. But this time, I only heard the sound of tape being ripped off a box.

I stopped at the door, confused.

“Peter?”

He turned around quickly. He looked guilty — the kind of guilty that made my stomach twist. “Oh—hey, Aiden. You’re back early.”

There were boxes all over the room. His side of the room was almost empty.

“What’s going on?” I asked, trying to laugh. “You… moving out or something?”

He smiled nervously. “Yeah, actually… I am.”

I froze. For a moment, I thought he was joking. Peter and I had been roommates for almost three years. We did everything together — shared meals, late-night movies, exam stress. He was the one person I felt close to here.

“Wait, what do you mean you’re moving out?” I asked quietly.

He rubbed the back of his neck. “I found a new place off campus. With my boyfriend.”

My heart dropped. Boyfriend? I blinked, pretending to smile. “Oh. Wow. That’s… new.”

He sighed. “I wanted to tell you sooner, but I didn’t know how you’d take it. You know, given the kind of life you live.”

“The kind of life I live?” I repeated. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

He looked at me carefully. “You come from a very strict family, Aiden. I didn’t think you were into… boy love. I thought it would make things awkward if I told you.”

I laughed weakly, though my chest hurt. “Peter, we’ve been roommates for three years. You could’ve told me anything. You didn’t have to hide.”

“I know,” he said, looking down. “But I didn’t want to lose your friendship.”

“You’re not losing it,” I said quickly. “We’re still best friends, right?”

He smiled at that, relieved. “Of course.”

But inside, I wasn’t smiling. Inside, I was breaking.

Peter went back to packing while I stood there like a ghost. I watched him fold his shirts and seal another box. He looked happy moving away like I was a problem he wanted to leave.

“So,” I finally asked, “what’s he like?”

Peter glanced up. “His name’s Daniel. He’s funny, smart… kind of serious sometimes. You’ll like him.”

“Will I?” I muttered before I could stop myself.

He laughed. “Yeah. Actually, I was going to invite you to a party tonight. You could meet him there.”

A party. Great. Watching Peter with someone else was exactly what I needed.

Still, I nodded. “Sure. I’ll come.”

He looked surprised. “Really?”

And yeah, he should be shocked. I have never attended a party — even his parties. Except the ones that only involved the two of us…if you count that as a party.

“Yeah. Why not? I want to see the guy who stole my roommate,” I said, forcing a grin.

He laughed again, throwing a shirt at me. “You’re unbelievable.”

I caught it, smiling weakly. “Yeah. I get that a lot.”

After a while, the silence returned. I sat on my bed and stared at the wall while Peter kept packing. The air between us felt different now.

It made me think of home.

My family was the kind that looked perfect from the outside — rich, strict, proud. My father was a businessman who believed emotions were weakness. My step mother — well, we didn't really get along but she played a huge role in my upbringing. She was my father's secretary and became my father's mistress after my mother died. Few years later, my Father brought her home with a swollen belly and half a million dollars diamond ring. Talk about manners and decency.

Well, that was how that mother and son relationship was force on me. She wasn't as bad as bad and strict as my father but she believed reputation was everything.

Both parents shouting and breathing on my head made me become the quiet son who did everything right. Perfect grades, perfect manners, perfect lie.

They didn’t know I liked boys. They couldn’t.

My father used to say, “A man must live properly, Aiden. No strange habits. No shame to the family name.” I had learned early that “strange habits” meant people like Peter. People like… me.

When Peter finally taped the last box, he stood up and looked around. “I’m going to miss this place,” he said softly.

I smiled. “You should. You’re leaving the best roommate ever.”

He laughed and came closer. “I’ll still come around, you know.”

“Sure,” I said, even though I didn’t believe it. Once people leave, they don’t really come back.

He gave me a small hug. His arms were warm, and for a moment, I wished he’d stay. But he didn’t.

“I’ll text you the party address,” he said as he grabbed his bag. “Don’t forget, okay?”

“I won’t.”

He paused at the door, smiling. “Thanks for understanding, Aiden.”

“C'mon,” I laughed but it came out awkwardly. “You are my best friend. It's not like I have a big crush on you.”

That made him laugh hard. “That will be so crazy.”

Yeah, it will. But I was. For three years… you just didn't notice.

“So? I guess, I'll see you around campus,’’ I forced a smile.

He nodded and patted my shoulder. “See you around, buddy. And thanks for always being there for me when I needed you.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Always.”

The door closed behind him.

For a while, I didn’t move. I just sat there, staring at the empty side of the room. The air felt colder now.

He’s gone, I thought. Just like that.

My phone buzzed — a message from Peter.

“Party starts at 9. Don’t be late!”

I stared at it for a long time, then typed back. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

I wasn't going to celebrate. And definitely not to meet Daniel — at least not the meet everyone expects.

I was going because part of me wanted to ruin their relationship. Peter was the first one to make me know I liked boys more. I had a crush on him for three years. I was there for him for three whole years. And some random stranger wanted to snatch him away from me. I wanted him back and I wanted him to know how I felt…but somehow that was the part of me I hated most.