Tangisan Widuri

"I hereby reject you, Alpha Damon, as my mate."

Was that supposed to hurt?

I think it was.

I have heard stories that I was supposed to be going through some excruciating pain of some sort. My wolf should be writhing and howling; he should be clawing to come to the surface. I could feel his hurt, but it was not as bad as the tales made them seem. He was whimpering. He still wanted her, but not like before. He knew Amanda and her wolf were unbearable creatures. It was almost impossible for us to please her. They were always agitated and annoyed with us. It almost felt like they could not wait for this moment.

Good riddance.

I could feel the eyes of my entire pack on us. The majority were on me. I could see the sympathy, I could see the pain and empathy. But I could also see the expectations. They wanted to see me on my knees begging her not to do this. They wanted to see the pain. They wanted to see me display some sort of emotion for once.

They can keep dreaming, but it will never happen.

I know it seems like we aren’t mates at all. If we were, this is supposed to be a painful and heart-breaking moment. But it wasn’t. It was cold and emotionless. Just like the first time we met and mated. I met her during my parole. We knew we were mates and immediately declared each other ours. I had waited my entire life to find my mate. I had hoped that I would finally be able to feel something. Anything. Happiness, joy, excitement, even sadness. But there was nothing. I really did put in an effort to make our relationship fun and tolerable. I bought her flowers, I took her out on dates, we went walking and howling at the moon together, we went hunting together, I let her lead my pack and pleased her in every way possible in bed.

But it was never enough for her.

It was never enough for me.

Maybe the moon goddess made a mistake in making us mates. Okay, maybe not. She definitely made a mistake.

To the pack, we were the perfect couple. But to the both of us, we were nothing but two miserable wolves looking for some sensation. To actually feel something, but we never did with each other.

Maybe that was why this wasn’t hurting as much as I thought it would.

"Okay."

Gasps and murmurs erupted from my pack at my cold response. I knew none of them were expecting it, not even Amanda. Her eyes were wide with surprise, but she was quick to mask it with a scowl. But the hurt was still very much evident in her blue eyes. I know she wanted me to fight for her, but she was a fool if she thought I would. I only fought for my pack. It was my job, my responsibility, and my duty as their leader. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Perhaps this was why they called me heartless. Cold. Even evil. But I was never evil to my pack. If I actually succumbed to the true desires of my demons, I would make every wolf present howl in pain, just like my father did. But I wasn’t my father.

Amanda blinked away her shock and straightened her back. I could see the tears brimming in her deep blue eyes, but it didn’t affect me. It didn’t hurt me. It didn’t even make me feel happy. I felt nothing. Like always.

"I am also renouncing my membership of the Black Moon pack. I will henceforth be known as a member of the Bloody Canines," she said, and the murmurs escalated. There was a drastic change in the air. I could feel the anger of every wolf present, but it was in no way in comparison to mine.

Of all the packs, she chose to join our number one enemy, the bloody canines. She might as well be an enemy and a threat to us all. I could feel my wolf stirring within me. Her words had not only saddened him, but angered him. Our mate is a traitor.

Some members of my pack were starting to transform into their wolves. All I had to do was give the order and Amanda was as good as dead. But judging from the way she was looking at me, she knew I would give her time to escape. Time to run, like the coward she has always been.

"You have thirty seconds," I announced, causing a grin to form on her thin pink lips. She was quick to transform into her ginger wolf and I began the countdown, "One."

Her ginger fur moved graciously on her back as she began to run on all fours. I knew she was one of the fastest in our pack. It was one of her qualities that made her an amazing luna. I waited a few seconds once she was completely out of my sight. I stood at the center of my pack. They had all transformed and were waiting for me to give the order.

My territory was big, incredibly big. Thirty seconds would not be enough for her to cross our borders. No matter how fast she was, she could not outrun over two hundred wolves.

She was dead.

My chin tilted in the direction she went and that was all it took to have my entire pack sprinting towards their new enemy on our territory. I knew I wasn’t fair by giving her only ten seconds when I initially said thirty, but that was another thing I was known for. I was never to be trusted.

The snarls, growls, and howls of my pack filled the night air as they hunted down their new prey. A part of me wanted to join the hunt, but the alpha who had been staring at me from the shadows made me decide otherwise.

"You can come out now," I said, my voice a bit lower than it was before. Actually, this is how it has always been. Calm, collected and cold.

Alpha Damini’s laugh pierced my ears like a needle through a cloth. It echoed and bounced off the trees surrounding me. I could feel her moving around me in circles, watching me, mocking me.

"I was wondering why it took you so long to notice me. Could the almighty alpha be getting slow?" She taunted, and I could feel my wolf stir. But it wasn’t from her mockery, he was excited. But what about?

"No matter how hard you try to cover your scent, I will always catch it. I sensed you from the very moment you passed my borders." I informed her as I proceeded to turn on my heel and head back to the pack house. I knew she was following me. I could hear her jumping from branch to branch above me. She was swift, but not like me. "If my people knew you were here, they would have killed you on the spot."

"Aww, does the big bad wolf have a soft spot for me now?" She was closer than she was. Too close.

My canines elongated and so did my claws. My senses heightened and I would transform into my wolf faster than she could blink. Damini knew me. She knew that even if I were alone, she wouldn’t stand a chance against me. But that never stopped her from attacking.

That was what made her an exceptional alpha of the bloody canines. She was strong, brave, quick and intelligent. 

"If we killed you, your pack would come after us and you know it," I stated before shutting my eyes and pushing my wolf back. I wasn’t in the mood for a fight, but I could take her on in my human form anyway. "What do you want?" I finally asked, and her movements came to a halt.

I could feel her breath on my neck and her claw at my nape.

She was right behind me. One wrong move and she would behead me. But she wouldn’t dare.

Her deep voice filled my ears, causing an abnormal sensation to go down my spine, "For you to stay away from my territory."

That’s when I moved. I came face-to-face with her wild, violet eyes, and just like I predicted, she didn’t strike. She knew better than to kill me in my own territory. There was no way she would make it out alive.

Hiking my dark eyebrow, I looked at her with slight amusement and said, "You came to my territory to tell me to stay away from yours? You aren’t that stupid, Damini."

Her canines were beginning to slip past her lips and I did not fail to notice her fingernails turning to claws. She was trying desperately to hold back her wolf. She wanted to attack, to kill. But she knew better, we both did.

"Don’t try to act smart with me. Your pack is the only pack that would dare to cross our territory and set our lands ablaze. We caught some of your pack scent, so don’t even think of lying."

"It could have been a rogue with our scent." I countered boredly. Why would any of my own go to her territory?

"Tell your pack to stay away, or I will forget that we are avoiding starting a war. You know your pack can not survive another one of those," she said, a ghost of a smile appearing on her lips. And it was wicked, just like her.

I said, "Neither can yours," and she huffed. She turned her back on me and proceeded to walk away when she suddenly stopped and glanced at me over her shoulder.

She said something that I never expected: "I’m sorry about your mate." Then she transformed into her legendary purple wolf and was out of my sight.

Something told me that her last statement was her true reason for coming out here tonight, that even though we were enemies, she knew how painful rejection was. But I felt no pain.

They were all sorry I lost my mate, but I wasn’t.