Food Jokes Novels & Stories

“Because it makes you laugh?” He clicked his tongue, a smile on his face. “You finally get it.” I rolled my eyes. “But ONLY you does it make laugh. Real jokes are so funny everyone around would burst into laughter, not them crying while you’re having a blast.” “A joke is a joke.” “…Your sense of humor is rotten,” I ended up muttering, hissing as his rough fingers tugged at the bandage wrapped around my ribs. The cloth peeled away sticky and damp, and the stench of dried blood hit my nose. I fought the urge to gag.

"You sure look better now." "And you look... worse." As far as jokes went, it was a lame joke, one that would not have made anyone event crack a smile normally, but it somehow managed to crack us both up. A second later, Silas and I were laughing like loons, laughing our heads off, clutching the counter to keep from toppling over. Silas stopped to burp and that set us both off again. Silas's unsteady hands poured us both a large glass of whisky.

My smile widened as I mindlessly took off my jacket setting it down on the leather seat. I clung to Dalton chatting with him as Enzo thought it was the time for the like of the day as he called it. It was one of those stupid habits that we had going on as kids and it kinda stuck with us and Enzo was the one with the shittiest and corniest jokes. I braced myself to hear one of his dad jokes, Dalton was holding in his laugh at the eager look on his brother's face already. "What do you call a joke without a punchline?"

She hissed, “we need to leave immediately!” “Alright, alright.” I patted her arm. “I’ll just get the eggplants.” I turned and beamed widely at the worried girl. “Have you seen a brinjal this big and shiny?! It’s like—.” “A cock soaked in cum,” someone said. What...? My face feel deadpanned as it swivelled up to voice. An elderly man in Einstein’s age and appearance was bellowing in laughter at his own dirty joke, his round belly shaking uncontrollably.

Marlene raised an eyebrow smugly. "Jillian, I've already told you that until the two thousand dollars is in my account, you're not going anywhere." I looked at her coldly. "This is unlawful detention—it's a crime. I suggest you think about the consequences before you act." Marlene burst into exaggerated laughter, doubling over as she turned to Hugo. "Hugo, did you hear that? She told me to think about the consequences. Oh, I'm so scared."

She barely laughed at his jokes. “What’s funny?”

"And guess what? He raised his cup, moving it in circle as he waited for me to guess. Yeah, he probably knew I was really poor in making guesses. He had talked, he let the cat out of the bag. "I know how dumb you could be most at times. So let me not keep the newe waiting and the excitement dying because of some dumb soul." He scoffed, laughing hard as he banged the table at his own jokes and what was required of every one who was present there was to laugh alongside with me. Even if…. It was a boring joke, no one cared as far as they wouldn't lose their life.

The ring struck the marble with a clean little sound, sharp enough to cut through the laughter. “Wilson,” I said, “we’re done.” His smile faded into annoyance. “Don’t make a thing out of this. It was cake, Viv. I’ll get the dress cleaned. Chloe has pulled way worse stunts, and honestly, she went easy on you tonight.” Chloe lifted both hands, all wounded innocence. “It was a joke. If you didn’t like it, fine, we won’t do it again. Why go straight to breaking up?” Someone at the back snorted. “Told you she couldn’t take a joke.”

“That was... something.” He didn’t even flinch. “Tough crowd,” he muttered under his breath. Tough crowd? Was this a boardroom or open mic night? --- Then came the coffee break. I’d barely made it to the break room when he cornered me with another one of his “brilliant” jokes. “What do you call a sad cup of coffee?” he asked, his voice dripping with enthusiasm. Against my better judgment, I played along. “What?” “A depresso.”

Not even a little bit? I moved back away from him and when I said nothing,he came around to stand beside me again,he held my hand and we continued walking. “I’ve been browsing through a number of jokes this couple of days.I think I’ve become a very funny man.” I suppressed my lips in a tight line.”You don’t say.” “How do you open a banana?”He asked. “You peel it open.”I shrugged. “No.With a mon-key.” I grimaced and when he saw I didn’t get the joke,he rattled out.