Comedy Texting Novels & Stories

"This is my neighbor, Marlene Welch. Her ex-boyfriend ran off with a gold digger, so now she can't stand women who wear designer brands. Please don't take it personally." Though he said "please don't take it personally", his tone carried not the slightest reproach toward her. "Don't take it personally?" I chuckled coldly. "Mr. Crawford, I'm not a therapist. Her breakup has nothing to do with me, but slandering me? That I won't stand for. She'd better watch her mouth next time, or I'll have my lawyer send a cease-and-desist letter immediately." Marlene let out an exaggerated laugh. "Lawyer? Cease-and-desist letter? Oh wow, you're really getting into character, aren't you? A fake socialite lik

Maddie stayed with Andrew while he did his assignment, using the opportunity to reply to Audrey's texts. Audrey had made it a habit to text her like a hundred times every day, asking about her general wellbeing, and if she had eaten, also about how her day was going. She would also send encouraging texts like how she should hang in there and not give up, and the likes of it. There were also the texts she would send of really lame jokes. Maddie had long given up on her friend and her sense of humor. Her jokes were always well lame…

Next, I tackle the spam texts — annoying messages from unknown numbers, trying to sell me everything from weight loss supplements to discount vacations. Finally, I make my way to I*******m, where I'm greeted by a flood of messages from distant cousins twice removed. There are birthday wishes, holiday greetings, and random check-ins — all from people I barely remember, let alone keep in touch with. I smile politely, typing out brief responses to each one, trying to be friendly without getting too caught up in the drama.

He muttered, walking away. “I’ll text you, don’t keep me waiting.” He yelled out. I huffed. He was joking if he thought I was going to give him my number. What’s with everyone and acting weird?

I think I lost it in your room the other day. I hit send and instantly regretted that I didn't start with 'Hi, it's Chloe.' or something normal instead of vague text out of nowhere. Who texts like this nowadays? 'I don't have it, princess.'- Tyler I sucked in a deep breath as I read his message and smirked that he knew it was me. I knew he called me princess sarcastically but it felt nice to have a nickname even if it was given by my enemy who looks hot without glasses. 'Stop lying and give it to me tomorrow. I know you have it or it must be somewhere in your room.'

“Did he text you at all?” Alex did not recall seeing any messages this morning. He shuffled into his pocket for his phone. “I don’t think so. Let me check.” He flipped the phone open. There were no notifications on the screen to inform him that he had any messages, but he opened up his message folder anyway and sure enough there was a text from his friend Danny. “Huh, how did I miss that?” he said, looking over the text. It was a short message that read, ‘Yo, I ain’t gonna be in school today. Had a rough morning lol.’ Alex snickered as he read his friend’s text. “That was kind of an unearned ‘lol,’" he mumbled as he put his phone away.

My breath hitched. My fingers rushed across the keyboard as I texted him "I'm so wet, baby," while a shiver coursed through my body. Drew responded with "Aww" even before I got a chance to finish typing my message and sent a playful emoji. "Can we sext?" he asked, the words a direct invitation.

I groan inwardly and cursed at myself when I finally hit the send button. I stare at my phone and placed it down on my bed. "You are such a weirdo Thea. Such a fucking weirdo. Seriously." I sigh. "Now I regret sending him that." I stare at my phone and put it back down. "He will be reading it tomorrow when he wakes up. So embarrassing." I groan softly and started thinking of a reason why I sent him that message. Maybe drunk texting is the great escape to it. Yeah, blame it to drunk texting.

The phone dinged. BRIDGET: So you DID get laid I still was not going to answer that question. Not to Bridget. BRIDGET: {Musical Note Emoji} Al got laid! Al got LAID! {Musical Note Emoji} Gritting my teeth, I sent her a gif of a guy beating his head on the desk. ME: Drop it My phone dinged. It was another text from Bridget, but not in our direct conversation. In horror, I opened that message.

Who could be texting me this late at night? I glance at my cellphone and notice a few text messages. Tapping on the message app, a smiling selfie of Mario immediately pops up. However, my eyes widen in disgust as I realize the message contains a picture of an erect dick. It’s undoubtedly Mario’s, and the accompanying text reads, “See how much I miss you, Princess!” Below the gross image, there’s a video. I know I shouldn’t, but curiosity gets the better of me, and I reluctantly play it.