Ass Selfie

I begged Dylan Leveson three hundred and four times to take my dying dad on one last trip out to sea. Guess what? He bailed. I stood on the shore, watching the warmth fade from my dad's body, breath by breath—alone—while Dylan played Romeo in the highlands. Millie Stone—his forever flame—posted a cozy little selfie: [Far from the world, as long as I have you.] I accidentally hit like. Dylan popped up instantly. [How many times have I told you to leave Millie alone? Can't control yourself? We're getting a divorce!] Oh, the classic divorce threat. I'd lost count. [Cool. Divorce it is.]

On the night of our fifth wedding anniversary, I set the table, lit the candles, and waited on the couch for my husband to come home. As I scrolled through my feed to pass the time, a message notification popped up–from his old classmate, Susie Cartman. "Angela, thanks to Calvin's seed, I can finally have my own baby." The message came with a selfie–her grinning at the camera, holding up a medical slip in one hand, flashing a peace sign with the other. I touched my stomach, where our child was quietly growing. Calvin… Did you really think everything in life would always go your way?

While I was five months pregnant, my husband, Randall Harris, accompanied his assistant to the hospital for an IV drip.   He even posted a selfie with her on social media.   I called him, and he lied straight to my face, saying he was stuck in a meeting at the office.   When I confronted him, he fought with me, gave me the cold shoulder, and then went straight back to his assistant for comfort.   “Are you sure you don’t want to notify the baby’s father? The surgeon asked me. “After this surgery, you won’t ever be able to have children again.”  I closed my eyes.  “He’s dead to me.” 

My husband asked me if bras were more comfortable without underwire, and I was happy that he had finally become more mature. The next day, his assistant snatched the parcel I received in the mail, saying that it had the wrong address. That night, I saw Samantha Davis post on her social media, with the caption, “My boyfriend bought this for me. Isn’t it pretty?” It was a selfie taken in a hotel mirror, and there was a beautifully decorated box containing a bra lying beside her. So, as it turned out, it was not that men became mature later in life, it was that you weren’t the one they were willing to become mature for. Naturally, I gave the post a like and took a screenshot before sending it to my husband. "What a waste. You could have gotten an 20% discount if you bought the whole set."

Suamiku bertanya apakah bra tanpa kawat itu lebih nyaman? Aku hanya tertawa dan mengira akhirnya dia peka. Keesokan harinya, dengan wajah panik, asisten mengambil paket yang baru saja kuambil, sambil berkata kalau alamatnya salah. Malamnya, aku melihat postingan Susan Kumala di media sosial, dengan keterangan, "Hadiah dari pacarku, bagus nggak?" Foto itu adalah selfie di kamar hotel dengan suasana yang cukup romantis dan ada kotak lingerie cantik berhias pita di sebelahnya. Ternyata, pria itu bukan tidak mengerti romantis, melainkan apakah dia bersedia melakukannya untukmu. Aku menekan tombol suka di postingannya, lalu mengirim tangkapan layar itu ke suamiku. "Kalau beli satu set bisa diskon 20%, kamu memang nggak pandai menghemat."

TRENDING: Ang panget na si Yolly Peralta, nabuntis ng Campus Heartthrob na si Andy Pagdatu! Miserable ang buhay ni Yolly sa Sanchi College dahil laging tampulan ng tukso ang kanyang kapangitan. Pero dahil sa isang selfie, napalapit siya sa campus heartthrob na si Andy Pagdatu at naging kaibigan pa ito. Naging close pa sila sa close. Pero paano kung isang gabing ay malasing sila? Tapos magbubunga ang isang gabing karupukan ng dalawang linya sa pregnancy test kit at si Andy raw ang ama? Matatanggap kaya ni Andy na nakabuntis siya ng pangit? At ang tanong, totoo nga kaya na buntis si Yolly?

Ash is not some cute little omega, he can kick any Alpha ass if they mess with him. Even If the Alpha is his own mate.

This Thanksgiving, Elmer Fuller finally agrees to go on a trip with me. But when I wake up in the hotel, I don't see him anywhere. I spend the entire day desperately searching for him, only to stumble across a social media post from his first love. It's a selfie of her and Elmer having a cozy family dinner with her parents. The caption reads, "Someone's finally meeting the parents on Thanksgiving night. Mom and Dad can stop pressuring me to get married now!" Around her neck is the scarf my mother knitted for me before she passed. I left a comment. "Stop using my things to flirt with my husband. Take the scarf off—you can have him." Not long after, she posts an update. The scarf is shredded into pieces and tossed into a dog bed, with the caption, "What trash—too filthy even for a dog!" Elmer likes the post.

Born as the younger twin, his destiny in life is to live in his brother's shadow. His beast is strong, the bringer of chaos, and he follows nobody's lead. Ryder leaves home and disappears for almost two years after realizing that his first love had a dark ulterior motive. He starts working as a hunter, killing the supernatural. A near death incident that leads to personal tragedy brings him home where he becomes the Sire of his own lair and sets him on his path for revenge and ultimately finding his own Drakaina. I went back upstairs just as Megan came out of the bathroom sporting a pair of my sweatpants and t-shirt that was way too big for her. “I was going to recommend the sweat pants, it might be big around your waist but your ass will fill it out,” I said as she turned to glare at me. “Meaning what exactly?” she asked me. “It’s just that your ass… never mind,” I said. “Are you saying I have a fat ass?” she asked me. “No!” I said quickly. “Then what?” she asked me as she stood with her hands on her hips. “Just forget I said anything,” I said to her trying to hide my embarrassment. “No! Tell me,” she said adamantly. “Fine! Your ass is perfect for… no I can't, I'm going to sound like a pervert,” I said as the pillow flew across my face. “Ryder!” she yelled her face a bright red. “You asked,” I said and ducked at the shoe heading for my face. “You're such an idiot,” she said as she looked at me, “stop looking at my ass.” “Are you wearing my underwear?” I asked her as I saw the edge of my boxers above the sweat pants.

Der abscheuliche Verlobte hat mich mit meiner süß-verschlagenen Schwester betrogen, Susanne hat sich umgedreht und einen männlichen Bar-Publizisten zum Heiraten gefunden. Der Gesichtswert des Blitz-Ehemannes ist erstklassig, und sogar mit ihrem Erzfeind Schmidt haben Herr Schmidt einen Nachnamen ...... Susanne sagte, das müsse ein Zufall sein! Aber jedes Mal, wenn Herr Schmidt auftauchte, tauchte die Figur des Blitz-Ehemannes auf, woraufhin der Blitz-Ehemann erklärte: „Das muss ein Zufall sein!“ Susanne glaubte es, bis sie eines Tages das gleiche hübsche Gesicht von Herr Schmidt und dem Blitz-Ehemann sah. Susanne ballte die Fäuste, biss die Zähne zusammen: „Das ist ein Zufall?!!!“ Im Internet kursierte das Gerücht, dass das Schmidt-Kraftpaket, Herr Schmidt, sich in eine verheiratete Frau verliebt hatte. Der Schmidt-Klan widerlegte das Gerücht sofort: „Gerücht! Es ist definitiv ein Gerücht, die Familie Schmidt würde niemals eine Ehe zerstören!“ Doch dann traten Herr Schmidt mit einer Frau in Erscheinung: „Es ist kein Gerücht, meine Frau ist tatsächlich verheiratet!“