Dad Joke Examples

"You want me to fuck you like a whore, is that it?" His eyes darkened as they narrowed on me while I swallowed hard, realizing I had been backed up against the edge of the desk as desire zinged through me. "Yes," I answered, breathlessly. He leaned forward slightly and I could feel his hot breath on my skin. I tried not to shiver at the sudden chill that ran through me. My eyes flitted up to meet his hazel orbs, they were burning with hunger and a dark fire. “My kitten…” He purred, tracing his hand over my boobs. The rattling sound of his belt was what I heard next. Bunching up my dress to my waist, the first slap landed on my ass cheeks eliciting a moan from me. Grabbing my waist, he plunged his cock into me in one harsh thrust. A soft whimper escaped my lips as he slammed into me again. ** ** ** When Angelina Bryant finds out her boyfriend who uses insensitive words on her was actually a cheat, and her best friend was a backstabber, it coincides with the period a new neighbor, Kade Ashton moves into the mansion opposite their house. They're unable to deny their chemistry and so they give in to the fire raging between them. When Elva Ashton who is Angelina's new bestie finds out she is f*cking her father, hell is let loose. What happens when everyone they hold dear is against their forbidden relationship? Will their love die out or make a strong comeback? Warning : This book is an age gap romance filled with explicit erotic content. If you aren't comfortable with rated scenes, kindly drop it, it's not too late. However if you choose to read this, prepare to be blown away by Angela and Kade's story.

Luna's world is falling apart. Kailangan ng kapatid niya ng kidney transplant, at naibenta na niya halos lahat para lang mailigtas ito. Wala na siyang matakbuhan. She's about to lose everything when something unexpected happens sa ospital. Napagkamalan siyang ina ng anak ng isang mafia lord, and just like that, everything changes. Doon niya nakilala si Theo Montelibano. Cold, commanding, and dangerously intense. May isang kondisyon lang ito—gusto niyang maging yaya si Luna ng anak niya. Kapalit nun, siya ang magbabayad para sa operasyon ng kapatid niya. Luna agrees, kahit hindi siya sigurado kung tama bang makisangkot sa isang lalaking kagaya nito. Habang tumatagal, unti-unting lumalambot ang puso ni Luna sa bata. Pero mas nakakagulat ang epekto ni Theo sa kanya. The more she gets to know him, the more she sees na may lalim ang taong ito. Behind the control and power, may taong sugatan, may taong may tinatago. What started as a deal slowly becomes something deeper. Pero sa mundong puno ng sikreto, panganib, at mga kalabang hindi mo alam kung saan nagtatago, falling in love is never safe. Caught between her painful past, her confusing present with Theo, and the feud na posibleng ikasira ng lahat, Luna has to make a choice. Lalaban ba siya para sa puso niya, o iiwan niya ang tanging pamilyang minahal siya?

Hindi akalain ni Serena na ang simpleng pagtanggi niya na sapilitang maikasal sa kuya ng kanyang best friend ang magiging daan pala para maungkat ang isang rebelasyon tungkol sa pagkatao niya. Iyon din ang naging simula ng isang napakalaking pagbabago sa buhay niya. Mula sa pagiging tagapagmana ng mga Choi ay natagpuan niya na lang ang sarili niya na nasa isang napakahirap na kalagayan. Mula sa naglalakihan at mga bonggang runway platform na nilalakaran niya suot ang iba't-ibang designer items ay naroon siya ngayon sa isang maliit na entabladong nasa gitna ng madilim na club— sumasayaw ng malaswang sayaw habang suot ang maliliit na piraso ng tela na kaunti na lang ay maglalantad na sa kaluluwa niya. Mula sa tingin ng paghanga at sigaw ng admirasyon mula sa mga umiidolo sa kanya ay nauwi siya sa pagsalo ng mga malalagkit na tingin at mahahalay na salita mula sa mga lalaking hindi niya kilala na pawang mga hayok sa laman. Ang magandang katawan na dati niyang iniingat-ingatan, ngayon ay naging parausan na lang ng kung sino man ang may kakayahang magluwal ng pinakamalaking halaga para sa isang gabing impiyerno sa loob ng VIP room ng club. Paanong ang simpleng paghahangad ng kabutihan niya para sa sarili ay naging sanhi ng pagbaliktad ng mundo niya at pagkawala sa kanya ng mga taong mahalaga sa buhay niya? Ngunit sa kabila ng hirap at walang katiyakan ay pinili niya pa ring mabuhay. Kahit alang-alang na lang sa isisilang niyang anak sa lalaking nakasama niya sa isang gabing impiyerno na iyon. Sa lalaking hindi niya man lang nakikilala...

Trigger Warnings: This is dark, not soft romance. Expect BDSM, breeding kink, power play, rough sex, omega submission, orgasm denial, impact play, primal rut/heat, age-gap obsession, violence, and depraved scenes. Read at your own risk. ~~~~~ I spent two years grooming myself into the perfect omega for the man who rejected me: the deadliest SSS+ Alpha alive. Marcus Kane—my father’s best friend, old enough to be my uncle—wants no children, but only a woman dark enough to take his brutality. So I became her. If he craves a throat that swallows his cock or cum without complaint, thighs that spread for his waist to occupy, or a body begging through pain and filth… I’ll give it all. But he still fucks other omegas. Never me. Then danger stalks us when my father’s research puts a target on our backs and shadowy enemies are looming, leaving Marcus as our only shield. I had to move into his penthouse. And now, I’m done waiting. I will have him. The Alpha who swore he would never claim me is ready to burn the world before anyone takes what is his—ME!

