12 Am Thoughts Novels & Stories

I am not even sure whether I would believe what Lance said but do I have a choice? I checked the time. It is already 5 a.m. and I never slept yet. I went back to bed, close my eyes and tried to meditate. It was good to know that today is Saturday and I don't need to face other people. I'm sure I will look like a zombie if I go out. I tried to remove the diary out of my brain, I need to be energized tomorrow.

Sitting in class after lunch was almost a waste. My thoughts kept going back to the last twenty-four hours. It was hard for me to fathom that this time yesterday my last thoughts were I'd be some guy's playmate. But here I was and I couldn't get my mind off what we had done – what I had done.

Today felt different, like the start of something new. I reached for my iPad again, scrolling through my ideas for the next vlog. One idea caught my eye, a simple yet powerful concept: "Moments That Matter." It felt fitting, almost poetic, given the events of the past few days. I wanted to create something that celebrated the little things—the laughter over coffee, the encouragement from friends, the quiet victories that often go unnoticed.

I muttered, sorting through the digital pile. My phone buzzed with a calendar reminder: "10:00 AM - Development Team Meeting." Great. Just what I needed – a room full of people who probably thought I slept my way to the top.

I closed my eyes and I didn’t notice that I fall asleep. I woke up in the middle of noon. It’s now 12:30 pm and I don’t have an appetite for each today. I don’t have an idea why I lose my appetite. One thing on my mind when I woke up is all that Gio did to me last night. It’s hilarious because I can’t remove it from my mind. Since there are a lot of thoughts that have been bothering me, I decided to take a bath early. As I told Kuya Sam earlier, we’re going somewhere that will make my mind entertained.

_*]:min-w-0 gap-3"> She thought about what it would have meant, at twelve, to receive a message that said: good instinct. _*]:min-w-0 gap-3" She picked up her pen and went back to work.

The two in the car didn’t look as big as Aldo, but they were driving past at sixty miles an hour… We’re cruising along the highway by the time I come back. And I’ve had a change of heart. Five minutes ago, I believed in thinking that what I was thinking this morning was silly, but current me doesn't think so. I’ve calmed down from our pull over experiment and want to know what Aldo thinks of us. It’s fantastic timing, I know, but I feel like we should discuss it…

"Considerably." Daniel looked at him. He thought about the forty-seven seconds and the seven declined approaches and the bridge and the grocery store and the eggs and the site visit and the eighty-three-degree corner and understood and all of it — all the accumulated weight of eight weeks and nine years, present in this moment, on this street, in this particular amber light. He thought: not yet, but close. He thought about December and the year ending and the accurate name he had been carrying since Monday. He thought: the right moment arrives when it arrives. You take it.

But I wasn't able to relax fully. There were too many thoughts running around in my mind. Some of them are happy, some of them are sad or worried, and there are lots and lots of others that are just confusing. I wake up around ten o'clock and decide to go for a walk. Once outside I walk around aimlessly for a while, trying to calm down but I couldn't seem to find anything to focus on.

TESSA I wait until 10 AM to call Emilia, right as I’m walking to work. Growth, if you ask me. I could’ve called her at 7, when I was still stewing in bed. Or at 8, when I nearly threw my phone across the room. But no—10 AM. That’s self-control. I choose to walk. Thought it might help. Walking clears my head. Brings a sense of order. Reminds me that I make terrible, terrible decisions.