LOGINSejak masa puber, aku tahu bahwa tubuhku berbeda dari orang lain. Aku adalah primadona kampus yang memiliki citra murni. Akan tetapi, tidak seorang pun tahu bahwa aku mengidap penyakit aneh dan hasratku terhadap hal itu makin tumbuh dari hari ke hari. Tubuhku terus-menerus menunjukkan hasratku, sampai sahabatku melihat tubuhku yang penuh nafsu dan membawaku ke tempat misterius ....
View MoreThe morning of her sister’s wedding, Nora worked quietly for her sisters day.
She pressed the silk carefully, the steam rising in soft clouds around her fingers, and told herself that the tightness in her chest was just the heat. Outside the window, their compound was already alive — caterers arranging tables, relatives she barely recognized spilling through the gate, music threading through the humid air like a promise. Everyone was here for Claire. Everything was always for Claire. Nora set the iron down and held the dress up to the light. It was beautiful. Of course it was beautiful. Her mother had spent three months choosing it, flying in a tailor who had taken Claire’s measurements four separate times just to be certain. The beading alone had cost more than what Nora’s school fees had ever amounted to. She hung it carefully on the wardrobe hook and smoothed a wrinkle from the hem with her thumb, and then she stepped back and looked at it the way she always looked at things that were not meant for her. From a respectful distance. Claire was in the dressing room with three friends and their mother when Nora brought in the dress. The room smelled of perfume and powder and the particular kind of excitement that only comes when a woman is about to become someone’s wife. Claire sat at the mirror in her slip, her hair pinned and ready, her face half-done, and she was laughing at something one of her friends had said. She laughed the way she did everything — fully, without apology, taking up all the air in the room. Their mother, Mrs. Bennett, stood behind the stylist directing each movement of the brush like a general overseeing a campaign. “The corners,” she said. “Blend the corners properly. Her face must be perfect.” Nora slipped in quietly and hung the dress on the hook near the door. She turned to leave. “Nora.” Her mother’s voice stopped her without warmth. “Make sure the caterers have set the correct tables outside. The Harlow family sits on the right. Not the left. The right.” “Yes, Mom.” Claire caught her eye in the mirror and smiled — not unkindly, just briefly, the way you smile at someone you’ve grown used to overlooking. Nora smiled back and left the room. No one asked how she was doing. No one ever did. The rumors started just before ten o’clock. Nora heard them the way she always heard things — from the edges, standing near a group of aunts who had forgotten she was there. She was refilling a tray of drinks near the back of the compound when the words floated over to her, sharp and certain the way only whispered gossip can be. “They say he cannot walk properly. That he limps.” “I heard worse. I heard he has nothing. No job, no money. The family name is all he has and even that has a stain on it.” “A stain how?” A pause, loaded and deliberate. “His mother was never married to the father. You understand what I am saying.” Nora’s hands stilled on the tray. She looked across the compound to where the groom’s family was seated — a small group of people who had arrived quietly, dressed well but not lavishly, speaking little. The groom himself she had only seen once, briefly, at the engagement party three months ago. He had sat still and straight in his chair and said exactly what was required of him and nothing more. She had thought him cold then. Reserved. She had not thought much else. She thought more now. The chaos began an hour before the ceremony was supposed to start. Nora was in the kitchen when she heard her mother’s voice rise above everything else — above the music, the chat, the loud noise of preparation — and something in the pitch of it made her set down what she was holding and walk toward the sound without being called. She found her mother in the narrow corridor between the dressing room and the parlor, phone pressed to her ear, face carved into an expression Nora had never seen on her before. Fear. Mrs. Bennett was afraid. She ended the call and stood very still for a moment, and then she saw Nora in the corridor and her expression shifted into something harder and more familiar. “Go and get dressed,” she said. Nora blinked. “I am dressed, Mom.” “Not like that.” Her mother’s eyes moved over her quickly, assessing. “Go and put on something proper. Something formal. And do your face.” “What is happening?” Her mother looked at her for a long moment — really looked at her, which was unusual enough to be unsettling — and then she said, very quietly, “Claire is not getting married today.” The corridor seemed to narrow. “What?” “You heard me.” Mrs. Bennett straightened and lifted her chin. “Go and get ready. We will talk.” She walked past Nora without another word, and Nora stood in the corridor alone, the noise of the wedding pouring in from every direction, and felt the first cold finger of dread trace itself down the back of her neck. She found Claire in the dressing