Chapter 4: Cracks in the Armor

The second I stepped back onto Toronto ice after Montreal I knew the line between hate and need had already blurred too far.

Practices felt completely different now. Every drill Coach paired us together on purpose. Kade and I circled each other like fighters waiting for the bell. His gray eyes followed me across the rink and the air got thick enough to choke on. I tried to keep my distance. Skated harder. Focused on the puck. But Coach kept yelling the same thing.

“Ryder work with Volkov on that breakout. Again.”

After one drill I wiped sweat from my face and skated over to him. “You hear that? We are stuck together whether we like it or not.”

Kade wiped his mouth with his jersey. “You complaining again Captain? Thought you liked telling me what to do.”

“I like winning,” I shot back. “Not chasing around a guy who might snap any second. Keep your head straight today. No more cheap stuff.”

He glided closer stick tapping mine. “Cheap? I play real hockey. You want soft passes and pretty goals. That why you keep staring at me during tape review? Wondering how rough I can get off the ice too?”

“Focus on the system Volkov,” I said ignoring the heat in my chest. “We lost focus last night in Montreal and it almost cost us. Do not make me regret covering for you.”

“Covering for me?” He laughed low. “You kissed me back pretty hard. Now you act like I am the problem. Make up your mind Ryder.”

I pushed past him to the next drill. “My mind is on the team. You should try it.”

The week dragged like that. Every look from Kade felt loaded. Every brush during line changes sent my pulse racing. I told myself it was just leftover anger from the fight. Nothing more. But my body remembered that hotel room too well.

Then we had a tough home loss. The crowd booed us off the ice after blowing a two goal lead. Locker room stayed quiet. Guys dressed fast and left. I needed to clear my head so I headed to the empty weight room deep in the arena. The place smelled like rubber mats and metal. I dropped onto a bench and started some light lifts trying to burn off the frustration.

Footsteps echoed behind me ten minutes later. I knew who it was without looking.

Kade stepped in hoodie half zipped sweat still on his neck. “Running away to lift alone Captain? Or hoping I would follow?”

I set the weights down. “Just clearing my head after that shit show out there. You played too loose again. Cost us the game.”

He dropped his bag and moved closer. “Loose? I scored the only goal we got. You turned the puck over twice. Maybe stop pointing fingers.”

I stood up fast. “I am the captain. It is my job to call it out. You charge in every time like you have a personal war going on. What is your deal Volkov? Why so angry all the time?”

Kade shoved my shoulder not hard but enough to make me step back. “Angry? You have no idea. You grew up with everything handed to you. Perfect family. Perfect record. I fight because that is all I know. You want me soft like you? Not happening.”

I shoved him back chest to chest now. “Soft? I fight every night for this team. For these fans. You show up with your scars and attitude and act like you are the only one who knows pain. News flash. We all carry shit.”

Our breathing got heavier. The argument turned into pushing. Hands on shoulders. Then suddenly his mouth crashed into mine slower this time. More frustrated than angry. Like we both knew we should stop but could not.

Kade pulled back just enough to speak. “You drive me fucking insane Ryder. Always lecturing. Always watching me.”

“Then stop giving me reasons to watch,” I muttered kissing him again deeper. My hands fisted in his hoodie. “This is stupid. We should not be doing this here.”

“Yet here we are,” he growled against my lips. “You could walk away but you do not. Tell me why.”

I did not have an answer. Instead I yanked his hoodie off. We moved to the padded floor in the corner hands rough but the pace slower now. More intense. Kade turned me over onto my stomach kissing down my spine slow and hot. His mouth traced every bump sending shivers through me.

“You taste like sweat and bad decisions,” he said voice rough against my skin. “But I still want more.”

“Shut up and fuck me then,” I replied pushing back against him. “If we are doing this make it count.”

Kade grabbed lube from his bag slicking himself quick. He spread my legs and pushed inside from behind slow at first letting me feel every inch. Deep and steady. The stretch burned so good.

“Fuck you feel incredible,” he groaned starting to thrust. “So tight Captain. Always acting in control but you open up for me like this.”

I gripped the mat moaning into my arm. “Harder Kade. Stop holding back.”

He built the rhythm deeper hips snapping steady. One hand reached around stroking my cock in time with his thrusts. The pleasure hit different this time. More frustrating. Like we both knew this was dangerous but could not quit.

“Right there,” I gasped. “Do not stop.”

“You like that?” he asked breathing hot against my neck. “Me buried in you while the whole arena is empty? Anyone could walk in.”

The thought made it hotter. I pushed back meeting every thrust. “Just fuck me. Make me come.”

Kade stroked me faster thrusting deep and steady. “Come on my cock Ryder. Let go.”

I came hard spilling over his fist and the mat with a rough groan. My body clenched around him. Kade cursed low and followed right after burying himself deep pulsing inside me.

We stayed like that for a minute sweaty and breathing hard. Then he pulled out and sat up.

“You should stay away from me,” he muttered wiping his hand.

I rolled over sitting up slow. My legs felt weak. “Yeah I should. This is going to blow up in our faces.”

But I did not mean it. I was already in too deep. The pull to him felt stronger than the hate now.

I dressed quick and left the weight room without another word. Back at my apartment the place felt too quiet. I grabbed a beer and sat on the couch pulling out my phone. I typed Kade Volkov into the search bar. Stories popped up fast. Suspensions from his old league. Bar fights. Whispers about his brother’s death back in Russia. Something about a cover up and bad people. Nothing clear but enough to leave a bad feeling in my gut.

What the hell had I gotten myself into? The sex felt too real. The way he touched me. The things he said. I should listen to his warning and stay away. But as I stared at the screen I already knew tomorrow at practice I would look for him first.

This thing with Kade was cracking my armor wide open and I had no idea how to stop it.