French Jokes Novels & Stories

He slowly closed the magazine, which he was absolutely not reading, and put it back on the table before turning toward me to attack my heart with his smoldering stare. “Les gens heureux lisent et boivent du café," he whispered in French and I swear that my heart stopped beating for at least five good seconds. “It literally means that happy people read and drink coffee. If you’re here I’m sure you could use a little happiness in your life, am I wrong?”

I joke. "You would know wouldn't you? Since you're so old?" Marie jokes. "Ha Ha. Very funny." I retort. "Aww are you offended my love? I didn't mean it like that babe." Marie imitates a very bad British accent. "You really need to work on your British accent Marie." I chuckle. "Okay mate. Whatever you say." Marie once again fails at her accent. "Let's just get going. Or else you'll lose your mind babe." I joke.

She asked, pinching his cheek gently. "That's impossible.I've been practicing jokes.”Matteo grinned proudly. "Oh… really?" "Yes… I have seventeen already." "Should I be worried?"Sofia asked, looking toward Lorenzo. "Yup! You should be very worried." "They're terrible," Marco added. "Noo… they're masterpieces," Matteo corrected. "Alright, I'll be the judge of that," Sofia said. "Good. I'll save the funniest one for you,” He said, leaning close and whispering loudly enough for everyone to hear.

“Do you think she could look at it for me while the rest of you are eating lunch?’ “Grandma Genevieve?” Chase asked. “She’d do anything for you. She thinks you’re the most handsome garcon in all of the village.” “Garcon?” Jack asked, not sure what that French word meant. “Boy,” Chase said. “I know, like, four French words. Most of them are food-related.” Jack laughed. It felt good to actually be able to laugh and not feel like something was weighing him down. If what Everly had found was real, then maybe they could all relax a little soon enough.

He boasted arrogantly. "Very funny Gregory! You sound like one of my girlfriends longing for my junk. You turning to the other side?" I joked, my face in disgust. We both laughed. "Screw you Anderson! I'm still a ladies' man that won't change. Speaking of ladies, dude! The French girls are so hot. You should have joined me! We would've been kings! It would've been so epic!" He bragged. "Still think you're some lady killer huh, Romeo?" I tittered. "I'd still prefer Americans you know." I said firmly, not knowing I did something that I shouldn't do in front of this guy, who happens to be mister-knows-me-too-well.

VINCE "Joy has a habit of talking to herself?" Mum asked, her voice cracking because of her laughter. I nodded, "She does. A lot." Joy couldn't stop laughing either and neither could Richard. For the past half an hour, every one of us brought up stories that had our stomachs hurting. "Well, it's not weird at all. Richard here has a habit of farting when he's nervous." Ri immediately retorted, “Now, that’s very embarrassing.”

Arian's heated replies to their prank last night made Ricky chuckle. ~ You SHITHEADS are simply wasting your pathetic lives! ~ One of these days, I won't donate a kidney to either one of you goats! ~ Really Rick?.... I hope one of those sluts gets away with your keys! And don't think you're safe too, Jerk...sorry, Jeff! ~ Oh! And who said staying home ain't fun??... Well, feast your eyes on this! Below, the infuriated French shared a picture of the little fox who was asleep on his bed....more of asleep on HIM.

Sophia groaned and rubbed her forehead, annoyed. "You know Eiffel is pronounced like 'I fell'. Hahaha." He said nervously and then frowned as he saw the girl face not laughing at his joke. "Why are you not laughing?" "Firstly this joke is popular in France which I'm probably sure that you found it on the internet and secondly I'm not in the mood of joking but of dying." She hissed harshly. "How did you know I found it on the Internet? Because I texted Nelson who said that he made it." He said innocently taking out his phone.

That wasn’t your name, and how the hell did you get bread guy to laugh? I returned to my post behind the counter and punched in the latest order. ‘Bread’s guy’s a French guy.’ I looked up at the deadpan face with a sweet smile. ‘So?’ I opened my palm and a hundred dollar bill slapped onto it, alongside a fuming knit of brows. Checking the note before slotting into my butt pocket, I murmured, ‘So I just made someone tell him a joke in French, and he laughed.’ ‘Wha-da fuck.’ Felix rolled his eyes. ‘And what sick joke is that?’

"It looks like it would be your type of jam." He elbows me gently, giggling. "Get it? Jam?" My head swings towards him and I eye him suspiciously. "Did you... just make..." I pause dramatically. "A dad joke?" I try to fight my smile but fail spectacularly. He looks almost wounded by my suggestion and presses a hand to his stomach, almost as if I shot him with an arrow. "I don't tell dad jokes. I tell awesome jokes." He sweeps his hand towards the French bakery, that little bag still hanging on his fingers.