F Up Jokes

“We shouldn’t be doing this, Andrew. I’m over a decade older than you.” “If not right, then why does it feel so good? I want you Ada, I desire you!” There is nothing more intoxicating than the alluring scent of a woman you love, not even the pleasure at the bottom of a bottle can compare. 21 years old Andrew is faced with criticism when he falls in love with his sister’s best friend, an older lady and a divorcee. But Andrew is willing to go against the world for her. His obsession soon grows into addiction, but for how long can this forbidden affair continue? Is he really willing to face the challenges that come with loving an older woman? And is she ready to do the same for him? What happens when her ex-husband returns to win her back? Now she must chose between the one who returned her smile and the one who always held it.

She hides behind ugly suits and fake names. He's done trusting women. When they meet in a masked sex club, neither realizes they've been fighting each other across boardroom tables for eighteen months. At Taylor Industries, she's Joy Smith—the frumpy CFO who drowns her curves in shapeless polyester and wearing a wig. At home, she's the forgotten wife of a cheating lawyer who hasn't touched her in so long she's starting to wonder if she's broken. When she finds hot pink lace panties stuffed in her couch cushions...definitely not hers, it's not heartbreak she feels. It's freedom. Grayson Taylor doesn't do relationships anymore. Not after walking in on his actress fiancée with another woman. Now he channels everything into hostile takeovers and board meetings, especially the ones where his overcautious CFO fights him on every goddamn acquisition. Joy Smith is brilliant, infuriating, and funny when he pushes all her buttons. But Honey is tired of being invisible. Tired of never having felt real pleasure. So, when her best friend gives her the details of The Velvet Room—Manhattan's most exclusive masked club—she promises herself just one night. One night to find out if her husband's right, if she really is frigid, or if she's just never been touched by the right hands. She doesn't expect the masked stranger who claims her the second she walks in. Doesn't expect the chemistry that ignites between them, the way he makes her body sing, or the orgasms that leave her shaking. Doesn't expect him to hand her an email address with one command: "Only me. No one else touches you."

Zoe Grace Langston, a 17-year-old girl, is forced to stay at her brother’s apartment while their parents are abroad. At first, she thought she would only be staying with her brother, Zach. But she was wrong. Zach has a roommate named Max—Maximillian Jones Shepard, a 31-year-old man with a free and passionate lifestyle. Their first encounter happens when Zoe is masturbating in Max’s room. Then, their other meetings take place in awkward and heated situations because Max constantly teases Zoe and throws dirty jokes at her. Until one night, they sleep together, and that night becomes Zoe’s first time. Their relationship is built on a burning passion that grows wilder and wilder, making Zoe even more curious about adult sexual life, which she has never experienced before. Meanwhile, Max is always willing to fulfill Zoe’s wild fantasies with everything she wants from him. However, the relationship does not go as well as Zoe fantasized. What if they had to hide the relationship from Zach because he clearly wouldn’t approve of it? How will Zoe handle the problem with her school boyfriend, Jack, while she’s already in a relationship with Max? What if one day, a woman shows up claiming that she’s pregnant with Max’s child? And what if all this time, there’s a red string between Max and Zoe from the past that they never expected? What if Max is someone from the dark world who pulls Zoe into the same darkness? What if Max is a part of her past that she has never remembered until now? Can Zoe, who is still a young woman, face all the problems caused by her relationship with Max?

“There’s no sleeping and cuddling, Robyn. Just fu*king. I will f*ck you hard and fast. I will f*ck you until I lose interest in you. I will f*ck you every night. I’ll make sure you beg for more. That’s for a year. You will be naked in bed for 365 nights. After that, your debt is paid. I will forget you existed. Unless you have my three million dollars right now, then you have no choice but to bend to my will.” *** One night is supposed to be fun, not waking up sold to the highest bidder. Before I knew it, my boss, the beast with an ice-cold heart and a nightmare to work for, bought me and owned my very existence, turning me into his little bird in his golden gilded cage with impossible choices until I agreed to his dark bargain. Being at the mercy of a man like Spade Kolby with wealth, power, and an enigmatic past as dark as the night, I soon realized that having your boss save your life comes with a price. Nothing’s free. The only way to pay my debt is to be his wife and surrender my freedom. But the second our skins touch, there’s fire. The longer I try to resist his scorching touch and fight his death grip on my heart, the harder it gets, and I know nothing good comes out of falling for him.  Knowing the unimaginable consequences of escaping— how a snap of his fingers can destroy me, his words can rip me apart, and the unbreakable bond that binds us. After all, maybe once he gets what he wants, his obsession with me stops. Or maybe he’s not as cruel as I imagined him to be.

