Of All The Forbidden
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Why is it so good to do forbidden things? For Aviona Serafina Ros who wants everything taboo. The answer is already in the question. Why is it good to do the forbidden? It's simple, it's so fucking good. Lazarus is so fucking good.
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Of All The Forbidden Wakas
"We can finally take a vacation!" Trevor said cheerfully. "Freedom!" he added.We lined up together to pick up our phones. It's the beginning of our semester break. Tatlong buwan din iyon. Ngayon nalang din kami makakalabas ng seminaryo."Let's bet. I'm sure when we come back here, Trevor already have a girlfriend." Finn joked. We all laughed."Sure, Finn. How much?" Sabat ko pa."Mga gago kayo!" Trevor laughed. I don't know if he's annoyed or what because of the tone of his voice. "Sige, mga magkano ipupusta niyo?"Aba'y loko-loko talaga ito! Mas lalo kaming natawa. Kami ang nasa dulo ng pila. Kahit na nag-aasaran ay sinisigurado naman naming hindi kami maririnig ni Fr. Revelos."Ten thousand!""Ang baba naman masyado, Finn. Gawin mo ng fifteen!""Twenty! Sarado na!" sabat ko pa. Para matigil nalang sila.Alam ko lang naman din na magkakaroon 'yan si Trevor at mapapasakin pa rin ang pera. Hindi kaya 'yan mapirmi. Parang hayok na hayop sa gubat kapag nakakakita ng bagong bibiktimahin.
Of All The Forbidden Kabanata 40
Trigger warning: suicide, depressionHalos maglupasay ako sa narinig. I was stunned for a few minutes. Hindi malaman kung ano ang unang emosyong mararamdaman. Parang gumuho ang mundo ko. Nanginig ang buong katawan ko sa gulat. Hanggang sa emosyonal akong niyakap ni Lazarus, doon na bumuhos na para bang walang kontrol ang luha sa mga mata ko. "W-What happened?! Tell me you're just kidding, Lazarus!" garalgal na ang boses kong sabi. Streams of tears flowed faster than my heartbeat. "I'm sorry for your loss, baby. I won't say it's okay because it's never okay to lose a loved one ... but be strong. I'm just here." Malamlam ang mga mata niyang sabi. Mas lalo akong napahagulgol. Doon ko nakumpirmang hindi nga ito nagbibiro. Itong ganitong mga mata niya ang nakikita ko kapag nagsasabi siya ng totoo- kapag sinasabi niyang mahal niya ako."Hindi pwede! Hindi ito totoo! Panaginip lang ang mga ito!" humahagulgol kong sabi. "H-hindi sila pwedeng mamatay! Hindi ko pa sila nakakausap!" Habang
Of All The Forbidden Kabanata 39
One thing I know for sure, it's hard...It's hard to forgive someone who hurt us.It's hard to forgive someone we put on a pedestal and they knocked themselves off of it. It's hard to forgive the closest people in our life when they hurt us or abandon us or neglect us or tell us things we can't forget.It's hard to forgive those we sacrificed a lot for.It's hard to look at someone who caused us so much pain and still love them with all our heart or treat them with the same respect but sometimes we have to forgive those people and remember that they're also human.That we have had our days when we erred too and hurt people we loved because we were still healing our own issues, we were still growing and learning how to love again, we were still evolving and we got many things wrong.I think sometimes we get caught up in the wrongs that people inflict on us. We get hurt and we get bitter. Understandably so, but instead of letting that pain dissipate, we keep it close to our hearts. We
Of All The Forbidden Kabanata 38
"A-Aviona?" hindi makapaniwala niyang sabi.Gulat na gulat ang mukha ni Paulino nang makita ako. Napaatras siya, nanginginig at namumutla na ang mukha, habang patuloy sa pagbuhos ang butil ng pawis."Aviona, ikaw ba talaga 'yan?" pilit inaabot ni Paulino ang kamay niya sa akin, nanginginig pa rin."Patawad!" nagulat ako nang lumuhod siya sa harapan ko bigla. Hindi ako makapagsalita. Gulat rin sa bilis ng pangyayari at sa mga sinasabi niya. Anong nangyayari? Bakit siya humihingi ng tawad sa akin? Ako nga ang dapat humingi ng tawad dahil nahulog ko ang cellphone niya."Patawarin mo ako! Hindi ko iyon sinasadya!" nakayuko na ito at nagtaas-baba ang balikat. Kunot ang noo kong napatingin lang sa kanya."Napag-utusan lang ako, Aviona! Patawad! Patawarin mo ako!" sabi niya habang nakaluhod pa rin, umiiyak."Anong pinagsasabi mo?!" sa wakas ay nasabi ko na rin. "'Yung nangyari sainyo limang taon na ang nakalipas... Planado iyon ng tatay mo! Tinakot niya akong tatanggalan ng scholarship ku
Of All The Forbidden Kabanata 37
