Food Jokes Novels & Stories

“I always know how to cheer people up. Want me to tell you a bad joke?” I sniffed again. “No.” She grinned wider. “Too late. What do you call fake spaghetti?” I groaned, pressing my face into my sleeve. “Riley, please.” “An impasta,” she said, bursting into laughter at her own joke. Despite myself, I laughed too. It came out choked, but it was laughter all the same. She looked so proud of herself for making me do it that I had to keep laughing. “God, you are ridiculous,” I said, shaking my head.

It wasn't just me who heard what Hubert Lock said. His parents heard them too. Laidman Lock immediately raised a hand and smacked Hubert lightly on the arm, irritation creeping into his voice. "What kind of nonsense are you talking about? Who jokes with their wife like that?" Michelle Lock quickly patted the back of my hand and comforted me softly. "Crystal, don't take it to heart. It's April Fools' Day, isn't it? Hubert was just being thoughtless and making a joke."

“I do not fall.” There was a pause. “No,” he said calmly. “You just look very funny while slipping.” The line went dead. I stood there for a long time. Then I began laughing again. Because if I did not laugh, I might start screaming. The televisions behind me kept talking. The city kept moving and for the first time in my life, I understood what it felt like to be the joke. But jokes can turn dark very quickly and I am very good at dark.

With the booze and the weed, all three were in a much happier mood and laughed their asses off about the fight they'd had earlier. "It...it was "double bubble trouble!" Jenson said in a silly voice causing Ulaya to howl out holding her belly as they all fell over sideways on the couch dying with laughter. "It was definitely a "clean fight!" Jarrod remarked. They cackled so hard that tears were rolling down their faces at shit that wasn't really even funny at all. "Hey....are yall hungry? I'm fucking starved to death! How about we order some pizza, fried chicken and Chinese. Huh whatya say?" Jenson asked, his eyes wide.

my father said while trying to stifle his laughter. "Yeah. You sounded really convincing, honey. I was about to sedate you with nitrous oxide if you hadn't stopped. Ha ha ha!" mom joined in on the conversation with another one of her dentist jokes. The laughing gas joke being one of her particular favorites. "It was a joke? Whew! You had me going there for a while," I took a deep breath before I continued, "So you're not mad that I just got home now?" "Of course not! You already told us that you were coming home late. Besides, we trust you completely sweetheart," dad answered.

The hosts were setting the mood, and slowly they got involved in the fun. "Hahaha!! Have you heard it?" Tanvi said while trying to control her laughter. "The restaurant joke was hilarious." Riaan gave a Colgate ad smile while his eyes were gleaming. "Ah!!! This flames joke." They held their cheeks while laughing. After a while, "Hum do Hamara Ek policy!!" Riaan held his stomach while giggling hard. Tanvi is rolling off while chuckling hard. "Omg!! The jet airways joke... I can't control it anymore." Tanvi and Riaan both burst out snickering.

"You have no idea–I was just joking around, but those disgusting guys went crazy asking me for your contact." The old me would have already been crying, asking her how she could do this to me, voice breaking. Not this me. My teeth clenched so hard they hurt. My whole body trembled with anger. I snatched the flyer out of her hand and slapped her across the face. Tara screamed, clutching her cheek in disbelief. "You hit me? I treat you like my best friend, and you can't even take a joke anymore?" Best friend? I let out a cold laugh.

He was glowing with pride, while Vanessa sat right next to him, looking every bit like the star of the night. I was seated near the serving entrance and was basically invisible. After several rounds of drinks, the atmosphere in the room turned vulgar. A few male colleagues who loved telling dirty jokes started running their mouths again under the influence of alcohol. "Vanessa's got serious charm. She even managed to crack a tough nut like Gilla Group!" "Exactly. The kind of allure Vanessa has? That's nothing some bookish little girl can compete with. If you ask me, talking business in the conference room is nowhere near as effective as talking at the dinner table, right, Vanessa?"

When my joke lands she tilts her head back to laugh, shaking her head as she looks at me. "You're ridiculous." She says. "You're smiling." I respond. She gives me that warm look again and I wonder what's going through her mind at this moment. "You got any other ones?" She asks and I wrack my brain for any other dad jokes. "Um... The circus lion ate the clown but didn't finish." I say. "Why?" She asks. "Because he tasted funny." I respond and Harper chuckles again. "More." She teases, but I just shrug.

They chuckle lightly at my joke and I'm glad it didn't go over their heads. “This is your first time meeting us”. One of the men says…I've genuinely forgotten his name and pack. “What do you think? Do you also think Fern is a dickhead?”. The Fern in question throws a butter knife, landing it perfectly between the man's hands on the table. “Shut up, Keren”. I can't tell if it's a joke but Keren doesn't flinch, just turns to me and shrugs in mock surrender. “I told you”. He says. The table chuckles again and I realize then that it must be a joke. What…a unique sense of humor.