Food Jokes Novels & Stories

I applied for a popular online job as a personal chef. I thought I'd be cooking simple, home-style meals, but I quickly found myself trapped in a world of surprises. The food they were craving was me, served on a platter. The wealthy women were looking for excitement, torturing me night after night. But what they didn't realize was, the real thrill came when the dogs turned on each other.

It was not until after I married Bennett that I found out he had a clingy little childhood friend who loved to play the victim. On the very first day of our marriage, at dinner, I simply asked Bennett to pass me a bite of food. She immediately exploded. "Holly, you're disgusting! Bennett already used those utensils, and you seriously asked him to serve you food? What, don't you have hands?" I froze, completely blindsided. Before I could even react, Bennett put down his spoon and went straight to her, wrapping her in his arms like she was the one who had been wronged. Then he turned to me and said I should just get my own food from now on. However, honestly, wasn't it normal for a husband to serve his wife a bite? What was so outrageous about that? I barely got a word out before Bennett shut me down in a low, firm voice. "That's final. If Rosie doesn't like it, then we're not doing it. End of discussion."

This is a story set in omegaverse. There are 6 genders namely; Alpha male, Alpha female, Beta male, Beta female, Omega male and Omega female. The Alphas are at the top of the food chain, followed by the betas then the omega females and, in dead last, the omega males. I'm Makino Hinata and I'm one of them, an omega male, according to society, abnormal. The Alphas have a different biological composition than the betas and omegas, they are able to produce pheromones that attract omegas, they have a ball-shaped thing at the end of their reproductive organ that is active during their ruts, they use this to impregnate the omegas, they are at the top of the food chain. The betas have no special quality, their basically normal humans. The omegas females and males are for breeding and have pheromones that attracts alphas into mating with them during heat, they have wombs for carrying babies. There are suppressant medicines that keep the alpha's rut and omega's heat in check, there are also medicines that incites heat in omegas. There are pills and shots for those types of medicines. In my last year of middle school when I had one of my heats, I was unprepared, walking home at night. Luckily there was no one on the street, or so I thought. "Hey, are you okay?" A voice came from behind me.

A lonely and injured Alpha male werewolf was found by a vet in a forest when she went trekking along with her stepsister and her friends. She brings him home to get him treated thinking that he is any other normal wolf that got hurt. Little did she know that the wolf was actually not hurt but just being lazy to even eat the food given to him. So, he was abandoned by his clan to fend off by himself.

Aria walked into the company with a food pack in her hand, eager to meet her darling husband, only to find him in his office with his secretary making out. She had an argument with his secretary and her husband came in to support his mistress. She went to the popular night club for wealthy women to cool off only to wake up behind a stranger. Will she continue in her marriage or leave with the stranger who requested for a date.

“No, no, no!” She cried out, bending over to savage the little she could, but every attempt seemed fruitless because the food kept soaking into the wet ground. Unfortunately, it had rained that morning. This made her furious. With frantic wide eyes and a rage-fueled strength, she grabbed the nearest huge stone she could carry and ran like a wild beast, screaming at the top of her lungs after the car that had deprived her siblings’ food.

[How do you avoid the darkly handsome Beta that wants to... eat you?] Camilla: I was sent to Alpha Jackal’s mansion to pay off my foster parent’s debt. It wasn’t something I feared until I learned that Rin, the pack's Beta, is a powerful demon. Now I'm stuck under the same roof as Rin, and there is no chance of avoiding him. I wish I could. Why? Because a demon murdered my parents in cold blood. I fear Rin. Demons are monstrous, which is why it must be one of life's cruel jokes to have inserted Rin into my life. Rin: I should stay away from the new housekeeper, but how could I possibly keep away from the seductive she-wolf? She is gorgeous, and my Alpha would punish me if he knew badly I wanted her to sit on my face, squirming and moaning my name. He can never know the truth, especially not since he seems interested in her too.

"How dare you keep my son away from me?!" "You rejected me and didn't want to do anything with me!" "I will reject you all over again to punish you for this!" "Jokes on you if you think I care about your rejection anymore." ___ Delilah was the contracted bride of Alpha Stephen Knight even after being his fated mate. Losing her parents at a young age was hard enough for her and getting brutally rejected by her mate was the last straw for her. She left with dignity and vowed to never turn back. But what happens when her past comes back to prove destiny once again? Stephen Knight never wanted anything to do with her but was that going to change when he sees her after years? She has changed but he hasn't. He is still the same heartless man. In the game of lies, revenge and pain, they will discover truths that's going to shatter their lives. Will Delilah find Stephen beside her or will he break her heart once again?

Roxanne Rowan is a spiritual news editor. After an accident in the year twenty-two, Roxanne Rowan was able to see ghosts. She goes around trying to find a way to solve this ability. Her fear of ghosts makes her taciturn and closed off. During an encounter with evil spirits, Roxanne met Egan Griffith, the demon employee of hell. He has the task of catching the demons that are causing trouble in the living world to bring them to hell and punish them. According to the orders of the spirit world, if Roxanne wants to break the ability to see ghosts in her eyes, she must cooperate with Egan to catch the devil spirits. The contract is signed and many bad jokes happen. Roxanne's fate and secret are also revealed. She also realizes that demons come in two forms: disrupting people in the living world and trying to earn money in order to survive like a normal person. Every night, Roxanne has to lie in bed waiting for Egan to finish processing the documents for the company. She doesn’t think from an unequal partnership to rolling in bed so close together.

Mate or be killed. Our world has become a dangerous place, ruled by the ruthless Soul Keepers—demon-like creatures that take pleasure in thrusting us into the mate hunt. Every five months, two shifters are selected, one male and one female, and they are cast into the treacherous Woods Of Abyss together. There, they must fend off beasts and scavenge for food, but there's one crucial rule: both shifters must mate before the five months expire or face elimination. My name is Hazel Bonfire and my life is turned upside down when I'm chosen for this brutal hunt. Unfortunately, the male selected to join me is none other than my step-brother, Ashton Rider. Thrown into a perilous forest, we must depend on one another for food, shelter, and warmth. Ashton is painfully aware that his mate can see everything unfolding between us, and each time he betrays her for the sake of the hunt, it destroys a piece of him. . .I hate what it's doing to us—all of us. I hate that we do not have a choice. But more than anything, I hate that I'm beginning to feel things for Ashton that I know will destroy the relationship we once had. . . forever.