Dark Humor Dad Jokes Novels & Stories

Because according to him that "I've been through hell and back. So, there's no reason for me to be scared at all," "What the fuck are you laughing, William," Brandon clenched his jaws. "Really, Brandon? You'll ask for help with your dogs? How pathetic," Dad laughed. "Scared that you can't oppose me just by beating?" Dad teasingly said as he shooked his head. "Thought you're a 'man' but... that was all a thought," Dad then burst into laughter as he held his stomach. He is literally crying due to excessive laughing. Brandon cracked his knuckles as he moved forward to Dad. And as I look at my Mom, to my surprise, she was just casually texting to someone.

Me landing on his back, both of us laughing. “He tickled me, so I had to get away from him.” I said as I laughed. “She turned on me. I had to avoid being tickled some how.” Jax grumbled. “I thought all, but one of my pups were adults, but it appears I was wrong.” Dad chuckled. “We can be both.” Jax stated. “I guess you can.” Dad agreed. “When was the last time you did something child like dad?” Jax asked. “Um….son, I’m in my 40s, what do you think?”

ADAM “Hey, Adam! I waited for you throughout yesterday, but you never came around” Dad quizzed over the phone. “I’m sorry, Dad. I was actually headed to your place, but something else happened” I apologized. “And what was that? Were you caught by a mob or something?” He teased. “ Dad, this is not the time for jokes, please. I’m in no mood for that” I tried my best to stay civil with him. Dad was really caring, but he usually found a way to lighten issues, no matter how serious they were.

I dialed my dad's number "Hello son" he said in a cheerful mood. If it wasn't for our physical resemblance, one would think that we weren't related because of his personality. He was one to always make jokes and laughed alot, I on the other hand, am the complete opposite. "Yes Dad, what was so important you wanted to talk to me about?" I said Rolling my eyes "Oh nothing, I was just feeling a little fatherly today" he said chuckling "Dad?" I'm exhausted already. I don't have time for his jokes now.

"That dude needs some chill, he couldn't call, he just made you wait" " For two hours, I would use such time to work on my codes, and I when I told dad what happened, he was like, he is a busy man, he is the CEO of a big cooperation blah blah blah" I mimicked his words, I wasn't happy with my Father, I have not been happy with him since this charade, or maybe long before that. "Your dad makes my dad who doesn't know who I am seem cool" she chirped, and we laughed at that, Alee had a difficult childhood and seeing her make a joke of it, I'm happy she's finally letting go.

Jorge says wiping away invisible tears making dad chuckle. "Fucker...I mean it." dad jokes with him, earning a playful punch on his left bicep and making everyone chuckle. "For real though... You guys are the best thing to happen in my life... besides the birth of my daughter. Please, dig in, there's plenty of food, plenty of drinks, and plenty of desserts for everyone. Dig in, dig in." he says motioning to the food and making everyone chuckle.

I laugh, this time the sound is more joyful and sincere, “dad, I’m not in labor, don’t treat me like a pregnant woman who’s about to push out a whole baby.” “Jokes on you, son, I never did that shit to your mom. If I ever told her that, she’d probably bite off my head faster than prying mantis does,” he mutters and laughs, keeping his voice quiet so I assume mom is somewhere near and he doesn’t want to be overheard. “And I really don’t need to listen to mom’s labor stories, dad. You’re getting distracted.” “Fuck, yes, you’re right,” he laughs. “Sorry, I don’t know why that always happens. Anyway, back to why you called - tell me more.” His voice is surprisingly soft as he speaks.

After enjoying breakfast with Carol and the rest of the staff, we found ourselves engaged in a lighthearted exchange. Dad sat across from me, his expression grave as if he had never cracked a smile in his life. "Hey, Dad," I said with a grin, using the title just to rile him up, "did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed or is this your default setting?" Dad glanced at me with a hint of annoyance, his expression remaining impassive, "No, Mrs. Costello," he corrected, his tone firm, "I prefer to maintain focus rather than indulge in unnecessary laughter and jokes."

The mere thought alone was sufficient to completely extinguish any lingering desire for enjoyment tonight. "If by 'living' you're referring to catching something more exotic than chlamydia in this cesspool, then I'll pass, thank you," I shot back, my words laced with a sharper edge. "You need to stop hanging out with Dad so much," he said, a sly grin forming on his face. Then, he burst into laughter. "Wait a sec, judging from those old pics of Dad, he was quite the chick magnet too! You really gotta unclench, bro. That stick in your ass isn't doing you any favors."