Dirty Little Johnny Jokes Collection Novels & Stories

Jake replied with a grin. “You’re a sick bastard. Your dick is going to fall off one of these days,” Johnny said. “Oh,” says the one who can’t leave—umm… what’s her name? Aline?” Kevin teased. “Leave Aurora out of this, fuckhead,” Johnny threatened. They all laughed.

“Uhm, my car is this way. It’s pretty small, sorry. I don’t usually drive lumberjacks around, so I got a compact.” I laughed warmly. “So that’s all I am to you, huh? A lumberjack?” “I guess you would be more of a timber wolf?” she said, tapping her chin with the tip of her finger. “And you say I tell bad dad jokes?” I asked incredulously. “That one blows Fur Sure Solutions right out of the water.” Marley giggled. “What? I thought it was clever.” “The joke, much like you, was very clever,” I said indulgently. “But it was also very bad.”

“Man, I don't know. You probably need therapy or some shit like that.” You know what was funny? While no one could notice, I was fucking boiling inside as Johnny said all this. No, I wasn't pissed off… I could take a joke. What infuriated me wasn't what Johnny said to me. Come on. We had been friends since we were kids. We did everything together. It wasn't that.

"You think? Well, I don't have the big boobs you'd expect, but at least I'm very loyal. In fact, I've been with you all my life. You should think about it." "You know the answer." Alby replied looking amused. Logan shook his head slowly. "Why? Got the one I just forgot." "Your fault," Logan's eyebrow rose. "What did I do wrong?" "It's your fault that you have a tail between your thighs. You... Can't wake me up." The two grown men laughed. Typical jokes between them are always vulgar. Never far from the crotch. It's actually normal, especially if there is Keenan, it's been confirmed that their dirty words will continue.

"Oh yes, 'Shlong John' as Mimi calls him." Ayla throws her head back and laughs whilst Mira clears her throat. "Bloody hell, I almost choked to death on my own saliva. How can we possibly forget Schlong John? It was literally right there…in my face, just staring at me in all of its glory. There was not one hair on that thing." Wy rubs his jaw and grins widely, "Yeah, I should call him. Johnny was a good time, and I sure as shit couldn't walk straight for days after that beast."

This is the most goals joke as long as I've heard. "You're kidding, right? I swear! That's funny. Wow! If you join to stand up comedy, I make sure you can be the winner." "Na," said Mommy quietly. Chiko still showing his smile. "I'm serious and this is not a joke. You can tell the difference too, right?" Shit!

He made me laugh, a genuine, bubbling sound that felt good after the fear. “Your turn,” he challenged, when he finished. “Tell me a joke. Something to keep the darkness at bay.” I thought for a moment. “Okay, okay… What do you call a fake noodle?” He raised an eyebrow, a slight smile playing on his lips. “What?” “An impasta!” I delivered the punchline with a flourish, and he actually laughed, a deep, booming sound that warmed the room. “Alright, alright, that was a good one, for a rookie,” he teased. “My turn. Why did the scarecrow win an award?”

she suggested while the rest just stared at the screen, or rather at me, crowded together. "I would rather take the matter in my own hands,” I muttered, low enough so that the rest didn't hear. Apparently, they still did. "Pun intended," my dad joked and Alpha Chris secretly gave him a high-five behind their wives' back. C’mon, Dad ! Mast*rbation jokes ? Seriously ? No one could feel as embarrassed as I did at the moment. It rivaled the ultra embarrassing bathroom meeting we all had a few days back. Mom glared at my dad who shrugged while Alpha Chris grinned. Sigh ! Like Beta, Like Alpha.

Johnny sighed dramatically. “Fine.” Five minutes later he regretted his decision. The teacups spun faster and faster while Grace laughed uncontrollably. Johnny gripped the side. “This is a terrible idea.” Grace laughed harder. “Relax!” “I’m going to throw up.” Grace leaned forward and spun the wheel harder. Johnny groaned. “You’re evil.” When the ride finally stopped Johnny stepped out looking dizzy. Grace doubled over laughing. “You should see your face!” Johnny shook his head. “I trusted you.”

John called out, heavily baptised with brown shit. "Oh? You must have a lot of enemies, John." Eliot joked, I laughed. Loud. Very loud, sharing a gaze with Eliot. Laughing some more. "I had that very same thought!" "Of course, look at him!" He laughed too, the both of us falling unto eachother. Everyone watching us, joining our laughter after glancing properly at John. Then themselves. Us. "I cannot believe all of you, I cannot." John complained, smiling too. "And you too Sir, you're the worst. Look at you, your teeth are the only thing preserved right now."