Misteri yang terdapat di balik ritual yang dilakukan setiap tujuh tahun sekali oleh orang-orang desa di tempat tinggalnya, memancing seorang anak laki-laki bernama Aaron untuk menyelidiki misteri itu. Setelah sahabat dekatnya yang bernama Elena diculik oleh sang makhluk kegelapan, Aaron pun bertekad akan membawa gadis itu kembali, serta mencari tahu penyebab dari hilangnya ingatan semua orang terhadap si gadis bersurai emas. Ketika tahun demi tahun telah berlalu, Aaron yang telah menjadi seorang pemuda tangguh harus kembali ke desa kelahirannya. Dia dan ketiga orang sahabatnya pun terjebak dalam ritual pemujaan yang membuat keempatnya menghilang, masuk ke sebuah pintu menuju dunia yang asing, segalanya mendadak berubah. Aaron dan ketiga orang temannya harus menjalani kehidupan yang berat di dunia yang dipenuhi monster dan makhluk mitologi yang sering diceritakan oleh neneknya di masa lalu. Keempatnya kemudian bergabung ke sebuah organisasi pemburu monster bernama Dark Storm, demi melanjutkan misi pencarian terhadap Elena. Akankah semua yang Aaron rencanakan berjalan lancar sesuai dengan rencananya ataukah ... dia gagal memperoleh Elena kembali? Mampukah mereka melarikan diri dari pengaruh sihir yang lambat laun akan membunuh mereka semua?

Is he trying to insert that thing in my… I fought back and wiggled my body to avoid his big pet when he tried to rub our sensitive part. "Aaargh!" he softly groaned. "Stop resisting me, Susana! We f*cking did this a lot of time!" he growled at me. "I'm not Suzanne! I-I'm her twin sir! Please don't!” I begged him. "Stop lying! Our f*cking son!” He stopped for a moment and looked into my eyes. "You f*cking abandoned him just because you're a slut! Don't f*cking fool me, Susana! Because you'll never fool me again!" he shouted at me, making me close my eyes. "I'm not the woman you're looking for, Mr. I have a twin. Maybe you're talking about her! Her name is Suzanne! I don't even know you, Mr. Believe me I'm not her! I'm her twin!" I insist. "Bullsh*t! Stop lying!” I caught my breath when I felt him enter my hole. I felt like I was stabbed in that part. I couldn't breathe immediately because of the pain at his first entrance. *G*damn it!" he whispered with regret. "I-I told you… I’m not her." I murmured before closing my eyes. I closed my eyes tightly and I was shaking before my vision completely darkened. But before I could open my eyes, I heard one last word he spoke. "F*ck! Shit! Call the f*cking doctor now!”

The story of 'EVERY WOMAN CANNOT BE PRETTY' is a message to millions of women around the world who feel inferior due to their average looks that ‘ Beauty is not in the face alone.’ The protagonist in this story, Sarah Liam suffers from PCOS ( Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) with side effects of being obese, acne prone and having more than normal hair growth on face and body. To top it she is short in height and has a prominent mole on her chin. In all, she is not what one can call “pretty”. Her husband wants to use her as a sex toy, her best friend betrays her trust by sleeping with her husband. Faced with treachery by loved ones, shunned by many, at the brunt of the unkindest of jokes, the story shows how Sarah manages to rise like a Phoenix, hold her head high and eke revenge on the people who have cheated her, solely with the strength of her talent and grit. But with her flawed appearance, will she ever find true love? Can she ever aspire to marry a handsome man or will she have to settle for someone similarly flawed? Read on..

Handsome, toxic, dark and wild. Colton Dashner could be anything but one thing: loving someone. I didn't know what I was getting myself into when I decided to be a part of his world, I even thought I would be destroyed by him. However there was something beyond that tough, bad boy facade that he wouldn't let anyone see, I could do it. I didn't heed the warnings, I was stubborn and blind. And now... Now I wish I could go back to that first day I met him, never to have done it again. But time can't stand still, nor can my broken heart.

Putraku tiba-tiba bilang dia terkena leukemia. Keinginan paling utamanya adalah melihat Tante Eva mengenakan gaun pengantin. Suamiku juga ikut menimpali. "Cuma nikah dengan Eva saja. Setelah putra kita menjalani pengobatan dengan tenang, kita baru nikah lagi." Aku pun menyetujui permintaan ini dan bercerai dengan suamiku. Tak lama kemudian, dari unggahan Instagram putraku, aku melihat putraku menghadiri pernikahan suamiku dengan teman masa kecilnya dengan penuh semangat. Judul unggahan itu tertulis : [Aku menjadi saksi dari kebahagiaan ayahku. Hari ini lagi-lagi aku tersentuh oleh perjuangan cinta sejati.] Aku tersenyum dan mematikan ponselku. Sembari memegang tangan orang di sebelahku, aku pun naik pesawat ke Navala.

A love that is silent but never a secret. It is a soft scream that echoes over the years. At a young age, Lana Normina Delfin started developing simple admiration towards someone, her classmate, who constantly teased her because she's a transferee. Turns out that this boy had a crush on her and was just trying to get her attention. But right after she realized her admiration on him, he suddenly distanced himself and started treating her like a mere acquaintance. But even after leaving her confused and wondering, she stayed silent and kept her feelings. She was okay admiring him from afar, with few rumors spreading about it, hoping they would reach him. Until he left, leaving the country without any assurance of returning. Was it the end? He already left and there's nothing between them that she could hold on. Should she accept it already and live by? Because it's been years. An undeniably long years.