ログインThe school week flew by and Keegan’s party was here. I love going to parties with the Patts. They are so much fun. My mom won’t come. She avoids them like the plague. It would be nice to see them get along though. I don’t think I have witnessed that. It’s become normal though. It doesn’t bother any of us kids any more.
Keegan has two little sisters. They are twins: Kailee and Kelsie. They are 10 years old and the most beautiful little girls I have ever seen. They have the same blue eyes and blonde hair that he does. They all look like Mrs. Kyren. She is so beautiful. Mom said she used to model when they were in college. She was on thirteen episodes of Deal Or No Deal, as Case #20! Like such a celebrity Mrs. Kyren was. I wished her and my mom were still friends. We would have such a blast together I feel. I was most excited to see Jeff today. He had been so sweet all week. He even brought me a pack of forks to keep in my locker. They were plastic but silver so they looked super sophisticated. It was sweet that he noticed I kept forgetting my fork and went the extra mile to bring me some. We even held hands Friday when he walked me to my brother’s car. It gave me such a warm feeling in my stomach. Casey thinks he may kiss me tonight. I can’t even imagine how my first kiss will be, but if it’s with Jeff, I am sure it will be special. I hopped in the shower and sang every Harry Styles song at the top of my lungs. Only to have my mom bang on the door and tell me to shut up or she will turn off the hot water. I reluctantly obliged and finished up. Today I was going to take my bun down and wear my curls like I did on the first day of school. It took me a while to learn how to wear them. My mom wasn’t quite sure how to help me with my hair, so she had my aunt Mazey help me shop for hair products and brushes. This year my curls are the most beautiful they have ever been. They hung so far down my back and framed my face perfectly. I put on light make-up and changed into my new romper that I bought at the mall. The top was off-the-shoulders and it was flowy at the bottom. I grabbed my clear sandals and waited in the living room for Baylen. After about 10 minutes he was ready to go. We went out to the car at the same time Casey’s mom was dropping her off. “Hey Hamlin’s!” she yelled as she jumped out of the front seat. Her mom waved at us and pulled off. She was such a nice woman. Her long brown hair was so gorgeous. I wished I had that straight hair sometimes. Casey is Japanese. Her parents moved here when they were younger, so Casey was born here in New York. Her real name is Cae-Young, but her parents called her Casey to be more “American.” Her dad had a job change and moved to Louisiana when Casey was in the first grade. She has been my best friend ever since. She truly looked adorable with her yellow sundress on and oversized white sunglasses. “Hey Case,” we both said simultaneously. “I’ve got the front seat,” she yelled, dashing for the door. As we drove, my brother tried to make small talk with us. We only wanted to talk about Jeff and Cyman however. He rolled his eyes and turned up the radio. An older Fallout Boy song was on. I didn’t know it too well, but the chorus was in my head for the rest of the ride over to the field. As we pulled into the driveway I looked frantically around the back seat. Where the heck was Keegan’s present? There is no way I forgot it. I texted my mom to check on the kitchen counter and sure enough it was right there. I must have set it down when I was putting my shoes on. I took over 15 minutes wrapping it in his favorite college teams colors, Purple and Gold. I couldn’t not give it to him. She agreed to drive it over, which made me sigh a breath of relief. As soon as we parked, Casey jumped out. “Come on James, I see Jeff and Cyman!” She squealed with the biggest smile on her face. “I have to say hello to Keegan and his family first Case,” I said pointing in their direction. Even though our parents didn’t get along, the Patts treated Baylen and I like family. Kailie and Kelsie were like little sisters to me. We walked over to where the Patts were standing and began our round of hugs and hellos. “Brees, you are getting to be such a beautiful young lady,” Mrs. Patts said, hugging me tightly. “Jada have you met Brees and Baylen?” she asked.Baylen asked me to go shopping with him and Keegan. They needed a girl’s opinion about Christmas gifts for the women in their lives and apparently I’m the only platonic girl either of them knows.I didn’t want to help Keegan choose a gift for Jada. Coal. He can get her coal. That’s mean. I needed to recalibrate. He is Baylen’s best friend, not…Mine.Thinking about that made my stomach queasy. He would never be mine. Jada was so lucky that she got to call him her own. What I wouldn’t do to be able to say those sweet words. Keegan is my boyfriend. It gave me chills just thinking about it. “You ready squirt?” Baylen said, rubbing my back softly to get my attention.I definitely was in my Keegan stupor. “Yeah. Let’s do this.”As I grabbed my bag, Keegan walked into the front door. His blonde curls tumbling forward from his hood that he had pulled up on his head. Tan.Muscles.White teeth.Gorgeous.These were all of the things that flew through my brain in mere seconds. “Hey. Squ
