French Jokes

On my wedding day with Jack Miller, he ran off with his first love As if to taunt me, he would send a photo of himself with her from every new destination they visited. I was getting a manicure and enjoying imported French pastries with my afternoon tea when I received their ninety-ninth photo. But after three years of absence, Jack suddenly returned. He pointed at my wedding photo with someone else and shouted, “How dare you fool around with another man while I was gone!" I couldn't help but laugh. "What other man? I've been married to my husband for three years now." "Jack, you didn't actually think I was waiting for you all this time, did you?"

It’s all fun and games until a body washes up…. Beth Monroe just wants to make it through the summer baseball season without being the constant target of her brother Shane’s jokes, but he is relentless, and she’s ready to lock herself in her room and hide. Until the new girl shows up. Halley appears in small town Barryville like a ghost. No one knows where she came from or anything about her past, not even her last name. When she gives Beth a piece of unsolicited advice that, “It’s what’s on the outside that counts,” Beth changes everything about herself. By the time Beth realizes she’s becoming a monster, it might be too late, and Halley has already sunk her claws into Beth’s best friend Ryan—who might’ve been something more if Beth had opened her eyes a little earlier. As Halley’s past catches up to her, Beth realizes there’s more to this mysterious girl than she realized. Can she stop Halley from revealing her true, monstrous nature to Ryan before it’s too late?

“You should end things with him.” A husky deep voice echoes from the darkness. I freeze in place, his thick Russian accent sent shivers down my spine. I could only make out his large form from the dim lights of the smoking area. “H-how long have you been standing there?” I shivered, not from the cold but from an unsettling feeling. He chuckles richly causing my heart rate to quicken as I watch a small flicker of light before smoke puffs out into the air. “Go inside, krasotka it’s too cold for that little dress of yours...” ******** Josephine Beaumont would’ve never imagined that working as a personal nurse for a wealthy French businessman would entangle her into a deadly web of mafia rivalries. Struggling with financial issues and a toxic relationship, she catches the attention of the dangerous and ruthless Russian pakhan, Sasha Romanov and a deep dark obsession brews takes root in his heart. He stalks her every move with burning desire and manipulates their meeting in the pretense of fate, pulling her into the dangerous dark world of the mafia. Delve into this dark, steamy mafia romance filled with obsession, power, and high-stakes danger, BRATVA'S OBSESSION will leave you breathless and craving more.

History student Alex Palmer is thrilled when his girlfriend, Claire Ryan, buys an apartment in Belle Vue Manor, formerly a Victorian lunatic asylum. But as Alex begins to discover the dark truth about the asylum’s past, he, Claire, and their friend Marianne find themselves on a nightmarish journey. Each will face the deadly consequences of the evil that began with the construction of the first Belle Vue Manor by an aristocratic French émigré in 1789, as well as the cruelty and satanic practices that continued when it became an asylum for the insane. As the two strands—past and present—unfold, Alex uncovers a supernatural mystery where revenge is paramount and innocence irrelevant—without being aware of the price he, and those around him, will pay. ©️ Crystal Lake Publishing

She is a free spirit, trapped in a bird cage of death, danger and despair. Little Alessa has always known one thing above all- she was born to be the perfect Principessa of the Cosa Nostra, the Italian Mafia. She was urged to smile when asked to, laugh even when the jokes were anything but funny, charming to all who were allies. She was perfection incarnate...well, that's what they think. They know nothing of her wild abandon, of her plans to be anything but the perfect princess, royalty of a world dredged so deep in blood, she choked on it. Her plans to run were absolute...well, until HE came along. The mysterious Pakan-a Don like her father- shielded by the shadows that he ruled from. He was the anomaly that she least expected. He destroyed her plans and she hated him for it. So why then does her heart beat so fast when he is near? Why is he the one she thinks about before she sleeps? Why does she so long to see him when she's sad? She wanted the freedom, the life beyond the shadows and explore the world. But Emerald colored eyes, cocky smirks, rough hands, cigarettes and darkness were starting to look a little more appealing...

