Dark Humor Jokes No Limits Novels & Stories

She hissed, “we need to leave immediately!” “Alright, alright.” I patted her arm. “I’ll just get the eggplants.” I turned and beamed widely at the worried girl. “Have you seen a brinjal this big and shiny?! It’s like—.” “A cock soaked in cum,” someone said. What...? My face feel deadpanned as it swivelled up to voice. An elderly man in Einstein’s age and appearance was bellowing in laughter at his own dirty joke, his round belly shaking uncontrollably.

My body suddenly jerked as I busted out in laughter. My hand gripped my chest, stopping myself from choking. I knew Brooks was funny, but I never knew he was this much of a clown. He almost made me believe his shit. Almost!! And trust me when I said he was a real clown, because why was he also laughing. He fucking joined me in laughing. He knew he had just told me the joke of the century. “Did you change profession?” My laughter faded into the air.

Is he mad or something to ask me that stupid question? "Ahh!! I'm sorry bro!, I totally forgot, you know nothing about women" he laughed Awkwardly "You don't even have a wife or even a girlfriend. you haven't even been in a relationship before" "Honestly I feel bad for you bro" he laughed. "I mean, you're 37 years old , still no-" "One more word, and I'll detach your tongue from your mouth" I said coldly. "Chill bro, I mean you're already chilly but, calms. I was just joking around" he rubbed his arms as if feeling cold all of a sudden.

It felt good—light, like a breath of fresh air in this park where the wind rustled the leaves around us. We sat on the bench after that, side by side, our shoulders almost touching. He started telling these silly jokes—the kind that weren’t even funny, just dry and ridiculous, like “Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.” Corny as hell. But I laughed anyway, hard and genuine, because the real joke was how bad they were, how he delivered them with that straight face like he thought they were gold. It warmed me up inside, chasing away the chill for a bit.

Definitely. "Nope!" the man replied, cheerful and oblivious. "So, two olives were walking down the street. One fell behind. The other turned and said... 'Olive you!'" A beat of silence. Then came that laugh, loud, unfiltered, like he was the funniest man alive. I gritted my teeth. That laugh again. Like nails on glass. How can someone sound so punchable through a screen? Dante didn’t even respond this time. Just silence on his end. I imagined him pinching the bridge of his nose. Honestly, I was about to do the same. Then he let out a slow breath. "You’ve been banned from joke privileges."

A childhood visual of the old witch from the library Hansel and Gretel book pops into my head and only increases the giggles I exude. “I hope not, I’m barely grown, and she might add me to tonight’s menu. I’m too big for an oven!” I point out between snorts of stupid laughter and Meadow caves and starts giggling too, lightening our whole mood. I guess the tension and the heavy weight of this journey has us strung out enough, that even a lame joke like this has enough power to break the strings and have us erupt. It’s needed, between us, this bonding over awful jokes.

Easter frowned trying to think but then shook her head negatively. "An impasta!" With that, they both started laughing making Sarah stare at the man dumbfounded. She heard this joke trillion times and she was sure this man must have used it many times as well but he was still laughing like a hyena. Darren looked up finding the woman he wanted to meet standing there with ridiculed expression openly telling him how lame his joke was. Sarah turned away from him grabbing the bags but watching her struggling with them he chuckled lowly standing up and making Easter look at him.

A message bubble lit up under his name, cheerful and oblivious. Just another one of his dry, stupid jokes—something about his dinner being so terrible he was convinced the restaurant was trying to assassinate him with undercooked chicken. He'd probably attached one of those ridiculous GIFs he was always finding, something animated and silly that was meant to make me laugh.

I could literally die if I fuck up more than I’ve been doing…but, I can’t tell him that. “I’m here, okay? No matter what, you have me.” He looks me right in the eye, assuring me tenderly with a smile this time. “But damn, you really do look like shit right now, and when was the last time you used deodorant?” His unconventional joke in my time of sadness makes me break into laughter. It wasn’t funny but it was whatever it was and it makes me laugh. I just needed to laugh. It rolls out of me effortlessly, like everything was with Adam. While I choke on my saliva, he watches me, amused for the duration of my chuckling.

It might help if I get lost…or accidentally set the apartment on fire,” I teased, getting a hint of a smile that he buried by denying. "Or you'll probably starve the poor animal to death," he returned the joke, narrowing his gaze, making the lines of expression visible at the corners of his eyes. Since the incident in my bathroom we acquired the ability to joke when it came to Alzheimer's. Black jokes made the situation less overwhelming. He was the first person he could joke with like this. My friends didn't like it when he said things like that and found it cruel; what they didn't understand was that at the end of the day the one who would live in limbo would be me, and taking it so seriou