French Jokes

When three people meet each other by chance a romance knocks them on their ass. ~Casey~ A 21 year old virgin working in one of the hottest night clubs in town. She may seem innocent but deep down she is a psycho who enjoys torturing people. She's never been touched by a man and she's killed the ones that have tried. She loves her only remaining family, her older sister Carrie. She has trust issues and a foul mouth. Can she find someone to match her crazy? ~Lincoln~ A 20 yr old street racer with a rough past. He is a bisexual, submissive with some masochistic tendencies. He's gorgeous and catches a lot of attention from both sexes. His cheating ex doesn't won't leave him alone almost borderline harassment. He jokes to hide the pain he bares every day. See how his life changes when he bumps into a little waitress. How will he react to a sexy, possessive man trying to gain his affections and encourage a little woman's psychotic tendencies? ~Malachi "Psycho" Sokolov~ He's a 23 yr old torture expert. He's well known in the underground and with the mafia families for using his pack of dogs during his interrogations. To the public he's a businessman, owning several nightclubs, a couple restaurants and some miscellaneous businesses. He is also bisexual and has had only a few lovers that can handle his bedroom habits. No one has really caught his attention until he sees a young man arguing with one of his staff and a new waitress that's as sweet as can be with little bit of fire and crazy. Find out if their love blooms or burns.

Ramses Kane, the international playboy. Voted the Sexiest man alive as per People magazine for 7 years in a row. I've heard it all, seen it all. He and I have been 'together', for longer than I can even count. I am his main love interest. I got over the fact that if I want him in my life I have to share him. I learned that Ramses will never truly settle down. It would be with me if he did. So when he brings another woman into my bar, and introduces her as his girlfriend… I know something is awry. I have a terrible feeling about her. I know she has done something to Ramses, but he doesn't seem to notice. I am not a jealous woman, however, all I can feel is rage when I see Haven's face. I have been a Witch since birth. but attempt after attempt fails as I try to uncover the truth, and I realize that in order to save him, I have to do something forbidden by not only the Witches of the French Quarter, but The Ancestors... The ritual that I pulled power from, goes off without a hitch, but The Ancestors are beyond angry with me now. I had no idea the sheer consequences of my actions… Saving Ramses was worth the risk, but what is a Witch without her magic? The ritual to visit The Otherside is immensely dangerous, but I am determined to meet with The Ancestors and plead my case. I'm not sorry that I abused my powers to save Ramses. I plead my case but If I become one of them, I will never leave this place. Unfortunately, I dug my grave, now I have to lie in my coffin while they slam the lid shut.

Love's Eternal Way Sixteen-year-old Serenity Palmer's biggest problem should be avoiding her father's arranged marriage contract with Thomas Blake, the arrogant senior who's made her life miserable for three years. But when a school trip to a French château triggers vivid dreams of a past life, Serenity discovers she and Thomas were once lovers—murdered on the eve of their 1722 wedding. As memories of their tragic death resurface, Serenity realizes their history teacher, Mrs. Hargrove, is the reincarnation of the obsessed servant who killed them. Worse, she's orchestrated this entire trip to finish what she started three centuries ago. With Thomas's best friend Louis—who harbors secrets of his own past-life memories—and Serenity's friend Ava, they uncover a conspiracy spanning five lifetimes. Mrs. Hargrove isn't working alone. The real mastermind is someone much closer to home: Thomas's best friend Axel, the reincarnation of a spurned nobleman who has spent centuries manipulating their relationship from the shadows. Every cruel word Thomas ever spoke, every moment of distance between them, was carefully orchestrated to keep them apart. Now, trapped in the same château where they once died, Serenity and Thomas must break a cycle of obsession and revenge that has followed them through multiple lifetimes. But breaking free will require the ultimate sacrifice—and a love powerful enough to rewrite the rules of life and death itself. A supernatural romance about soulmates who refuse to let death have the final word, Love's Eternal Way explores how true love transcends time, memory, and even the grave. Some bonds are eternal—but so is the hatred of those who would destroy them. Perfect for fans of reincarnation, romance, and paranormal suspense.