After being ambushed in a hotel parking garage, Mr. Raphael Yves, a handsome French man, is given the shock of his life when his fiancée, Giovanna Donatello, is exposed as being part of the most notorious mafia in Italy. He thought his obvious choice was to leave her, but he loved Giovanna very much, thus, leading him to choose between her, and his life. Dig deeper to explore the world of Mr. Yves and his lover, Giovanna, as they strive to escape the cruel, destructive life that mafia forced them into.

Cassy had always felt different from others as if she didn't belong anywhere, and if it was because she didn't belong here but in another world, and if her destiny was more important than just going to college and getting a job after graduation. After a solar eclipse and apocalyptic visions, Cassy's destiny will be revealed to her, will she be strong enough to face the danger that will come her way. Fortunately, she won't be alone, her soul mate will always be there for her and so will her friends, together they will learn to fight and become strong enough to face the Demon God and his army. If you like fantasy novels about mages, warriors, shapesfithers, demons, travel between different worlds, systems, this novel is for you. WARNING, the main couple will be a straight couple and the side couple will be a gay couple (boys love), you have been warned. Update monday to friday For french people a french version is available on my personal website at https://celianayawebnovel.com/ in this website you can find all my stories :)

Ramses Kane, the international playboy. Voted the Sexiest man alive as per People magazine for 7 years in a row. I've heard it all, seen it all. He and I have been 'together', for longer than I can even count. I am his main love interest. I got over the fact that if I want him in my life I have to share him. I learned that Ramses will never truly settle down. It would be with me if he did. So when he brings another woman into my bar, and introduces her as his girlfriend… I know something is awry. I have a terrible feeling about her. I know she has done something to Ramses, but he doesn't seem to notice. I am not a jealous woman, however, all I can feel is rage when I see Haven's face. I have been a Witch since birth. but attempt after attempt fails as I try to uncover the truth, and I realize that in order to save him, I have to do something forbidden by not only the Witches of the French Quarter, but The Ancestors... The ritual that I pulled power from, goes off without a hitch, but The Ancestors are beyond angry with me now. I had no idea the sheer consequences of my actions… Saving Ramses was worth the risk, but what is a Witch without her magic? The ritual to visit The Otherside is immensely dangerous, but I am determined to meet with The Ancestors and plead my case. I'm not sorry that I abused my powers to save Ramses. I plead my case but If I become one of them, I will never leave this place. Unfortunately, I dug my grave, now I have to lie in my coffin while they slam the lid shut.

Emma Garcia is the child of a famous French millionaire. In a careless one, she was kidnapped to distant Italy. During that process, Emma had many times escaped death by danger in Italy. But luckily, she met Carla Domenica - the sister of a mafia boss in the Italian underworld. One thing she could not expect, Ivan Domenica – that Italian mafia boss fell in love with her. He did not allow Emma to return to France, and he wanted to marry Emma. In front of a man with status, money, family background, and beauty like him. Emma, a girl only seventeen years old, quickly fell in love with Ivan's trap. How will their relationship progress? Will Emma be able to return to France? And is his love for her real?

When three people meet each other by chance a romance knocks them on their ass. ~Casey~ A 21 year old virgin working in one of the hottest night clubs in town. She may seem innocent but deep down she is a psycho who enjoys torturing people. She's never been touched by a man and she's killed the ones that have tried. She loves her only remaining family, her older sister Carrie. She has trust issues and a foul mouth. Can she find someone to match her crazy? ~Lincoln~ A 20 yr old street racer with a rough past. He is a bisexual, submissive with some masochistic tendencies. He's gorgeous and catches a lot of attention from both sexes. His cheating ex doesn't won't leave him alone almost borderline harassment. He jokes to hide the pain he bares every day. See how his life changes when he bumps into a little waitress. How will he react to a sexy, possessive man trying to gain his affections and encourage a little woman's psychotic tendencies? ~Malachi "Psycho" Sokolov~ He's a 23 yr old torture expert. He's well known in the underground and with the mafia families for using his pack of dogs during his interrogations. To the public he's a businessman, owning several nightclubs, a couple restaurants and some miscellaneous businesses. He is also bisexual and has had only a few lovers that can handle his bedroom habits. No one has really caught his attention until he sees a young man arguing with one of his staff and a new waitress that's as sweet as can be with little bit of fire and crazy. Find out if their love blooms or burns.