Dark Humor Dad Jokes Novels & Stories

I say with a sideways glance to my Dad who chuckled. “Hmm. Don’t they all. Well, the fucking glow-worm will soon have his light turned off, I am afraid, because I am going to ensure our whole pack sees him for what he is!” My Dad says with a snarl, making me look at him with a shake of my head. “A glow-worm?” I questioned, and he grinned. “You said the sun shone out of his ass. Doesn’t a glow-worm have a shiny ass?” he says, with a smirk, and I find myself laughing at his weird attempt at humor. But nod.

“This isn't me trying to bid you off, I'm just a concerned father eager to meet her daughter’s boyfriend.” Jesus. I heave a loud sigh and eventually give up. I guess letting him believe my supposed boyfriend got it for me is safer than the cemetery. “You know,” he smiles sweetly and leans back on his headrest. “I bet the economy is making your mama regret choosing me instead of the prince of England.” We burst into laughter. Dad jokes about so many things and his love life is one of them. Over time, I guess it's his defense mechanism. “When you thought Maria bought those items on the table, you had asked me a question that I can't get off my mind.” He pulls closer so he keeps eye contact wit

"You know I'm still bigger than you and won't hesitate to bend you over my knee." I erupted into a deep belly laugh. My dad was a good two inches shorter and thirty pounds lighter than I was, twenty years older, had just had a quadruple bypass, and he thought he'd whip me like I was five. The threat was humorous, but when I caught his eyes, the laughter died on my lips. "I'll go ask, Dad. Calm down."

"Don't you 'mom' me. What did you do to her? You better go fix this now, or I'm telling your dad this instant." "Dad's not home," I replied, confident that she couldn't harm me that way. Dad went out with a few old friends for the day. He said something about fishing, but knowing my dad, he and his so called 'friends' would take a jet to go fishing. Mom laughed hysterically, and I found the scene quite charming. Did I miss the joke? What was so funny that mom would be in such hysterics? When her laughter finally died down, she looked me directly in my eyes, and said, "Your dad's upstairs."

I looked at dad's horror stricken face for being referred to as an old man and I bit the inside of my cheek to stop myself from laughing at his expense. But then he touched his face as if searching for the 'wrinkles' and I just couldn't hold it in any longer and let out a loud puff of air that soon turned to snorty laughs. Dad looks over at me and whines. " See, now you have our daughter laughing at my expense." He works out a pout on his lips that I found ridiculous for him to do for a man his age. But that seemed to have melted mom into a puddle because the next thing I know she's brushing her uninjured fingers on his cheek before their lips attached. I cringe and if I had a remote this ve

"Rude! I’m a model citizen. I only commit crimes against humor. Not that I’d ever need to rob a bank!" "Crimes against humor," I chuckled. "That’s one way to put it. Your dad jokes are a whole different category." "Hey!" he said, pretending to be offended. "My dad jokes are basically an art form." He pointed at me like a teacher about to drop knowledge. "Why did the scarecrow get promoted?" I shot him a wary look. "Frank—" "Because he was outstanding in his field," he declared, laughter bubbling up as he reveled in his own joke.

“You don’t like cranberry sauce?” “No. It’s disgusting.” “All right, this confirms it. There must have been a mix-up in the hospital because you are definitely not my daughter.” Raven rolled her eyes. “Keep trying, Dad. Maybe one day you’ll come up with a joke that’s funny.” “People at work like my jokes.” I grinned. “You pay the people at work.” “Lanie likes my jokes.” “Yeah, I’m not going there.” She put a big forkful of food in her mouth and chewed away.

She burst out laughing. "Leroy come here quickly!" she said still laughing. My fiery redhead, blue-eyed father came rushing in and stood amused against the fridge. "What is it my love?" he chuckled. "This daughter of yours seems to be picking up more and more of your traits. Just now she actually made a funny joke!" My mom stopped chuckling and started packing the dishes away as she began to shake her head and softly mumbled. I on the other hand was absolutely confused as to what was going on and looked at my dad confused. He just shook his head at me and gave a chuckle.

“Dad, I do not blame you anymore. “Dad, please live well. Eat well, sleep well, and see the world. “Dad, no one will ever laugh at you because of me again. “Dad, I love you.”

" I gripped the phone, barely holding back laughter. Since we started going out, Seth had always known just how to charm my mom with little gifts and money. She saw him as some kind of hero and would always tell me to stay in line. She must have gotten some kind of sweet deal to rush over and play peacemaker without even bothering to ask what the whole mess was about. I kept my cool, did not bother with excuses or arguments, and just waited for her to run out of steam before I ended the call. The phone screen was still glowing when I hit up the client group chat and dropped the bomb. [Hey everyone, I'm thinking of leaving Hoffman Real Estate. If you need anything property-related down the li