The Wind

CRYSTAL

I can hear her in the background. Her soft giggles- probably to mock the fact that she's in my husband's arms while he answers my call.

"I'm not gonna make it today," John sighs like he's exhausted and sick of my call. "I told you already, I still have loads of work to do."

I stare at my ring on my finger. The beautiful ring that I've always admired doesn't bring a smile on my face anymore. The diamond rock is beautiful and I've always loved diamonds. I practically bought my own ring… his too.

"Uhm," I blink away from it, looking at the empty dinning table where it's just me and myself with a table set for two. I shouldn't even have bothered.

The slight tug in my belly reminds me of why I even bothered. It was that time of the month again.

"I was thinking… since it's today… my rut," I lower my voice, feeling ashamed to even mention this over the phone.

"What's that?" I can imagine the scornful clueless look on his face. "Oh! That thing. Alpha's rut." I know he rolls his eyes. He always does like it's… bothersome. "Can't you take your medicine instead?"

Again? Why was he so… heartless and inconsiderate? I blink at the tears that wells up in my eye, squeezing my fist over my thighs.

"It's not working," I say, trying to sound normal even as the sob clogs my throat. "I took it the last time and the other time. I need you, John. I can't take anymore of it. The doctor said if I keep piling up the rut, it'll lead to bad health-"

His sudden sigh is a sign for me to shut up. I don't… want to irritate him. I didn't mean to irritate him.

"Okay. That sounds bad. But I don't get it. You're not Alpha yet-"

Here. We go… again.

"So why are you getting a rut? Isn’t it supposed to happen when your father hands over the Pack to you?"

But that won't ever happen. They'll be no handing over of anything because four years ago I made a choice. I picked you over my inheritance.

"That's not how it works," I whisper calmly. It's not like you stop being a wolf even if you marry a human. "I have Alpha blood in my veins. It doesn't just awaken when I'm Alpha… if I ever get to be-"

"Then don’t let this bother you. Rut or whatnot," he chuckled, sounding very dismissive and I knew he was about to sweep it under the rug or change the topic.

"I really need you, John," I say again, hoping he would have a grasp of the situation. I was sweating despite the winter season, I was hot, desperate and needy. I needed him by my side. My husband to care for me and make love to me.

Lots of Alpha's have died because of the rut. It could cause madness too. I have ignored my rut for years because of him, taking suppressants but this time Doc. Choi is against it.

In her words, "You better find someone to mark you, Crystal. Because this is your limit!"

"Isn't this just… basic horniness?" he asks, dragging me out from my thoughts. "Crystal, you have my permission to use toys. It's okay. Just pleasure yourself, I won't get jealous," he laughs softly making a cute sound that only annoys me.

"It's not that simple, John. I just can't-"

"Crystal," his tone is stern now. "I'm trying to provide you with a solution. Why are you making it seem like I don't care about you?"

My jaw almost drops in shock. "No, that's not what I meant-"

"Do you think I don't want to be with you at a time like this? It pains me more to hear you sound so desperate. I know this is not you. You're not usually… you're not usually this slutty."

My body feels numb and heavy at his words and it only drives me further into despair.

"What?" I whisper with blurred vision of tears.

"Look, I hate how this rut is changing my sweet wife. You're always so innocent but hearing you talk like this, I wonder if…. If you've been faithful to me all these time I've been away."

Now he's… he's questioning my faithfulness? I'm not the one with a lousy chick in my bed- Heck! I can hear her breathing and giggling. Did he not know that an Alpha had twice and thrice the senses of a normal wolf?

I guess I shouldn't hold it out on him. He's human!

Her presence next to him is a heaviness in my heart. A proof of his infidelity and a slap to our marriage!

"You know I've been!" I cannot stop the hurt and the rising of my voice. "You know I would never-"

"Crystal," there's that tone, the one that makes me shut up and clench my toes in my seat. "You're starting to yell." I hear the frown in his voice. "I don't think I remember you being this way when I was around. Is this because you've been hanging out with Simone and Mike again?"

Don't. bring my friends. Into this.

"I won't be mad at you but I'm very disappointed. Once again. You've proven to defy me as your husband. I am too disappointed to continue this call. Let's talk later when you've regained some manners, young lady."

"Is that clear?"

I don't want to hang up. I want him to have the wrong idea. When did this shift into a blame game?

"I made dinner," I whispered, trying hard not to cry, trying to ignore the lump in my throat and the ache in my chest but it slips and I sniffle a little bit. "I-I wanted us to take a stroll back to the park… yunno, the one where you asked me to marry you," I'm shaking and trembling now, wiping my eyes but the action is futile.

"I just wanted us to spend a little time to-"

"How… very… manipulative of you, Crystal! Pulling the victim card?" his voice is harsh and his sudden outburst is like a cat thrown in cold water. "I just told you I had work to attend to and you're doing this? You know how hard I struggle so we can have enough! I'm not like you who has an inheritance and even if Daddy dear won't talk to me, he still sends my monthly check- goddammit!"

The silence on the phone is heavy and while I try to recover from my shock, I hear the bitch again and some kissing sounds.

"Don't call me until I call you," he hangs up.

I stare at the phone with a gaping jaw and eyes wide in shock and hurt but I am soon overwhelmed by the ache in my belly that feels like a truck just ran into me. Groaning , I crumble to the floor, hiding my face and trying to hide from the pain.

It's getting harder to breathe and all I can do is gasp for air.

Phoning him was a mistake. I never should've… I never should…

The woman's giggle won't leave my head. His harsh words have built a temple there, housing her and only her. Are they fucking this very minute while I lay here and battle with death?

Does he love her too… the same way he once… loved me.