I WAS FUCKED EVEN BEFORE I KNEW IT

LUCIO

The fierceness and authority in her voice made me want to find out who she was even before one of my men made it clear that she was not like the others.

I knew what he meant when he said “dfferent” - he definitely meant older, stubborn, and far from pretty like the other young girls. She didn’t look like she was pure either. She stared at me with the eyes of a woman who had seen a lot of the world and wasn’t scared of anything that will come her way anymore.

She was clearly bad for business.

But still, she reminded me so much of Valeria. Not in her physical qualities though, but in her poise, her fearlessness and the way she stared back at me like she was daring me to try anything stupid with her.

I ran my hands through her hair, and even though she smelled like a mess who hadn’t had a decent bath in days, her hair was still as velvety as silk, and flowed between my fingers like oil.

I know this woman. I know I have seen her somewhere - or is my mind playing tricks on me?

I wanted to be mad at my men for their mistake - at least I finally had a chance to - but in a very weird turn of events, I felt relief from my pain and a feeling I couldn’t place at her presence.

It felt like what I had lost was replaced by something even better.

No, this can’t be good…

I tried to remember where exactly I had seen her. I have met a lot of women, but not all of them leave a dent in my memory.

But I am so sure I had seen that face somewhere, and had even thought about it recently… before the wedding…

As my hands brushed the soft hollow of her neck, I heard her sharply take in air while still trying to maintain the fierce gaze she casted on me.

In that split second, I felt like I was bewitched by a clairvoyant spirit, and I could see all that I could not remember earlier.

I remembered that day at the mall like it was just yesterday.

The woman with a kid in her hand and a basket in another, who was hurrying to God-knows-where when we bumped into each other at the checkout section.

The same woman whose face remained stuck in my mind weeks later like rock in the ground.

This same woman that I couldn’t help but think about even a few hours to my own wedding.

I took a step back from her. Scared of the kind of prank life was playing me at that moment.

Valeria leaves and is immediately replaced by someone that had almost made me doubt my wedding decisions?

I avoided her eyes as I returned to my desk, hands trembling as I broke my promise to Valeria, and poured myself a glass of wine which I gulped down in one smooth drink.

‘Take her out of here’ I said to my own surprise and the surprise of every other person in the room, but no one dared to protest except the woman.

I myself a couple more shots of the gin while trying to still my thoughts and my quaking hands.

‘Let me go you fucking psychopath, what the hell do you think you-’ the rest of her words only floated to other listening ears.

Did she just call me names?

Who the hell does she think she is? And where the hell does she think she is? In a random club in New York where she could scream profanities and get away with it like that?

‘Stop’ I commanded, and turned fiery eyes towards her. She didn’t seem the least bit scared, or maybe she was just so good at hiding it.

‘What did you just say to me?’ I took slow steps towards her, but she didn’t flinch, just stood with her hands intertwined in the men’s arms, and waited for whatever came next.

‘Let me go back to my family, you fucking cunt’ I let my anger get the best of me as my palms flew into the air and landed sleekly on her cheek.

No one had ever dared to talk to me like that. No one, not even a woman. But hidden behind my anger was a brewing admiration for this woman who had the nerves to call me names in front of my men.

She has no idea what she has got herself into.

‘Take her to the red room,’ I directed the command towards Carlos, ‘and punish her’. I instructed and left the room after drowning the last glass of my drink.

I walked towards my room, ready to retire for the night  and think about what to do with Valeria, how to reach her at least. But a strong magnet pulled my mind back.

I wanted to see that woman get punished, wanted to make sure she learned her lesson tonight, and never dared to talk trash at me anymore.

I would very much love to see the fear in her eyes, to see her beg to be released, to be set free from the impending pain she is about to witness.

Retracing my steps, I walked back towards the red room, cautious not to get noticed by her as I sneaked into the room and stood at a dark corner while I watched Carlos tie her to the poles.

‘What are you going to do to me?’ she asked Carlos, but he ignored her.

The dark red colour of the room casted a shadow on her body, and when she asked the question again, I was so sure the light had casted fear in her heart as well.

‘Why am I here?’ her voice quivered as she asked the question, and it pleased me that she was already learning the first lesson - fear. After tonight, she will definitely think twice before saying a word.

I watched keenly as Carlos ran a whip he had picked from the rack on her body, circling her as he trailed the tip of the whip on every corner of her skin which he had stripped naked before tying her up.

I could almost feel every corner of her skin where the whip touched, I could feel it like it was the tip of my fingers doing the task.

Then came the part I had been waiting for.

Wushck! Came the sound of whip teaching through he air landing on fair skin that was hidden by the darkness in the room, and the scream that followed did not give me the pleasure I had been waiting for.

It tore through my heart like the whip through her flesh.

I waited for the second lash, and then the third, but with each scream, and each whip, I felt more uncomfortable.

It felt like I was letting a part of me get tortured, someone I should be protecting from the whip.

Soon, the screaming seized, even though the lashes continued, and I looked back in her direction and noticed her face turned towards me. I could not see her eyes, or tell the expression on her face, but I knew it burned with pain and hatred.

I watched silently at the way her body quivered each time he stopped and ran his hands on her body, and I couldn’t help but feel discomfort at her silent plea, instead of joy.

What is she doing to me?

Who is she?

She looked like someone who had gone through enough trauma already, but I didn’t care even a tiny bit what it was. I had my own pain to heal from, and if she is the right bait for me to return to my sanity, then so be it.

And she really had to get used to her new environment. It is not my fault that she was gullible enough to believe a random man online.

If she love her family as much as she did, she wouldn’t have ever considered running off to meet someone else.

She stared back at me with unbridled hatred and disgust as the lashes kept landing on her body, and I knew Carlos was getting frustrated by the silence as he intensified the pressure on the whip.

But only the stifled grunts gave away the pain she felt.

‘Tame’ I growled, from where I stood, and for the first time, Carlos noticed me presence in the room. He obeyed quickly and got a different whip from the rack. This one thicker than the last one, and with a very long tip that curled around a person’s body when whipped, like a snake around it’s catch.

‘5’ I instructed and Carlos went to business, lashing out each stroke with as much intensity as the anger he noticed in my eyes.

I wanted her to break, to give up her tough cover and learn her lesson. But the woman seemed adamant.

Only the tears that escaped her eyes betrayed the pain she was definitely so bad at hiding.

Her eyes were still on me as each whip kissed every corner of her skin, daring me to do my worst, to break her.

I left the darkness where I had hidden myself, and walked briskly towards the line to take a whip.

I chose the old cowboy belts - the one with with metal rings on it where the belt holes should be.

I looked at her for a while as I slowly wrapped the belt around my hand.

When the first lash met her skin, a low whimper escaped her lips. I looked at her thighs here the belt had landed and noticed it redden.

I released another lash across her chest and the sound that came next was close to what I had been waiting to hear.

A loud moan as the belt tore through her shirt, leaving her dark nipples exposed.

Without thinking, I released another lash on the same spot and she gave up trying to be the stubborn woman she was trying to proof to be. The cry was loud and piercing.

I walked up closer to her and looked straight into her eyes, daring her now to look back at me. But she let down her head as she sobbed gently, her skin red with the marks.

The discomfort I felt earlier resumes as I listened to her cry, and I wished I could soothe her pain, and apologize for causing her pain.

In that tiny moment, it felt like I knew more about her than just the chanced meeting at the mall.

I threw the belt on the floor and walked out.

I walked out of the room feeling a heavier weight on my chest than the one I walked in with.

I was so fucked, and I was yet to realize it.