Dark Humor Dad Jokes

Avani is the last earth dragon in the world. Not only that, but he is also the last male dragon. The other three remaining elemental dragons, air, water and fire, are all females. Unless he mates with one of the other three dragons, the race of pure dragons will die out. Since he snubs the idea of finding a mate, refusing to allow anyone to claim him and therefore control him, he has taken over as protector of the forest. The hunters are always searching for supernaturals to force into their Arenas, a modern-day gladiator fighting ring. And now, they are capturing supernaturals to experiment on, creating a new race of hybrid creatures. Because Avani can shift his emerald-green scales into the black of onyx, those he saves have started to call him The Dark Protector. Merethyl is an elven princess. She and her brother, Yhendorn, are captured by hunters when her family is attacked, her parents slaughtered in front of her. She and Yhendorn are held captive, experimented on, until one day they find a way to escape. As they flee, Yhendorn is re-captured sacrificing himself to make sure Merethyl gets away. As she runs, the hunters chase her, trying to run her down. Avani hears her and flies to her rescue, killing the hunters that are after her. When he realizes that she smells better than anyone he’s ever smelled before, he knows he must get away from her. He cannot allow her to have the total control over him that claiming him would give her. But Merethyl has nowhere else to go and she needs Avani’s help to rescue her brother. Will Avani be able to resist the charms of the elven princess, or will he fall to her, claimed, making her his dragonrider?

🔥 Dark Sex Confessions 🔥 A sinful collection of taboo, dominant, and dangerously hot stories. Warning: 18+ only. --- “Is this what you wore to distract me, sweetheart?” he asked, fingers trailing up my inner thigh beneath the flimsy excuse of a skirt. “You knew exactly what you were doing when you walked into my office dressed like that.” I bit my lip, heart racing. “Maybe I just needed some... extra attention.” His chuckle was dark. Dangerous. Desperate. He pushed everything off his desk with one sweep, pulling me forward so my legs dangled open in front of him. “You’re about to learn your most important lesson,” he said, sinking to his knees between my thighs. “How to beg properly.” His mouth met my soaked panties, tongue pressing through the thin fabric until I gasped, arching against his face. He groaned like a man starved, ripping them aside and licking into me with a hunger that made me cry out. “God, you’re so wet for your professor,” he growled between licks. “Dripping for the man grading your papers.” My fingers tangled in his hair as he sucked my clit into his mouth, tongue lashing me like punishment and reward all at once. My thighs shook, heat building fast and deep. “Come for me, right here, right now,” he ordered. “And then I’m bending you over this desk and fucking every A+ out of that tight little body.” And I did. Exploding on his tongue, moaning his name like a filthy prayer— Knowing this was just the beginning of the most sinful semester of my life.

After she was sold to the traditional medical center at age 12, Renae Hart survived the life threatening training and became an healer. On the night of her 18th birthday and first shift, she encountered a wounded wolf and saved his life. The next morning, Jennifer Tower, the Beta's daughter discovered the wounded wolf and impersonated Ranae as the healer who treated him.Using the lives of her friends, she threatened Renea to keep quiet as she took her place. A few months later Renae found out that she is pregnant. Out of shame, she fled the pack. But future has something different for her.

The evening wind and tranquility wiped away all the chaos that had been filling my mind for the preceding few days. It felt as though I had been granted a second opportunity at life, akin to that of a newborn kid. I'd always wanted to feel that way for so long, and that night was a very captivating time for me to begin with. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, feeling the breeze brush against my skin as I relived all the horrific events that had occurred. All the turmoil that seemed to escape reappeared in an instant. Tears rush down my cheeks as I feel my body shudder as a dreadful understanding dawns on me. It feels as if every second of my existence has been squandered, and as if the sense of despair and worry has taken over the little strand of sanity that exists for me as it pours through my veins and fills my spirit to the core. "You've got this. All you have to do is think that you can," I said to myself persuasively. "You can't, you just can't. You'll never be able to do it, and you'll have to live with the repercussions for the rest of your life," a familiar voice said. My senses begin to be overpowered by numbness. And with that, I realized I could not go away. The reality that this is my fate hits me like a ton of bricks. As I stretched out to wipe away all my tears, I felt thick moisture on my fingers and was terrified to find blood instead of tears. I felt as if my world was spinning before I could even scream. Then, all of a sudden, darkness crept inside me. And eventually sends me to oblivion.

