Dirty Little Johnny Jokes Collection Novels & Stories

someone yelled. "I won’t shut up until someone answers!" Lucas shouted back, clearly enjoying the attention. "We don’t know and we don’t care, so shut the hell up, Lucas!" another voice barked. "Wrong! It’s called Lemon-aid! Get it? Like the drink?" The groan this time was even louder. "Dad jokes are never, ever funny," Elodie muttered, shaking her head.

Roy couldn’t help it and he fell to the seat, laughing. He knew the punch line of course, but it still made him double over, literally. Bryan nudged him with an elbow, even as his smile widened at the picture he created, “Finish the joke.” He strived to control his laughter, “So John takes a deep breath and says to the Jinn, “I want all Jack and Jim to be with me because they are my only friends.” He bit his lip to stop his laughter from escaping his lips, “And poof! Jack and Jim were returned to the island. Jack with his clothes off and Jim with a slice of pizza in his hands. And the Jinn says, ‘there you go. You all got your wish.”

Tony was right behind him as he spoke. "Did you just audibly say the word 'gasp' at me? Hahahaaaaaa, dork! Hmmm, might I suggest something else to be blown?" Tony couldn't help but crack a wide smile when he heard Dillon snort and chuckle. "For fuck's sake, haha! You did not! Ugh, raunchy 'dad jokes' now? Ahaha!" "Well, half-dad joke, haha." Tony grabbed Dillon's proffered hand and hopped down the last few feet of the incline onto the ground.

His lips curled into a cruel grin. “Oh yes. Fake. An act. All so I could squeeze more money out of you. But who would’ve thought your useless self couldn’t provide any? And your father…” His laugh was bitter, sharp. “Your father went bankrupt. So pathetic. That’s what you are. Pathetic”. ------- That sentence gave me chills as I hurried out of the apartment, my feet carrying me like I was being chased. Shame washed over me as his twisted laughter echoed in my ears. Tears streamed hot down my face.

I lick my lips, my mum and johnny share a look "I was kidding jeez" "Okay then, I'll go wash off okay " johnny and I watch my mum till she was out of sight "Okay back to business" I turn to Johnny "come on just tell me" "No, I won't, you know exactly what I want to hear" "Fine!!, Johnny is so smart that I wish I could have his smart" "And.." "Sint push it" sighs "unlike me who isn't even as smart as a rat" "Isn't that much better"

she wailed uncontrollably, frantically clawing at Vanessa's clothes. Everyone in the room was stunned. "What are you doing?" Vanessa screamed as she struggled. "Let go, you insane woman! Investments always come with risk! How is it my fault if you lost money?" "Investments?" I scoffed coldly. I pulled out a thick stack of bank statements from my bag and slammed them onto the dining table. "You call these 'investments', Vanessa?" I glanced at the male colleagues who had been cracking vulgar jokes at the table earlier and said loudly, "Over the past six months, Vanessa has used Mr. Studdard's name to set up three investment group chats and scammed nearly six million dollars from everyone.

“Yo, Mike…” “What?” Mike whisper-yelled. “I’ve heard the garage is haunted. You won’t piss your pants this time, will you?” “Say that again and you’ll be the one pissing your pants.” The lights flickered as if on cue and Mike stilled on the stairs, eyes widening. Johnny burst out laughing, and Mike suppressed the urge to choke the bastard before pivoting on his heels. It was a one-time thing where the idiots thought it was okay to pull that nasty prank on him. The bastard was still laughing.

“Now. The laugh. I heard you yesterday, when you thought no one was listening. It’s too high.” He stopped in front of me, tapping his own chest. “Elion’s was deeper. From here.” The gesture was intimate. Unexpected. I flinched. His jaw tightened instantly. “Try again,” he said. “I’ll tell you a joke. It’s a terrible one. Elion hated it.” He told it anyway... something painfully unfunny involving a squirrel and a priest. I forced out a weak chuckle, the sound thin and hollow. “No.” The word cracked like a whip.

“Don’t you mean fangtastic?” “I most assuredly do not.” His face was now stern. I rolled my eyes. “OK, got it. Dick jokes are OK but vampire jokes are not. Touchy much?” His mouth was drawn in a thin line “Funny jokes are acceptable. Others should be met with the derision they deserve.” There was a pregnant pause and all silly jokes and puns rushed out of my head, so I settled for rolling my eyes at him as I jumped off the bar stool instead. “Do you have anyone you need to let know you’ll be away?” he asked

Not even a little bit? I moved back away from him and when I said nothing,he came around to stand beside me again,he held my hand and we continued walking. “I’ve been browsing through a number of jokes this couple of days.I think I’ve become a very funny man.” I suppressed my lips in a tight line.”You don’t say.” “How do you open a banana?”He asked. “You peel it open.”I shrugged. “No.With a mon-key.” I grimaced and when he saw I didn’t get the joke,he rattled out.