"Uhm, so..." Mr. Del Madrid started after the long silence.No one dared to speak. Their gazed were all plastered to Alu who's sitting beside me; wondering, like a puzzle that needs to assemble.Lazarus was still holding my hand. Kanina ko pa kinakagat ang pang-ibabang labi ko dahil hindi ako kumportable sa presensya nila."Care to explain everything, Lazarus?" his father finally asked. Tahimik namang nakaupo sa tabi niya ang nanay ni Lazarus na taimtim na nakamasid sa anak ko. Grabe ang tensyon, tunog ng kalabog ng puso ko lang ang naririnig ko.Tumikhim si Lazarus at umayos ng upo. "Surprise? Lolo at lola na kayo!" Lazarus let out a warm hearty laugh. It echoed in the corners of the room. No one dared to laugh or say something though. Mas ramdam pa rin ang tensyon ngayon."Gago. Paano?" Aquilino finally asked after the long minutes of silence.Hindi ito mapakali. Hanggang sa lumingon ito sa akin at tinuro ako. "Akala namin patay ka na, Aviona!""She isn't, obviously, that's why sh
Of All The Forbidden Kabanata 36
I woke up early to cook breakfast. The two were still asleep when I left. When I finished cooking, I covered it for a while so that I could take a bath already.As the towel hung over the side of my shoulder, I returned to the room to get my working clothes. Nang papalapit na ako sa banyo ay dinaanan ko muna ang dalawang mahimbing pa rin ang tulog hanggang ngayon.Nakatalukbong ito ng kumot habang magkayakap at naghihilik pa. Alas singko na sa umaga, may trabaho kami Lazarus at medyo malayo pa ang ibabyahe namin."Lazarus," I lightly shook his body."Hmm?" He stretched his body a bit and then slightly squeezed the side of his eyes. He's still struggling to concentrate in my direction because of drowsiness."Bangon na, may pasok pa tayo sa trabaho." but instead of getting up, he lay on the bed and embraced his sleeping son by his side."Lazarus," niyugyog ko ulit ang balikat niya pero hilik lang ang sagot sa akin.Napakamot ako ng ulo. Medyo inis na. Napagod itong dalawang ito maglaro
Of All The Forbidden Kabanata 35
"What do you do for a living, Papa?" tanong ni Alu.Nakakandong ito sa kanya ngayon habang nagmamaneho. Napairap ako. Hindi pa rin magkamayaw ang inis kay Lazarus."I advise individuals on legal issues and disputes, and then I represent them in court and legal transactions." he said in his tone casual and light. Alu's mouth turned to 'o'. He's looking at his father with so much amusement and adoration."You are practicing law, Papa?" he asked still amuzed.He nodded. "Yes, son. I'm a lawyer.""Oh, my. My father is a lawyer! Is that your dream, Papa?"Bahagya niyang ipinilig ang kanyang ulo at ngumuso. Ang mga mata ay nasa unahan pa rin at ang kamay ay abala sa manibela. Nakaangat naman ang tingin ng anak namin sa kanya. Parang may sariling mundo ang dalawa. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pa ako sa kanila sumama."To be honest... no."Of course he will answer no to that. Bahagya tuloy akong napaisip. Ano bang pangarap talaga nito? He was only forced to become a priest because of his grand
Of All The Forbidden Kabanata 34
"Eh?!" I heard my son said in disbelief.Inalis ko ang nakatalukbong na kumot sa mukha ko at nakita kong nakatalikod na ito sa akin. Ang buong atensyon nito ay nasa amang tulog na tulog pa rin hanggang ngayon.Hinayaan ko lang siya. Hanggang sa ilang minutong pagtitig ay niyugyog na nito ang natutulog na si Lazarus para gisingin."Wake up! Why did Mama said you are my Papa?!"Upon waking, Lazarus burrowed himself into the warm, soft sheets. He rubbed the remainders of sleep from his eyes and gazed out Alu. He suddenly sat on the bed when he saw our child sitting in front of him and now seemed annoyed and full of questions."Are you guys dating? Mama said my father is dead a long time ago! Explain it to me! Are you Mama's boyfriend now? Or are you getting married that's why you are now my Papa?" bakas sa boses nito ang inis.Ayan, nagpakilala pa kasi siyang kaibigan nito. Ngayon, parang mahihirapan pa ang anak naming maproseso ang katotohanang tatay niya talaga si Lazarus. Paano ba
Of All The Forbidden Kabanata 33
I held my lower lip with my thumb. Natulala at hindi pa rin maproseso ang nangyari. He closed his eyes as he swallowed hard. Napasandal siya sa barandilya, doon humanap ng suporta."Let's go. My head is spinning." he finally said after some minutes. He then pulled my hand. Dire-diretso ang lakad namin hanggang sa makalabas na kami ng bar. Agad kaming dumiretso sa mga nakahilerang kotse."H-how about Maureen? How can she go home?" sa wakas ay natanong ko na rin."I'm pretty sure she's with my friend by now. Stop worrying about her. Let's go." sagot niya habang naglalakad pa rin."How about her car? What will she use? Did you bring your car with you how-""If you will not stop asking I will kiss you again."He said looks threatening. I bit my lower lip to stop myself from saying something. His forehead twitched while his eyes focused on my lips.Napaiwas ito ng tingin. He swallowed hard, gumalaw ang adams apple nito habang inililibot ang mga mata sa mga kotseng nakaparada."Where's her
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