Annabella has spent her life as the invisible daughter, the "little mouse" her brother mockingly named her. As the Beta's third-in-line heir, she should command respect. Instead, she endures her father Eugene's abuse in silence, documenting everything with hidden cameras while treasuring anonymous gifts from a secret admirer who sees her worth. For three years, she's found solace in Lucious, the second-born Alpha Heir who defies his brothers' cruel jokes to love her openly. But on her eighteenth birthday, everything changes. The mate bond doesn't just snap into place with Lucious; it ignites with all six Alpha Heirs. A legendary sixfold bond, the rarest connection their kind has known in centuries. Before Annabella can process this revelation, her world shatters. Her father didn't just abuse her; he sold her. A contract with the Moon Slashers Pack, half a million dollars, and a plan to rip her from Lucious's arms and deliver her to another Alpha's bed. Her brother Tate, her supposed protector, helped orchestrate it all. When Eugene's betrayal explodes at her coming-of-age breakfast, Annabella's forced first shift becomes a desperate flight for survival. Six mates who failed to protect her now race to prove their worth. A father willing to destroy anyone in his path to power. A mother she believed dead for five years: alive, drugged, imprisoned. And hidden camera footage revealing a conspiracy that spans multiple packs, threatens the Alpha's reign, and exposes a trafficking ring built on selling she-wolves like livestock. The little mouse was never weak. She was waiting for her moment to roar. Six mates. One truth. And chains that are finally breaking.

Jessiah is a make-up artist aspiring to break into the modeling and beauty industry. She moves to LA when she lands a job at one of the biggest production companies in Hollywood. On her first week on the job, she meets Jenson Ross, a big-deal actor with a murky past and a dark secret only a privileged few know about. × Genres: Romance, Werewolf, Crime EXCERPT [BOOK I of CALI ALPHAS ] _ _ _ "Dollface," he murmured with a little smirk. He snickered and caressed the back of her head, pulling her closer to his chest. "You're like an antidepressant, in human form." Her breath caught.  Her heart sped up when his hug tightened. His warm face pressed onto her neck, his strong hands lightly squeezing her hips. Moments like this only worsened her attraction to him.  The flirty jokes, the easy conversations, the small smiles, his furtive glances, and his unusually sweet gestures lately... She was in deep trouble. Was he kissing her neck?  Shit. He was no longer thinking straight.  About this. About her. About the consequences. He drew her closer when she tried to pull away. As if he didn't want her out of his sight. While his beard scraped her skin, his thighs touched hers. Her throat ached as he stared into her eyes. "Dammit," he sighed, his thumb tracing the curve of her neck, his touch both gentle and eager.  "Why are you so f-cking beautiful?"  "Joss, I need to g—" "Why now?" he murmured, stroking her cheek. He wasn't acting drunk or playing with her.  Not like this. He wouldn't. Not with her real feelings barely held together by some unspoken truths. Otherwise he wouldn't dare let it get this far.  But why wouldn't he let go? "Just stay. Please. Stay here with me." _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Anibersaryo ng kasal namin nang mag-post ang high school sweetheart ng asawa ko ng sonogram picture sa kanyang social media, na may caption na public thank-you sa asawa ko: [Salamat sa lalaking nandiyan para sa akin sa loob ng sampung taon, at sa pagbibigay sa akin ng anak.] Umikot ang kwarto, at namuo ang galit sa akin habang mabilis akong nagkomento: [So, proud ka sa pagiging homewrecker?] Halos kaagad, tumawag ang asawa ko, puno ng galit ang boses. "Paano mo nagawa na mag isip ng nakakasuklam na bagay? Ang ginawa ko lang ay tulungan siya sa IVF, natupad ang pangarap niyang maging single mom.” "At oo nga pala, kailangan lang ni Ruby ng isang subok para mabuntis, habang ikaw ay may tatlong round ng walang resulta. Walang kwenta ang katawan mo!" Tatlong araw lang ang nakalipas, sinabi niya sa akin na pupunta siya sa ibang bansa para sa negosyo—hindi pinapansin ang aking mga tawag at mensahe sa buong panahon. Akala ko busy lang siya. Gayunpaman, sa huli ay kasama niya pala si Ruby, dumadalo sa prenatal checkup nito. Makalipas ang kalahating oras, muling nag-post si Ruby, na ipinakita ang isang mesa na puno ng masasarap na pagkain. [Nagsawa ako sa French food, kaya ginawa ni Ash ang lahat ng paborito kong pagkain. The best talaga siya!] Napatitig ako sa pregnancy test sa kamay ko, ang saya na naramdaman ko kanina, ngayon ay tuluyan ng nawala. Matapos ang walong taong pag-ibig at anim na taon ng paglunok ng aking pride para lang manatiling buhay ang kasal, sa wakas ay handa na akong bumitaw.