room, and Claire was not crying. That was the first thing that struck her — the absence of tears. The friends were gone. The stylist was gone. Claire sat at the mirror in her finished makeup and her pinned hair and her beautiful dress, and she sat perfectly still, and she was not crying. “Claire.” Nora stepped inside and closed the door. “What is going on?” Her sister met her eyes in the mirror. Something passed across Claire’s face — guilt, relief, something else Nora couldn’t name — and then it was gone, smoothed away the way foundation smooths over uneven skin. “It’s better this way,” Claire said. “What is better? Claire, there are two hundred people outside —” “Nora.” Claire turned to face her fully for the first time. “I cannot marry him.” “Why?” They were silent between them, thin and breakable. “Because I don’t want to.” It was the simplest, most devastating answer. Not because of the rumors. Not because of the limp or the money or the whispered illegitimacy. Simply because Claire had decided, at the last possible moment, in the way that beautiful women who have never been told no sometimes decide things — that she did not want to. And somewhere in the compound, their mother was already making other arrangements.Dia terdiam cukup lama sebelum menjawab, “Maaf. Habis aku kabur dari rumah itu dan menemukannya, dia sudah meninggal. Dia merasa bersalah karena sudah bawa kamu kemari.”Kabar mengenai Celia yang sudah meninggal terasa bagaikan sambaran petir bagiku. Sebelum datang ke tempat ini, kami pernah diam-diam membahas tentang perjalanan kali ini. Dia bahkan sempat berkhayal tentang mendapatkan pengalaman yang lebih seru di sini. Alhasil, dia malah meninggal.Menurut pacar sahabatku, Celia menyinggung seorang bos, lalu dihajar habis-habisan dan dibuang ke tempat pembuangan sampah di pulau ini. Sementara itu, dia kabur saat sekelompok pengawas sedang mengganti shift secara malas-malasan.Sekarang, aku tidak punya waktu untuk bersedih. Tadi, kami berlari sekuat tenaga ke tempat ini. Yang bisa kudengar hanya desiran angin dan suara detak jantungku sendiri.Berhubung orang-orang itu tidak berhenti mencari kami, kami hanya bisa lanjut bersembunyi. Begitu mereka menangkap kami, bisa dibayangkan apa y
Aku sangat membenci tubuhku sekarang. Kenapa aku mengidap penyakit aneh ini? Dalam situasi seperti ini, aku malah masih bisa terangsang. Tubuhku ini benar-benar sudah rusak.Aku mendengar sorakan orang-orang. Mereka bersorak untuk tubuh ini, sedangkan aku merasa sangat tersiksa.“Lelang dimulai sekarang.”Serangkaian penawaran harga, suara palu diketuk, dan sorakan orang sekali demi sekali menentukan nasib terakhir yang harus kuterima.Aku didandani dengan cantik, lalu dikirim ke sebuah tempat khusus. Di tempat ini, hanya ada satu tempat tidur dan sisanya adalah dinding. Hanya saat dipindahkan, aku baru bisa merasakan kelembapan dari pantai.Aku tidak tahu bagaimana keadaan sahabatku sekarang. Aku mendengar seorang wanita berteriak di kejauhan, juga tidak bisa tidur pada malam pertama di sini. Aku tidak berani tidur karena tidak ingin diam-diam diseret pergi lagi dalam tidurku.Sekarang, nasibku bisa dikatakan sudah ditentukan dan aku tidak bisa melarikan diri lagi. Akan tetapi, aku in
Di sini, terdapat deretan kerangka kayu yang biasanya digunakan untuk menginterogasi tahanan pada zaman dahulu. Ketika melihatnya, aku awalnya merasa mereka mempersiapkan semuanya dengan matang kali ini. Setelah melihat ada banyak gadis cantik diikat di kerangka kayu tersebut, aku akhirnya menyadari bahwa ada sesuatu yang salah. Celia menatapku dengan tidak berdaya sambil meneteskan air mata.Pikiranku juga menjadi agak kacau. Permainan yang menyenangkan tiba-tiba menjadi seperti ini. Sekarang, di pulau kecil yang dikelilingi oleh lautan ini, kami bagaikan mangsa yang siap disembelih kapan saja.Aku juga diikat di kerangka kayu tersebut. Tubuh kami ditempel dengan nomor. Aku juga melihat beberapa gadis yang terlihat familier di sini. Kami pernah bertemu pada hari itu.Tali rami yang kasar menggesek kulitku yang halus. Meskipun aku sangat panik, tubuh dengan penyakit aneh ini malah terangsang.Aku berada di dekat pantai dan melihat seseorang mengeluarkan teropong. Pria yang sangat bany
Ketika suara itu berhenti, sebuah pintu muncul di hadapanku. Ketika melangkah masuk, aku mendapati pemandu itu berdiri di sana.“Sidangnya sudah selesai, biarkanlah aku mengantarmu pergi untuk yang terakhir kalinya!”Tubuh bagian atas pemandu yang telanjang itu memiliki otot-otot yang kuat dan garis-garis yang indah. Dia menggendongku dan dengan lembut meletakkanku di kursi pijat di sampingnya. Kemudian, dia memberiku relaksasi terakhir yang menenangkan.Telapak tangan pemandu itu sangat halus dan tidak ada kapalan. Ketika memijat punggungku, tangannya yang besar dan hangat terasa sangat nyaman. Tiba-tiba, tangannya menekan satu bagian tubuhku yang lembut. Perasaan aneh dan kuat segera menjalar ke seluruh tubuhku. Tubuhku bahkan langsung terasa lemas.Tubuhku menjadi makin rakus karena pengalaman beberapa hari terakhir. Begitu tangannya menyentuhku dengan ringan, aku langsung meleleh.Ujung-ujung jarinya menekan bagian lembut itu dan bergerak dengan cepat. Kenikmatan yang kuat langsung






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