Chapter 1: Distant

I saw how the sun sank already on the horizon from the front window of our home. In our fancy living room I sat on the couch with my feet dangling over the armrest, a glass of wine in my hand and a book propped up against my legs to keep me company. I loved the view from this spot because it was such a lovely one that took my mind off all the shit that had been going down lately.

I felt the weight of my feelings more when my gaze landed on Lucas. His eyes were fixed on the laptop in front of him. His fingers were flying across the keys with a speed with his brows furrowed in concentration. His hair was tousled messily from where he'd run his hand through it repeatedly, until I thought of speaking.

"Lucas," I almost whispered his name.

"I have an idea... Can we go out of town next weekend? You know, get some time away,"

"So that we can bond again. Just to at least get some fresh air? Away from stressful work." I saw how his hands stopped typing on the laptop, still he didn't look at me.

"I can't Dianna, can't you see how busy I am? I don't have time to rest or to go at any lengths to escape work, so there's really no reason for us to go anywhere,"

"If you really want, you can go alone to the place you want." My heart ached because this time I failed to get even a moment of his time so that I could at least be with him where we were not only thinking about work problems. Even so, as I always do, I just hid it with a simple smile.

"It's the same excuse you've told me the last time I asked you to spend time with me. Lucas, we also need time for each other, maybe life shouldn't revolve around our jobs let's," I said calmly. His eyes narrowed, the right hand that had been tapping on the laptop was now resting on the papers at his side.

"Can't you see this paper works, Dianna? I can't waste any time. Be mature enough. We are married, we are not teenagers anymore!" The last sentence yelled in frustration as he threw the papers back on his desk.

"A-Alright! Chill, honey... I won't force you if you're really busy. All I want is for you not to tire yourself too much by working." I put down the book I was holding and then stood up to walk towards him.

"I'm sorry, okay?" I started to massage his shoulder, but it wasn't working very well. He kept shrugging me off as if I was some kind of parasite.

The pain in my chest increased with the pressure on my lungs as a wave of anxiety washed over me like an ocean.

"I'm fine, Dianna. I just hope that you understand how much I love my work. I'm just going to rest for a while." He stood up from his seat, after closing his laptop. And I was left there watching him climb the stairs until he entered his room and closed the door.

Lucas and I have been married for three years, we've had a happy marriage, but I've noticed that for the past few weeks something seems to be different about him.

He used to be a loving and caring man who always makes me smile. He is that man who can hardly take his eyes off of me, that's why my mother-in-law always tempted him not to come home to them, and that temptation was also one of the reasons for speeding up our marriage.

That's the Lucas I've known and loved since we were in high school. But in the past few weeks he seems to be quickly becoming irritable with me, I feel that he is moving away. That's why even if I want to be happy in our life, I can't do it because I'm confused.

I don't understand some changes in his behavior. When dinner came, I immediately went up to the second floor of our house to tell him that we were about to eat. He immediately opened the door for me.

"Honey, dinner is ready. Let's eat together."

"I'll just get dressed, I'll just follow." I smiled, after he closed his bedroom door again, and waited for him in my kitchen.

We had a quiet meal, every minute I couldn't help but look up at him, until I couldn't stop asking.

"Lucas, do we have a problem? I mean, it's been a while since I noticed something about you."

"You seemed distant, honey. It's like you are getting colder to me as the days go by." He sipped on the tea that I had brewed for him, his eyes never leaving mine now, but it's different from before.

They used to be so warm and full of life but now they're so dull. So empty, just like the room itself that was once filled with the love and happiness he once shared with me.

"It's just because of my work, Dianna. There's some projects I'm working on right now and the deadline is approaching quickly so I need to get them done." He gently caressed the surface of my hand, and after smiling sparingly at me he went back to eating.

I understand how much he loves his work. He's indeed a hardworking man, one of the things that I admire about him. I respect it, I really do. And I appreciate that he makes these efforts for our future.

"I understand you, honey. The job we have is just as important to us, but..."

"I-I just miss the old days, the old us." I noticed that he took a deep breath before looking up at me again.

"I also miss those moments, Dianna. I've just been really busy these past few weeks."

"Besides, I'm doing everything I can to speed up my work, so I can pay attention to you." I nodded, somehow it was as if I felt the Lucas that I loved before, even for the moment we just talked for a while.

Although he has a reason why he is lacking time for me, I still can't help but wonder if the job is really the reason for all of this.

I want to know the truth behind his grumpiness, why he seems so distant. I just feel that there's something mysterious about his mood swings recently. I don't want to make him upset by asking questions out loud. That's why it might be better if I just quietly find out everything by myself.