Dirty Little Johnny Jokes Collection Novels & Stories

He says proudly, looking to his left at his friends. I run the tip of my tongue over my top teeth, leaning over the bar and I look the sleazy prick right in his poo brown eyes. "Show me your dick, and if it's the biggest bastard I've ever seen, I'll let you touch my tits," I say in a cruel tone knowing full well that he has a small dick. It's been spreading around the clubhouse like a plague. He's the butt of many small dick jokes and the prick is too slow to realise they are all about him.

It felt good—light, like a breath of fresh air in this park where the wind rustled the leaves around us. We sat on the bench after that, side by side, our shoulders almost touching. He started telling these silly jokes—the kind that weren’t even funny, just dry and ridiculous, like “Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.” Corny as hell. But I laughed anyway, hard and genuine, because the real joke was how bad they were, how he delivered them with that straight face like he thought they were gold. It warmed me up inside, chasing away the chill for a bit.

"I mean, to do that in public!" Missy smiled finally and nodded. "Yeah, it looked like they were having some fun!" Matt nodded, believing that their secret was still safe. Danni winked slyly at Mike, who had to stifle a laugh. "I've got a joke," Matt said suddenly, "If any of you fuckers is interested." "What is it, the size of your dick?" Emma quipped. The girls and Mike laughed as did Matt with a grin on his face. "Don't make me get the monster out of the cave, it might knock you into the river!"

I grabbed my phone eventually and started searching After I get Jax hair And then what? Tell the winner congratulations, you knocked up your student or your stepsister? My stomach rolled hard and I swallowed against the nausea. "Three loads from the same dick today and I am still pretending this is not completely fucked," I whispered to the dark room, laughing a little even though it came out shaky. The laugh turned into something thicker, eyes stinging because yeah, it was funny in the most pathetic way. Here I was, pregnant by who knows who, fucking my stepbrother while my mom cooked dinner downstairs, leaking cum like some bad porno, and all I could do was crack jokes so I did not start b

I snorted before I coughed up some more smoke. "I wish you would." John laughed. "Lord, John, you shouldn't say shit like that." "Why not? You can't knock it until you try it." John winked at me and started to burst out laughing; he was dim. What would Pepper think if she heard her son talk like this? He better be glad it was just me that heard him. Not everyone would be as understanding when it came to nelly jokes. "Stop bumping your gums." I shook my head at him with a smile.

Bright and early the next day, I showed up at the office as usual. I ignored the whispers and stares, and made a beeline for my desk to start clearing it out. That was when Lily waltzed over, oozing fake sympathy. "Janice, can't you take a joke? "Come on, it was just a little toilet cleaning. Why'd you have to go and tell Mr. Hoffman you're quitting? No need to blow things out of proportion. "Look, I'll even dip into my own wallet and toss you a little extra cash to make up for it.

The morning buzzed like a caffeinated circus. Lola’s nerves tangoed with excitement, each step toward the glass doors promising unknowing imminent disaster. The first time I met Adrian Blackwood, I spilled iced coffee on his shoes. Not just any shoes. Leather shoes so polished they reflected my panic back at me. “Oh my God,” I blurted, already crouching. “I swear I’m not usually this clumsy. That was a lie. I am clumsy. But not like this. This is… advanced clumsiness.”

no reason even after it looked like they just showered.” The bigger one said as they all laughed. “I mean really how is it possible that you come out the shower with soap in your ears, and you still stink?” The smaller one said as she gagged. As the other two laughed so hard they were starting to cry and the middle one had the loud laugh like a banshee. It was contagious because I found myself chuckling at them. “Hey, can I borrow your ketchup bottle?” The smaller one asked me. “Yea, sure.” I answered handing her the bottle from my table. “Thank you, and I want to apologize for my loud ass cousin they have no home training. I know you couldn’t study in peace with Shawna laughing like a

Johnny shouts back at Steve, accompanied by a strong southern accent "CLEAN, MY ASS!" Steve yells back at Johnny as his anger grows, "You bounced the cue ball off my stripe. MY DAMN BALL MOVED!!, that's a foul, which means YOU LOST! Be a damn man, and give me the 20 bucks you owe me!"" "I ain't givin' you a damn thing." Johnny fires back angrily "T-tha - that's right, we ain't giving y-you shit." Sully slurs as he manages to finally get the words out of his mouth.

We looked back and Jenny wasn't around. "We're going to die, you know that right?" Benny asked me. "I'm sure I'll be a vampire tomorrow." I replied. "A zombie..." He said "A zombie prostitute!" We both spoke together and started laughing. It was an inside joke in our group, some years ago I listened to a song called Zombie prostitute by Voltaire with a very funny clip, so always when we said we were going to die, the joke was: come back as a zombie prostitute. I wiped the tears that were running from the corner of my eyes and walked to my bed.