Banana Jokes Novels & Stories

she says, pushing me away and moving to the island's countertop. She picks up the banana in the bowl and shows it to me. Its the same size with the one in the fridge but not the one between my thigh. Fuck, , does she have to be so innocent. Doesn't she notice the bulge in my pants. "When I say which one, I meant the one in the fridge and the ones in the bowl," she said in defense and pointed to the bananas in the bowl. "So which one? Is this one still good" she asks, dumbfounded.

Is it fooling me? "Are you on drugs?" I ask seriously. "No. Why?” I frowned when he asked and took a small one from my plate. "Seriously? Haven't you eaten it yet?” he immediately shook his head. I closed my open mouth and faced him. "This is Maruya. There is a banana in it and it is coated with just a mixture of flour and orange food coloring. Then sugar is added to make it tastier." He nodded and took another one. "This is good. Is this one of Filipino food?”

She stirred it all into the smoothie, "Now, I got a high-protein smoothie...we can call it Rob's Big Banana Smoothie!" Stirring her finger, she plunged it deep into her mouth and sucked it clean, again. Still savoring the new treat, she took a big gulp from the glass. "Careful baby girl, you'll get a brain freeze." She giggled, "It's a new kind of banana cream...the male kind."

"Vangie?! Are you messing with me? Get over here, kid! Don’t you know how to respect your elders?!" Bert just laughed harder. "Age doesn’t matter!" Banjo sighed and rubbed his temples. "Sorry, Ate Vangie, that’s just how Bert is," he said apologetically. "Bert, enough!" Bert chuckled. "I was just joking, Vangie. Sorry." "And you’re still calling me that?!" she snapped. "Why? What do you want me to call you? Love?" Her jaw dropped. This guy is insane. He was handsome, sure, but clearly missing a few screws. She shot him a glare before focusing on Banjo, who looked like he wanted to disappear. She had no time for this nonsense—she was too old for childish games.

"Hey girl, you must be aware that I'm talking about fruit, right?" I bit my lower lip before rolling my eyes and nodded. "You're green minded." I smacked his arm. "Because you're rude!" "I wasn't referring to my Hungarian sausage! I'm talking about the bananas on my plantation in Davao!" I was stunned by what he said. I felt all my blood rush to my face. I feel my embarrassment but I prefer to pretend to be brave in front of him. I raised an eyebrow at him. "And why would I believe you?"

Anna teased. “And I guess that’s the horniness hormones speaking inside you right now,” Vivian teased back. “Is there such a thing?” Anna laughed, shaking her head. “Yes, in my special dictionary,” Vivian winked. “Whatever! Cheers to us!” Anna said, clinking her glass of champagne with Vivian's glass of fruit juice. The two friends burst into another round of laughter.

And unfortunately, I was that breakfast. But instead of being scared of his fierce expression, I couldn’t help but let my eyes roam over his bare upper body. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, and the only thing covering his lower half was a thin pair of boxer shorts. Yes, thin—because his jumbo banana was very visible. I swallowed hard, unable to take my eyes off the bulge between his legs. So, bananas really do come in that size—jumbo, indeed. Or maybe even bigger than jumbo.

Caught Babe who was carrying a tool to make table varnish for a customer's order. "Crap! Didn't you eat at work earlier? Why can't you stop by M*D, J*co, what about your lime feet?" Babe said. "Isn't there anyone selling fried bananas as delicious as Nyak's cooking, Be?" "What's your excuse! You usually drink it until it's cold. What are you doing? Feeling blue? Is there a problem with you?" Babe looked at Alif probingly. A middle-aged man who looks okay has already understood the behavior of his only single child.

"You have no idea–I was just joking around, but those disgusting guys went crazy asking me for your contact." The old me would have already been crying, asking her how she could do this to me, voice breaking. Not this me. My teeth clenched so hard they hurt. My whole body trembled with anger. I snatched the flyer out of her hand and slapped her across the face. Tara screamed, clutching her cheek in disbelief. "You hit me? I treat you like my best friend, and you can't even take a joke anymore?" Best friend? I let out a cold laugh.

she trails off shyly. “I wanted to, I offered. Please, is there anything? Just ask,” I answer brightly. It feels relaxed between us right now, and I like it, “anything at all?” “Yeah, erm, banana milkshake… and strawberries- no bananas- no strawberries- gah I don’t know!” Bethany ends up laughing at herself, “meat… bacon? Sausages… God, I don’t know what I want! My stomach is growling at everything I consider.”