Cruelest Joke Novels & Stories

Then, I saw what he did next, and it was pure madness. He laid the child Susie had given birth to right next to my body and cranked the sauna to an unbearable 180 degrees. My eyes were wide open in shock. Chester was trying to cook himself alive! The most shocking thing was that Chester, out of pure selfishness, had actually suffocated Susie's own child. I could only watch as the child was transformed into a mummy, just as I had been. At that moment, Chester pretended to scream, "Oh, my baby!"

she giggled at her own joke. Guila’s giggle rippled through the air, a moment of levity amidst the heavy atmosphere. Her joke, bizarre and unexpected, painted a vivid picture in my mind. I couldn’t help but smile at her words, the image she conjured absurdly amusing. It was as if, even in the darkest moments, she managed to find a glimmer of humor, a ray of light that pierced through the shadows.

" She giggled, the sound sharp and jarring in the quiet room. "That night in the warehouse, we put the call on speaker. She was barely conscious but still used every last bit of strength to scream your name. And guess what you told her? 'You can forget about going home.'" She broke into a jagged, hysterical laugh. "My brother, Jaxton, couldn't even listen anymore. He asked how you could be so cruel to your own fiancee. "It was him who took pity on Sylvia and specially brought in four Rogues, saying he wanted to let her feel the warmth of a real male. Sylvia wept like her soul was breaking the whole time."

Clutch asked. My head was pounding so hard from last night’s partying, I’d momentarily forgotten about the mouse under my eye, and who’d given it to me. “That’s strange,” I said, before pausing. “What’s that?” “I don’t remember one of the books I sent you while you were locked up being a joke book,” I replied. “Here’s a joke for you. Knock, knock…” “Who’s there?” “Go fuck yourself,” he said, before putting his helmet on.

"Man, what did you just say?" The guy scoffs and repeats. "Stupid slut!" CJ laughs. "Please tell me it's me you called that." The guy scoffs. "It's your cheap whore right there..." "That's funny bro!" CJ laughs and the Indian guy joins in and now they are both laughing. "See you around bro..."

“Ahahaha!” The third baby told the joke that was obviously funny to the fourth, ‘cause his lovely laughter filled the room and he realized it was the voice that had brought him up his feet. He watched the fourth fall on his back from his laughter, getting up again to listen to the third speak before crying out again.

"Did you bring the crack pipe?" "Left it at school." "That's too bad." "Yeah." "You know you should get it fixed." "The crack pipe?" "Yeah." "I'm embarrassed that I heard that." "It was a stretch, I'll admit." "Oh, Jay, there's this guy in my dorm that hangs out with the crew sometimes. Worst forced jokes ever. Ever.” "Let's go inside." "Yeah, OK." She talked as I held the door for her. "You've no idea how bad it is. He'd try to make a joke after a documentary on Human Trafficking or something. No sense of appropriateness." "You should tell him so."

They chuckle lightly at my joke and I'm glad it didn't go over their heads. “This is your first time meeting us”. One of the men says…I've genuinely forgotten his name and pack. “What do you think? Do you also think Fern is a dickhead?”. The Fern in question throws a butter knife, landing it perfectly between the man's hands on the table. “Shut up, Keren”. I can't tell if it's a joke but Keren doesn't flinch, just turns to me and shrugs in mock surrender. “I told you”. He says. The table chuckles again and I realize then that it must be a joke. What…a unique sense of humor.

No way. The two men immediately burst out laughing, not little chuckles, but full-blown, can’t-breathe laughter. Jefferey nearly doubled over while Joseph wasn’t much better. “The pranker got pranked,” Jefferey said, wiping tears from his eyes.

"No, I'm almost certain I am. So you go first." "Indeed, what occurs in the event that a wolf falls in the clothes washer?" "Uh, I do not know." "He turns into a wash and werewolf." He then, at that point, makes a BA-DUM-CHA sound with his mouth and breaks out into a wide grin. He should realize he spread the word about the most horrendously awful joke ever for humankind, if not he wouldn't be so glad. At any rate, despite the fact that it's moronic, I wind up chuckling. Giggling until the tears fall, falling like the water cleaning up and arms. Crying until it is difficult to stop, difficult to disregard what the future holds for us.