Zurvive

Simula

"He's known for being a headache to his family, but it differs when It comes to me..."

I was already laying on the bed, and he's on top of me. We're both fully clothed, but we can sense a full-boosted desire in each other's eyes.

Napalunok ako habang nilalakbay ng aking mga mata ang kanyang mata, pababa sa kanyang labi. He's also doing the same. After some seconds, his eyes and mine met.

The desire is still there-it even heightened more. I saw his adam's apple moved because of a gulp.

His hands moved upward-while it was placed inside my T-shirt. Unti-unti iyong tumaas, na labis na nagpa-pikit sakin. It wasn't because of the feeling. I closed my eyes to control myself, and finally do the right decision at the moment.

"Stop..." I murmured. Sa sobrang hina niyon ay mapaghahalataan na maski ako ay hindi sigurado sa isinatinig 'kong salita. Tila isa iyong bulong, isang pagpigil, na hindi nais ng taong nagsalita na marinig ng iba.

Ngunit napatigil niyon ang binata.

Naramdaman ko ang sunud-sunod na paghinga niya ng malalim, dahilan para sandali akong mapapikit bago tuluyang sinalubong ang tingin niya. His eyes-this is the pair of eyes that got me.

Whenever those pair of eyes are on me, I cannot understand my next actions. I feel like I've been put under a spell whenever his eyes lands to mine.

"You really want to stop...at this moment?.." He asked, sounding so unsure and questionable.

I gulped once more, before nodding. "Y-yeah." I said as I look away. "I think...this is too much for the night..." I added.

Hindi ako nakarinig ng sagot mula sa kanya sa loob ng ilang segundo. Nanatili siyang nasa ibabaw ko.

Next thing I've heard is a loud sigh coming from him. And that bothered me.

"D-do you want to...continue?" I asked. Of course I want to hear his side. I mean, we're now at the middle. I will understand if he's frustrated because of my sudden pull back.

I actually expect him to be angry. To get annoyed. To feel irritated about me, because that is the reactions I've watched and read on some dramas and romance books.

"I won't continue if you don't want to continue," He suddenly said that caught my attention. Natagpuan ko siyang nakangiti sa akin. "I'm not the type who forces someone just to do my bidding. I will respect your decision..." Aniya, bago tuluyang umalis sa ibabaw ko. Naupo ito sa dulo ng kama, nakatalikod mula sa akin.

Agad din akong bumangon upang mas tanawin ito.

I can hear his short and silent breathing-probably trying his best to contain and control himself.

Habang ako naman ay inayos ang strap ng suot 'kong bra, na kanina ay nasa bandang braso ko na.

Nang maayos ang sarili ay ibinalik ko ang tingin ko sa kanya. Nanatili pa rin siyang nakatalikod.

Is he angry?

Iniisip nya ba na pinaasa ko sya or niloko ko sya?

I looked down. I guess I need to say something for him to not misunderstand me.

I take a deep breath.

"Markus... please don't think that I did this just to-"

"I did not, and I won't think that way. I'm sure you have your reasons. And, Its actually too fast. I understand you," He said, not letting me finish my words.

I sighed once again. "Hindi ka talaga galit?"

"Why would I?" He asked back, before finally looking back at me. Our gaze once again met. "If I'll do this with you, I should have your full consent first. If you don't want, then I'll respect it." Aniya, bago ako nginitian.

Somehow, his words made me feel at ease and the heaviness in my heart lightened a bit.

But then, there's still remaining questions inside my head that I need to let out.

"Markus..." I called.

"Hmmm?" He hummed.

I look on my hand. "If I...If I hadn't stop you, will you still go on?" tanong ko, na muling nakabalik ng atensyon nya sa akin.

Kitang-kita ko ang gulat at pagtatanong sa kanyang mata.

I need answer.

And I hope he can answer me well.

I don't want to hate him. Magaan ang loob ko sa kanya. I want him to be my friend. My only male friend.

Isang minuto siguro ang lumipas ngunit nanatiling tikom ang bibig niya habang ang mata ay nasa akin pa rin.

Sa pag-aalala na baka hindi nya malinaw na narinig ang tanong ko ay nagpasya akong ulitin iyon.

"If I hadn't stop you earlier, will you still continue?"

And without a single heart beat passing, Markus answered me.

"Yes." Walang preno niyang sagot, na ikinagulat ko.

"W-what?" I asked, stammering.

Markus stared at me deeply.

"I'm a man, Liz. I have needs. But that needs doesn't mean I'll let it win against my moral. If you didn't stop me earlier, I will continue thinking that we both want it too. But since you ordered me to stop, then I'll stop because I respect you." aniya, na hindi ko alam ngunit ikinapatak ng isang butil ng luha galing sa aking mata.

He may be a headache to his family, but for me, he's a treasure I intend to keep beside me. In this lifetime.