Dark Humor Jokes No Limits Novels & Stories

“But, I mean, if you’re that desperate, bro, I don’t mind jerking you off. Charity work. For old times’ sake.” I stared at him. Deadpan. For a full three seconds. Then I said, voice flat as asphalt, “Even as a joke, that wasn’t funny.” He threw his head back and howled while Ellis choked on his beer, coughing and laughing at the same time, tears actually forming at the corners of his eyes. It wasn’t fun being the fucked-up sideshow. I took one last drag then crushed the joint out in the ashtray so hard the glass cracked.

They couldn't believe the daughter they were so proud of would do something so… filthy and immoral. George was shaking in rage. He stepped ahead, trying to confront Zack, but he shoved George into the shoe cabinet. "Ms. Sampson's villa doesn't let homeless people in. I can't believe you're her father-in-law. Look at you. Even a homeless guy wears better than you." Zack scoffed. Mockery was oozing from his tone. George was groaning in pain, and color was draining from his face. I held him and called the maid to help us out. This was an emergency.

Right before me, they began to lock lips, making me scrunch up my face in disgust. I waited for them to be done and when they were, I spoke up again. "I need to pee." I said, making all of them burst out into a round of hysterical laughter. "Go on. Don't let us stop you." Jordan mocked. "Just let it all out." Steve said, in between laughter. "Or you need to...strip, first?" Their laughter got even louder with every stupid joke they made, and I was slowly loosing it. I was tired of being laughed at and ridiculed by these bunch of assholes.

My smile widened as I mindlessly took off my jacket setting it down on the leather seat. I clung to Dalton chatting with him as Enzo thought it was the time for the like of the day as he called it. It was one of those stupid habits that we had going on as kids and it kinda stuck with us and Enzo was the one with the shittiest and corniest jokes. I braced myself to hear one of his dad jokes, Dalton was holding in his laugh at the eager look on his brother's face already. "What do you call a joke without a punchline?"

I answered him back making him regret his joke. He knotted his brows as I uttered and shook his head. "You can never take my jokes, Can you? You are a boring man. Everyone in my agency loves my joke and burst into laughter, especially girls. But you my friend don't even try to smile at them." He started with his complaint first before he disclose the matter he was mentioning before. "So what? It's my choice whether I want to laugh or not. Plus your jokes are not funny. Girls laugh at your jokes cause your money makes them laugh. Otherwise, you would have been the king of bad jokes." I said, resting my ass on the maroon couch.

He laughs so hard that he doubles over, holding his stomach. “Oh fuck, the Moon Goddess has a sense of humor, doesn’t she?” he laughs. “What the fuck is so funny?” I snarl, furious that my brother, who rarely fucking laughs, is laughing at me like this is the best joke he’s ever heard in his life. He stops, his body still bouncing with silent laughter. “Oh goddess, you don’t see it. You’re so fucked up over this, you don’t see it, do you?” he asks me.

“You’re like a sister to me. So, fuck it. Any other girl? Hell no.” I couldn’t help but laugh, the absurdity hitting me full force. “You know what? You’re hilarious, Nelly. I remember when you were still so dry, making those lame jokes about ‘six seven’ and cracking up when no one else found it funny. Good old days.” “Huh? My jokes were actually funny, girl.” She poked my side playfully, feigning offense. “Your humor—and everyone else’s—was definitely broken.” “Yeah, sure,” I dragged out, giggling. “Six-seven,” I teased again, mimicking her old deadpan delivery.

Mentally exhausted and depressed, Damian fell silent after the first hour. His knowledge of jokes was severely lacking. No matter what he did, the cyborg could not meet his party members’ standards. It was too difficult to be a clown. “It’s in the delivery,” Zen chuckled, patting Damian on the back. “Sometimes people find others funny when they aren’t intentionally trying to be. Just be yourself.” The solid advice lifted Damian’s mood a little, and the two nerds chatted, exchanging what they knew to update the gamer guide while travelling to Red Hood’s house.

“Now. The laugh. I heard you yesterday, when you thought no one was listening. It’s too high.” He stopped in front of me, tapping his own chest. “Elion’s was deeper. From here.” The gesture was intimate. Unexpected. I flinched. His jaw tightened instantly. “Try again,” he said. “I’ll tell you a joke. It’s a terrible one. Elion hated it.” He told it anyway... something painfully unfunny involving a squirrel and a priest. I forced out a weak chuckle, the sound thin and hollow. “No.” The word cracked like a whip.

Rachel teased, smirking at him as she edged away from him slowly and he slowly approached her, showing her the tickle hands. "Not tickles please not tickles," Rachel muttered as she started to pick up the pace and he followed her with his full strength as she sprinted off her feets. At this point, the MC who was some comedic industry plant was telling some lame joke to people who were too rich to care, but willingly smiled and laughed for the camera. Made sense, because this event was being broadcasted in every station that mattered. "And what on God's earth brings a smile to your face? because I sure as hell know it ain't his dry as sahara jokes that make me thirsty and not even in the nice