911 Jokes Novels & Stories

Then someone in the crowd sneered, their voice dripping with sarcasm. "Oh, that must be Sophia's sugar daddy. Showed up to defend her. She's not picky, is she. She'll take a guy in his fifties." The crowd erupted. Some covered their mouths, laughing. Others joined in openly. "Yeah, I heard she doesn't care about age. Maybe this old man's a regular too." The dean's expression tightened. He turned sharply toward the crowd. "All of you–shut your mouths!" He glanced at my injuries, his voice urgent.

"Did Vanessa say that the chairman's daughter is a kept mistress? That's the biggest joke I've ever heard!" Right then, Terrence couldn't hold it in any longer and finally let out a cold laugh. "You idiots. This branch office has been losing money year after year. Headquarters has been wanting to investigate for a long time! "If Ms. Monroe hadn't hidden her identity and come down here to dig into your shady accounts herself, how much longer did you think you could keep fooling everyone? "You sure have some nerve making Ms. Monroe serve you coffee, fetch you water, and take the blame for you. How many heads do you think you have to lose?"

"I heard we have excellence health insurance so I can just avail it!" I joked to lighten the mood but it made the opposite effect. So I just shut up again. He dial something in his phone and put it in his ear. "Sit down on the couch now." I just follow his command to not trigger his temper further. "What do you want to eat?" He asked me while calling someone on his phone. You. Joke! Of course I did not say that. I don't want to go to jail for harassment. "I don't know" "Do you like sushi?"

The cabbie tried to start a conversation with me, but one look from me and he shut up really quick. I was really very curious as to why they all were here. "What are all of you doing here. Did someone die or something?" Most of them chuckled at my morbid joke, but both Tony and Lucas shook their heads in distaste. I do not know Tonys character to well yet, but as I have said before Lucas never gets my jokes. Or should I say he does, but never finds them funny.

Before I can even reply while I’m still thinking of what he says, he immediately says, “It’s just a j-joke.” “Where did you learn that joke?” “From movies," he replies, hastily. Just then, I hear the sound of bells ringing. "Oops, gotta go, Nina. Customers, yes, customers are here. Talk to you soon." "O-okay, bye." And with that, we both hang up. What the hell was that?

I asked Craig. Without even looking up he spouted off, "911." I smacked him upside the head. "Hey! Watch it, you don't need any extra holes in your leg!" he popped off rubbing his head with his free hand. "The number for the building, you idiot," I asked again. "Hell, if I know, just dial 911. I'm not sure if you'll get through though," he said getting back to his stitching. I sighed and tried the number not thinking it would work either.

the man nodded. “Alright,” said the facilitator. “Let’s rotate. Jokes, riddles, weird facts. Come on, unleash your inner campfire gremlin.” Katherine nudged Kingsley. “You better say something.” He looked at her with mock offense. “Is that a challenge?” “I’m saying you’ve been making bad jokes since 2009. Now’s your time to shine.” He raised a hand. “Alright. What did the zero say to the eight?” The group leaned in.

My smile widened as I mindlessly took off my jacket setting it down on the leather seat. I clung to Dalton chatting with him as Enzo thought it was the time for the like of the day as he called it. It was one of those stupid habits that we had going on as kids and it kinda stuck with us and Enzo was the one with the shittiest and corniest jokes. I braced myself to hear one of his dad jokes, Dalton was holding in his laugh at the eager look on his brother's face already. "What do you call a joke without a punchline?"

"Darling, not all illegal work is bad work. Maybe I'm extorting from the rich to give to the poor, you know? Eat the rich." "You're not Robinhood." "Haha. No, because I'm Jetthood." I winced and gave him a side-eye glare. "That was so bad I almost cried." "Oh, stop overreacting! Linda always laughs at my jokes, you know!" My brows rose. "Linda?" "Of course! Linda told me I joke well once when I was young, but I have to be sensitive when I have to drop the joke," he reminisced. "Why? You didn't joke at a serious time, did you?"

Bright and early the next day, I showed up at the office as usual. I ignored the whispers and stares, and made a beeline for my desk to start clearing it out. That was when Lily waltzed over, oozing fake sympathy. "Janice, can't you take a joke? "Come on, it was just a little toilet cleaning. Why'd you have to go and tell Mr. Hoffman you're quitting? No need to blow things out of proportion. "Look, I'll even dip into my own wallet and toss you a little extra cash to make up for it.