After a one night stand with a mysterious stranger. Evelyn Rosé, twenty five years old and mother of one, came back to her City to live a new life but under the fear of her son getting snatched away from her. She had a bad history with her family and her fiance but came back strong with the love of her son occupying her heart. But then she met her new cold Billionaire Boss who looked so much like her son and whom her son kept calling 'Daddy.' "Shush, don't call him that." "But he is my Daddy." Her son pouted. Raphael Theophilus the cold-hearted unbend Billionaire smiled at her son. He remembered Evelyn Rosé but she doesn't remember him.

A few hours before her wedding, Elowen ditches her cheating fiancé and the entire Guerra family, then ends up in a club for a one-time stripper gig where she meets Dante. Enthralled by her, Dante presents her with a contract. Elowen thinks she can use this to her advantage - steal his money and skip town, where the Guerra family won’t find her. So, she signs the contract and gives up her virginity to him. Unbeknownst to her, Dante isn’t just some random rich guy. He’s her ex-fiancé’s uncle and the most powerful man in the city. He’s used to getting what he wants, and he wants Elowen, who had just signed a contract with him. What happens when she finds out his true identity and the fact she can never escape the Guerra Mafia?

Michael Roy was an ordinary student, & was very poor. Because of his poverty, his so called girlfriend left him & insulted him. his classmates also humiliated & looked down on him. But who knows, after reaching home one day, he received a letter from Russia stating that it was from his dad after so many missing years would change his whole life? "my son. Your dad is the most powerful person of this country. I know you will have a lot of questions. you have suffered a lot. But now i will make sure that you won't find a single problem in your whole life. I am transferring 10 million dollars for a start as your daily livings. Just make me a call if you need more." Then the story of Michael started suddenly from an extremely poor guy to the richest kid of not only his city but of a whole country. He bought houses, few extreme high model cars, visited most reputed places & top most services. The most important thing, not only his girlfriend & classmates, he stunned many most reputed people of his city Arizona & other cities too. This story describes the journey of a young man's poor lifestyle & his lavish lifestyle. It also describes how he handled billions of money & became the greatest of all.

Grace Rue, surviving from all sort of disasters fate brought upon her, works as a sex worker in the famous club, 'Paradiso'. Adapting to this lifestyle, finding it the only way to control men's desires, she considers herself a queen but gets an offer from a mafia, Levi, to become his sex partner.

My parents were award-winning teachers, having nurtured countless outstanding students. However, I had always been the last in line, failing every single class. After yet another gentle warning from my homeroom teacher, my dad finally snapped. "How did I end up with a kid this dumb? You're deliberately trying to torture me, aren't you?" He disappeared for three days. When he returned, he had a boy with him. "From today on, Josh is the only true child of this family. You are no longer allowed to call us Mom and Dad. "Get out! You'll only earn the right to be my son once you can actually pass your exams." The next time I saw them was at the hospital during a check-up organized by their school for all the staff. The head of guidance recognized me immediately. "Yale? Isn't this Shane from your family? "He works here now. And Josh's condition, there's hope for him! You should have him contact the new Dr. Cunningham right away." Seeing me in my white coat, my dad's expression shifted again and again. "This kid… switched jobs and didn't even tell me." I subtly used my coat to cover the badge hanging on my chest. It read: Department Director: Asher Cunningham

When my stepsister, Kate Lawrence, is poisoned at the full moon ceremony, my father, Jack Blackwood, condemns me at once, convinced that I am the one behind it. He clamps silver chains around me and drags me into the manor's dark underground cell. His eyes burn hatefully as he snarls, "You wretch! How could I have a daughter like you? Rot in here!" I drop to my knees on the cold floor and try to explain, but the sentence he throws over his shoulder as he turns away snuffs out the last of my hope. "Even if she dies in there, no one shall go in! Whoever lets her out will die with her!" The cell severs the mind-link completely, so no one hears me screaming. Seven days later, he finally remembers me, not knowing that I'd already died on the fourth day when the silver burned through to the bone.