Cruelest Joke Novels & Stories

He predicted, holding back his laughter, another cousin. "And Manduca, of course, wanted to show that he wasn't as stupid as he was big-nosed, " continued the great-grandmother, " and replied: 'What are you thinking I am, homi? I would only cut the nose if I did it like this' and tchum! He ran the tool across the tip of his own nose, the asshole! Those who heard the narrative for the first time would laugh and think that the end was there. But the joke, which the great-grandfather insisted on narrating as the very truth, continued.

“Because it makes you laugh?” He clicked his tongue, a smile on his face. “You finally get it.” I rolled my eyes. “But ONLY you does it make laugh. Real jokes are so funny everyone around would burst into laughter, not them crying while you’re having a blast.” “A joke is a joke.” “…Your sense of humor is rotten,” I ended up muttering, hissing as his rough fingers tugged at the bandage wrapped around my ribs. The cloth peeled away sticky and damp, and the stench of dried blood hit my nose. I fought the urge to gag.

She hissed, “we need to leave immediately!” “Alright, alright.” I patted her arm. “I’ll just get the eggplants.” I turned and beamed widely at the worried girl. “Have you seen a brinjal this big and shiny?! It’s like—.” “A cock soaked in cum,” someone said. What...? My face feel deadpanned as it swivelled up to voice. An elderly man in Einstein’s age and appearance was bellowing in laughter at his own dirty joke, his round belly shaking uncontrollably.

The youngest of the children came and spoke intelligibly, " Uhummmmmmm, mommy, hurum?" Clara laughed as she finished her joke, and even then Otávio didn't laugh. " Did you get the joke?” " Yes. The youngest had a brick fall on his head at birth, right?” " Yes, " Clara still laughed. " And this is a joke? The baby had serious problems, and by the looks of it, sequels.”

“Now. The laugh. I heard you yesterday, when you thought no one was listening. It’s too high.” He stopped in front of me, tapping his own chest. “Elion’s was deeper. From here.” The gesture was intimate. Unexpected. I flinched. His jaw tightened instantly. “Try again,” he said. “I’ll tell you a joke. It’s a terrible one. Elion hated it.” He told it anyway... something painfully unfunny involving a squirrel and a priest. I forced out a weak chuckle, the sound thin and hollow. “No.” The word cracked like a whip.

He couldn't keep eye contact with me as he said that. And that was what made me just think that just maybe, he was joking. " It's not funny " I glared at him trying to pull off a prank on me with total fail. " Miss Shawn please calm down " " Calm down!?, calm down!??... You practically just pulled the worst joke in the history of comedy and you're telling me to calm down!?.. I ask you again, WHERE- IS- MY- BABY!!?" I snapped. This is in no way funny, and why is everyone keeping sober faces? Are they all in on this plan too? Is this what they occupied themselves with today? A way to hurt me?

"You know why you're the greatest alive?" "Huh?" I ask puzzled, "No?" "That's because you don't know anything!" He laughs, and I force a frown on my face, trying to purse my lips to keep my laughter in. "That has to be the driest joke ever!" I laugh mockingly after a few seconds and throw a shoe at him playfully, which he dodges and comes to carry me in the air, turning around real fast. "Stop!" I yell, hitting him and laughing, "Please stop!"

"Alex Cohen, who do you think you are? Why should I give you an explanation? What if I don't?" "Then I’ll just follow your way of doing things and beat you until you give one!" "Hahahaha...This is definitely the funniest joke I've ever heard in my life! Alex Cohen, looks like the decade or more of knowledge that you’ve learned didn’t change your fate. I’ll just hand over this task to my guys. I’ll make you realize profoundly that, no matter how armed with knowledge you are, when you run into a fist, it’ll hurt just as usual!"

Sienna couldn't hold back her laughter anymore. "She will not tutor you. She already has a lot to do," Jarek stated. "Stop fighting," she said between her laughter. Beta Arlick was Jarek's biggest roaster but their friendship was unbreakable just like their sons. The duo laughed along with her. 'Ugghh..I don't remember the last time we laughed like this," Bta Arlick stated, shaking his head. The murder had casted a dark shadow on everyone. Jarek nodded in agreement. Sienna was quick to figure out what they were talking about.

"But I'm the worst joke teller in this universe." "No, I'm pretty sure I am. Then you go first." "Well, what happens if a wolf falls into the washing machine?" "Uh, I have no idea." "It becomes a wash and a werewolf." He then makes a BA-DUM-CHA sound with his mouth and bursts into a wide smile. He must know he's pulled the worst prank ever known to mankind, or he wouldn't be so proud. Even though it's stupid, I catch myself laughing anyway. Laughing until the tears flow, falling like rainwater washing my face and arms. Crying until it's impossible to stop, impossible to forget what lies ahead.