Disclaimer Humor Novels & Stories

I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from smiling broadly. "I tried." And I had. I had also known that there was no real harm posed to her, but still. She was unharmed. "Seems like there might be some safety concerns. I wasn't expecting things to be quite so … explosive," he said, one corner of his mouth tipping up into a grin, the only indicator that he thought his own joke was funny. "Ha. Ha. You're hilarious," I said sarcastically. "Worked all morning on that one."

“What is funny?” “You’re so cool, so collected all the time, never showing who you really are. You don’t let any people close to you. I get it, you have a past, you have your secrets, more than most people. It’s funny that someone like you doesn’t realize that other people might have secrets, too.” “Atlas, I’ve no idea what you’re talking about, I think you’re drunk.” “I’m not drunk, I’m just disappointed, yet again, that my best friend keeps lying to me.”

"You have no idea–I was just joking around, but those disgusting guys went crazy asking me for your contact." The old me would have already been crying, asking her how she could do this to me, voice breaking. Not this me. My teeth clenched so hard they hurt. My whole body trembled with anger. I snatched the flyer out of her hand and slapped her across the face. Tara screamed, clutching her cheek in disbelief. "You hit me? I treat you like my best friend, and you can't even take a joke anymore?" Best friend? I let out a cold laugh.

"We're in this together, and we'll get through it together." I let out a rueful laugh, the sound tinged with a hint of self-deprecation. "Well, if I'm going to disappoint anyone, at least it's just me," I remarked, a wry smile tugging at the corners of my lips. Despite the gravity of our conversation, a small spark of humor flickered between us, a fleeting respite from the weight of our worries.

“And that guy’s some important mogul taking the helm of a bullish company? Mate, I don’t think its upward growth is gonna last any sooner.” “Dude thinks that just because he watches some action superhero movies on Netflix or Disney+ or something, and he’s suddenly a superhero of his own right! Haha, you can’t make this sh*t up!” Every member of the Northmob Council was seized by laughing fits. They did not try to hide their amusement and scorn behind any pretense. Some even laughed so hard that tears were rolling down their cheeks.

“Uh…air. Just air.” He glanced up then, suspicious. “You’re strange.” “I get that a lot.” [System Tip: Try humor using self-deprecation. Humans find it relatable.] I sighed. “Dream, if I die under your management, tell my funeral guests I was killed by deadlines and your resting glare.” His fingers paused on the keyboard. One heartbeat. Two. Then, very faintly, almost inaudibly, he exhaled through his nose. [System Alert: Micro-laugh detected. Progress 75%.]

"You have nothing to worry about, I've known the doctor and his wife for a long time. I trust that they will not repeat it to others." "Nothing to worry about," She repeated, letting out a mocking sigh. "You have no idea how utterly humiliating it was to me." He gave a slight frown at her tone. "Then I guess it's my fault?" She replied with gritted teeth. "Of course it is."

Bright and early the next day, I showed up at the office as usual. I ignored the whispers and stares, and made a beeline for my desk to start clearing it out. That was when Lily waltzed over, oozing fake sympathy. "Janice, can't you take a joke? "Come on, it was just a little toilet cleaning. Why'd you have to go and tell Mr. Hoffman you're quitting? No need to blow things out of proportion. "Look, I'll even dip into my own wallet and toss you a little extra cash to make up for it.

“I have all the evidence that proves my story true. I don’t know why you were sued, but it has nothing to do with me.” Mr. Walter laughed mockingly, the sound resonating from his nasal cavity that grated the ears. “Did you just say it has nothing to do with you?” He looked around and repeated it, and for some sick reason, some of my colleagues laughed. “Did you just say it has nothing to do with you?” He looked around, repeated it, and for some sick reason, some of my colleagues laughed, then stopped when Mr. Walter wore back his angry mask.

Instead, he pulled out his sandwich and started chewing. Liam and I had been talking a lot lately. Turns out, we both went to the same university though somehow, we’d never crossed paths. He leaned casually against the edge of my desk, a cup of coffee in hand, grinning. “Okay, here’s one: Why did the marketer get kicked off the trampoline?” I tilted my head. “Why?” “Too many bounce rates.” I snorted. “Oh my God, that’s awful.” He looked offended in the most dramatic way possible. “Please. That joke is gold. The last intern nearly choked on her protein bar.”