Funny Adult Jokes

Hazel doesn’t like boys, in fact, she stays as far away from them as possible. She wears baggy clothes, doesn’t do makeup and tries her best to go unnoticed. Her plan worked… for a while, until she got the baddest boy in her university hot on her tails. Worst of all? He is her roommate. How will she possibly survive ? Cover by : FatimaZahra970 (Wattpad)

Book two of the Alpha's Phoenix mate! Melissa is a simple illiterate human village girl who dreams of going to school and becoming an architectural designer but her dreams get shattered when she is forced to marry a man five times her age. She finds a way to get out of the marriage and with the help of Kaira, goes to a different country where she meets Dean. Dean is the alpha of Black phantom pack who's been waiting to find his mate but after finally finding her, he gets shattered when he realises that she not only is an innocent little girl but also a human who isn't interested in love

After a night of reckless indulgence, driven by the intoxicating allure of alcohol, her life began to unravel. She watched helplessly as everything she held dear - her lover, her family, her flourishing career - slipped away. Following her father's mysterious and untimely death, she transformed from a wealthy heiress into a humble rural dweller. Years later, returning to the bustling streets of New York with her two young children, she was determined to unearth the hidden truths of her past. Who was the enigmatic father of her children? What secrets surrounded her father's demise, and who was responsible for the downfall of their once-mighty family business? In her quest for justice, she confronted a world veiled in corporate conspiracies and personal vendettas. Yet, beneath the city's frenetic surface, a more profound darkness awaited. In the heart of this journey for truth and redemption, her two innocent children became her beacons of hope. Their laughter, innocence, and unwavering love provided her with the strength to face a world as unpredictable as it was unforgiving. Amidst the chaos of New York, her children were the anchors that kept her grounded in the face of adversity, offering the courage to confront a capricious world.

Tara isn't your everyday beauty shit she wasn't a size 0 runway model, she was curvey thick and flawless nonetheless. It took her years to see that in herself after going through the ups and downs of being tossed through the foster system she had all but lost her faith in herself. This is why she chooses to become an advocate for foster kids like her. When she first launched her UFCP program she had only one private supporter. Now here she was at a huge charity banquet representing her program publicly and the program would now be recognized nationally. It was like a dream come true especially when she runs into the investor who happens to be an old friend from the foster system who was in the same house as her. Giovanni Berlusconi, he had glowed up since she last saw him all those years ago and he apparently felt the same about her. The only problem was he was a mafia king pin and Tara might have known much about the mob, but she sure as hell knew she wanted no parts of it. Especially after two of her colleagues end up dead in a mysterious car crash after questioning Gio's family connections to the recent spike in missing persons cases in the city. Tara had tried to blow him off politely but Gio wasn't having it. Stopping by her office unannounced. Tara was desperate to avoid the mob boss at all cost that is until she accidentally stumbles on to a private family meeting and witnesses him killing someone. Now she has only two choices marry the very man she fears or die.

Xavier is on the verge of giving up and settling for what his life is -grueling, onerous, and insipid. Sierra is a woman with dreams as big as the sun but a heart as rigid as a rocky mountain. She is constantly facing obstacles and has a hard time letting go and healing from events of her past. These two are least likely to make a match but when the odds are in favor, hope blossoms for them. On the other hand, Xander is an accomplished man with the power kings crave and intellect that the world envies atop a slight maniacal charm. Between the two underground kings, Xavier and Xander, lies the only queen left- Sierra -she has to choose between a mysterious love full of surprises or love that she could only dream of. In this compelling novel, we take a new approach to whimsical romance, banter, and the grim side of reality. Find out how the story unfolds, twists, and turns in this revolutionary book - My Altered Mate. by Lothaire.

Winter is a rebellious 18-year-old werewolf who is destined to become the Luna Queen of the wolves. Her parents have arranged her marriage with another werewolf named Ryker, whom she has never met or knows anything about. Winter doesn't want to marry him; she feels she is too young to be married and wants the chance to find her true mate. Her two best friends, Elena the fairy and Lillie the witch, promise to help her escape her family. Elena was born without wings, something that has never happened in the fairy world, and Lillie struggles to control her powers. If she doesn't learn how to control them, they will be taken from her. Their friendship is forbidden by all their families. The story follows their friendship as they learn about their powers and try to protect each other from the dangers that lie ahead. Will Winter find her mate? Will Elena discover the secret behind why she doesn't have wings? Will Lillie ever gain control over her powers? And most importantly, will their forbidden friendship be able to withstand all the challenges it will face? Together with her friends, she defies expectations and embraces her destiny as not just a leader but as a fiercely independent woman who will shape her own fate.

Christmas is the most magical time of the year, right? That may be true for most people but not Julia. Julia has never had an easy life, she has been homeless for as long as she can remember and now she is raising a three-year-old the same way. She wants more for them both but she has no way of changing things, besides she's soon going to have to leave the only place that she's ever called home to keep them both safe. If anyone finds out her secret her world will be blown apart and that's something that she can't allow to happen. Riley has had the best life imaginable. He has loving parents, grandparents and his best friend Joshua has been by his side since he was a young child. He also runs several successful businesses and has everything he wants in life except for one thing... love. He wants someone to love, to cherish but his past still has a tight grip on him and holds a secret that not even he knows about. What will happen when both worlds collide? Can Julia get the Christmas that she has always dreamed of for her and her little girl? Can Riley learn to forget his past so that he can move forward and when Juila's secret is revealed and blows both of their worlds apart, will it bring them together or tear them even further apart and destroy Julia's world, just like she has always feared it would?

Sext Buddy: [I’d do anything to fuck you right now.] Alicia: [I want you so bad too…really.] During the summer, Alicia has been sexting with a total stranger in hopes that she’d never meet him. At the beginning of college, her mum tells her that they have a guest. She meets the stranger she was constantly sexting. But then, what happens when the stranger is her cousin?

Cassandra Johnson is Pixie. Pixie is Cassandra Johnson. She's the same girl who's leading two extremely different lives. Nobody would suspect the school's nerd as Pixie. 'Cause Pixie's a street fighter badass and the nerd does not have a single badass bone in her body. The chances of people discovering this peculiar secret is close to none but of course this is where fate inserts the certified new boy into the equation and makes an exception for him. Warning: heavy flow of profanities ahead. - and tears - or so I've heard.

Jadie is the only daughter of the Beta family. The youngest of three, Jadie feels out of place in her home. When she decides to move across country to find herself, the last thing she expected to happen was for her to not only run into her mate, but to be rejected by him too. With a clouded vision of her future, the only way Jadie can be pulled out of her gloomy state is to befriend his best friend and Alpha, Lincoln. With Lincoln’s help, Jadie adventures to find her new version of normal and fulfill the true reason she moved to Michigan. Along the way, secrets of Lincoln’s are revealed that make her realize they are a lot closer than she ever thought.