Pinauwi sa pilipinas si Cassandra Monteverde ng kaniyang lolo dahil sa isang masamang balita, hindi siya nakapaghanda sa magiging buhay niya doon. Nag-iisa siyang apo nito kaya halos ikulong siya nito sa mansiyon, idagdag pa ang bodyguard niyang si Alejandro na grabe makabantay sa kaniya. Hindi niya alam ang gagawin lalo pa't istrikto din ito. Pero sa pagdaan ng panahon, hindi na niya namalayan na nagkakagusto na pala siya sa bodyguard niya, it's impossible! Pero paano nga ba niya pipigilan ang pagtingin niya kay Alejandro kung nasa iisang bahay lang sila?

Niat hati dari kampung ke kota untuk mencari pekerjaan, namun Rosela menghadapi nasib buruk hingga bertemu Vadlan Atmajaya yang merupakan seorang CEO muda. Dan anehnya mengaku sebagai suaminya. "Kemana saja kamu selama ini? Ayo, cepat pulang!" Vadlan "Saya gak kenal siapa Om! Pasti Om salah orang." Rosela. Bagaimana Rosela menghadapi situasinya saat ini, ketika mendadak terjebak sebagai istri palsu dari Vadlan? 

"Crawl to Daddy on your hands and knees, little whore. I want to see you beg for this dick before I split you open and breed that dripping cunt." * Daddy's Naughty Pet is a collection for readers who are tired of vanilla bullshit and want stories about people who fuck like their lives depend on it. Five chapters each of the raunchiest, most depraved scenarios that'll make you wet, hard, and wondering what's wrong with you for loving it. The stepmom who "accidentally" walks in on her stepson jerking off and decides to help. The personal assistant who schedules "meetings" that are really just fuck sessions on the conference table. The priest who breaks his vows with a parishioner in the confessional. The doctor who gives very hands-on examinations. The landlord who demands payment in pussy. The mechanic who test-drives more than cars. The massage therapist with wandering hands. The yoga instructor who teaches flexible positions for other reasons. The lifeguard who performs mouth-to-mouth that turns into face-fucking. The uber driver who takes a detour. Every character is controlled by their cravings. The married woman sneaking out to get railed by her ex because her husband's dick doesn't satisfy. The college girl who fucks her entire fraternity in one night. The businessman who keeps a submissive locked in his penthouse. These stories don't have plot—they have positions. No character development—just hole development. No emotional connection—just physical fucking that leaves them sore, sticky, and immediately ready for round two. Expect: Every depraved kink you can imagine and some you didn't know existed. This collection is shameless, filthy, degenerate smut with zero redeeming qualities. And that's exactly why you'll devour every word. Ready! Now flip that page like the good little girl you are.

⚠️Book Contains Explicit Content🔞 Gage didn’t make a habit of denying himself anything. If he wanted something… anything, he’d claw his way to get it, consequences be damned. But her? Thea? She was the only goddamn exception. Off-limits. Untouchable. A tempting little toy he had no right to shatter, yet that only made him itch to wrap his hands around her and play until she begged. For months, he’d fought the urge, keeping his distance but fate, the-smug-bastard, threw her to him and he, being the despicable-asshole he was, couldn’t say no. She’d walked into his life on his son’s arm, but that wasn’t an issue. Because he’d take her anyway. Steal her. Ruin her for anyone else. And keep her pinned beneath him for as long as it took to satisfy the hunger that’d been gnawing at him for months.  THEA ~ I kept hoping my boyfriend would look at me. Just once. Just enough to feel like I still mattered. But he never did. So I went looking for attention elsewhere… and somehow, “elsewhere” turned out to be his father. Gage. The man I should’ve stayed the hell away from. Gage wasn’t gentle, and he sure wasn’t safe, but he saw me and looked at me the way his son never did. And the moment I stepped toward him instead of away, I knew I’d crossed a line I couldn’t come back from. It was wrong. Forbidden. A disaster begging to happen. And yet… standing there in front of him, lonely and stupidly hopeful, I lean into the warmth he gave so easily, the attention he offered like it cost him nothing. I should’ve walked away. But I didn’t. And neither did he.

When you're homeless after catching your BF and BFF together, the next time you see them, they're screaming in public, your hot billionaire fiancé casually wraps an arm around you and says to your BFF: "Jenny, watch your mouth in front of your new mom... and your future little brothers." Jenny: 😱Dad!? Ex-BF: 🤡

Mae Madison has been a childhood lover of Raymond Wright. They had pictured themselves becoming a couple someday until disaster struck them. Will their relationship even survive? Mae's family business went bankrupt and his father died because of a heart attack. Raymond wasn't left out too in this chaotic disaster, as he lost his only sister to the cold hands of death. Mae was angry, he accused Raymond of leaving her when she needed him most, and before he'd explain himself, she broke up with him. Raymond became a shadow of himself, he needed her too by himself, but now she's long gone. He became cold, heartless and suffered from Schizoid Personality Disorder for the remaining days of his life. 3 years later, Mae came looking for a job in Monroe Groups to start over her crumbled life, but the truth won't be farther than that. It was Raymond's company, and he was the new CEO. “What happened when their cross paths, A Forgiveness, Salvation or more hatred to ensue between them?” “Will Mae even tell the cold CEO he had a son with her for the past 3 years after their separation?”