The lake had been Casey’s idea.Which, honestly, should have been my first warning.Whenever Casey said, “I have an idea,” it usually meant there was about a fifty-percent chance it would be fun and a fifty-percent chance someone would end up yelling.By ten in the morning, half our friend group had taken over the shoreline.Music was blasting from a speaker sitting on top of a cooler. Someone had brought a volleyball net. Towels were scattered everywhere, bags of chips were being passed around, and Baylen and Keegan were arguing over who had forgotten the sunscreen.I stood at the edge of the water with my sunglasses pushed onto my head, watching them wrestle over a football.“You two are literally children!” I yelled.Keegan looked over his shoulder.The second he saw me, his entire face changed.There it was.That smile.The one that still made my stomach flip even though I was finally allowed to admit that I liked him.“There she is,” he called.I tried not to smile.I failed.Kee
“Babe, I know I hurt you and I’m going to try to do everything that I can to make it up to you. I was an idiot. My friendship should not have given way to shutting you out and it did. I should have pressed the issue with Baylen and made him aware that my feelings were more than a crush. They are more than a mere infatuation or school boy fantasy. They are real! And I love you more than I could ever express in words. I will show you over and over though for the rest of our lives,” Keegan pleaded. His one loose curl fell into his eyes as he begged for my acceptance. Did he just say for the rest of our lives? Keegan had no intention of letting me go and that’s all I wanted to hear. “Kee, can we go to your room and spend some time, not talking?” I asked, giving him a wink. I grabbed his hand and led him upstairs to his bedroom. His light was dimmed and the room was dark from his blackout curtains. I sat on the side of his bed. “Brees, this isn’t what I meant by showing you my love.
The next few weeks, after I left for camp, were filled with softball and FaceTime calls to Keegan. When I went back to my dorm for the night, I would shower the dirt from the ball field off of my body and climb into my giant LSU shirt and sweatpants and cuddle up in my bed. Keegan usually called me around 8:30 pm after football practice. He was always so eager to chat and shower me with kind words. “I miss you so much. I imagine you here every day in my arms,” he would say.We hadn’t seen each other in person since I left for camp and that kiss we had was our last. We also hadn’t talked about the level of our feelings. I knew I loved him, but I wasn’t sure if he was there yet. Being able to see his face and hear his voice every night made this distance so much more bearable. When I return home we will spend every moment together that we can. We were smitten with one another. Again, we just hadn’t said it. Those three words, eight letters. I keep trying to say it when we get off of t
“I asked him not to tell and he was also embarrassed about taking money from my mom. But it has helped his family a lot and he isn’t working as much,” she noted.Again, something I didn’t know. Jada was more his girlfriend, pretending, than I ever was.“Jada, I appreciate you for coming by, but I do really need to get going,” I said, giving her a side hug. “It was kind of you to do this for me and for Keegan,” I finished, heaving a giant duffel bag into the hallway.“No problem. I hope you have the best time at your training camp. Get lots of goals and stuff. Or whatever they do in softball,” she joked.As she said goodbye I thought about what she had said. I wished Keegan had trusted me enough to know I would understand. We obviously didn’t have the relationship that he and Jada had. I went outside to place my remaining bags on the curb. Everyone was already there to see me off: My dad, Alison, Casey, Cyman, Quinn, Ms. Kyren and the twins. I didn't see Keegan. I gave out hugs and ki
The day finally came for me to say goodbye to my family and friends for three weeks. I was really going to miss their faces every day. I had five suitcases packed, a duffel bag, my backpack and my softball bat bag. The bus would be here to grab me in an hour. Baylen said they were not going to let me take all of these bags, but mom said she would drop off whatever I couldn’t bring on the bus. They rented us a charter bus. I packed my headphones and planned to watch a movie on the way. It was less than a two hour drive but we had four more girls to grab from the airport. Baylen was helping me carry my bags when he stopped in my doorway. He turned and his face grew somber. “Brees, I have to tell you something. I’m not supposed to say a word, but I saw how heartbroken you were the other night and I can’t keep watching my baby sis be sad,” he said. I was unsure of how my demeanor should be at the moment. I felt a wave of sickness come over me. I knew what he was going to say and it w







