Funny Jokes For Adults

This isn't a fairytale. Mirror Mirror on the wall. A fairytale that became her fall. “Over my dead body will I let a man whore father my child. You're in every way incapable, irresponsible and definitely incompetent of becoming a father.” She said with a smile. "Stop acting like a saint, you're not one. You're only pregnant because you're a slut yourself, so what exactly is the difference between you and me?” She stepped up to him with a mocking smile. “Maybe, I'll show him pictures.” Anger flared up inside him. Who the fuck does she think she is? “Show him pictures!?" His fingers grabbed her throat. His eyes held hers. She didn't flinch, instead, a small smile played on her lips. Crazy ass bitch. He isn't used to being challenged. “I don't need to beg you for anything.” He growled. "You have no other option.” She scoffed. "I have a lot of options, Kim.” He continued. "I can take him away from you after birth,” “I want to see you try.” The smile on his face told her otherwise. “What will you do? Take me to court? Fight for custody?” He chuckled. “I can bribe the whole fucking court.” Her heart skipped a beat. No. "You don't get to decide.” He lit a cigarette. "Everything will go my way.” "It'll not!” “Maybe I'll show him your pictures. Or let you visit him once a week, who knows?" He shrugged. “This is my child!" She screamed, tears welled up in her eyes. “So it's either you do as I say, or I'll do as I please." “What do you want?" Hot tears rolled down her cheeks. “Where I come, illegitimate children aren't accepted in the family." “I'm not marrying you!" “I'll never marry you!" She screamed. "You have no choice..”

When sweet and shy Ava Banks meets mysterious Tobias Aetós, she was swept off her feet. Literally. She had no idea he'd turn out to be the infamous Reaper who plagued the streets. Just a whisper of the name Reaper would make a grown man tremble. Tobby had lived his whole life as an assassin and he never questioned his life's choices... Not until a ray of sunshine in the shape of Ava, waltzed into his life. Through the ups and downs, the killings and the torture, the crime and the thrill...has Tobias gone past redemption? Or will Ava be just what he needs to make him whole again?

ELIAN CARPENTER; 24 year old, 6’4 blonde who can only earn a living by picking pockets and doing other petty crimes in order to take care of his disabled sibling. His life takes a drastic turn when he finds an odd note in a stolen wallet. Now he is off to the Stone mansion to commit his biggest crime yet; steal the heir's heart. AIDEN STONE; The 26 year old heir to the Stone family fortune, In order to access his inheritance, his father dictates he must be married but due to an abusive childhood he developed severe social anxiety which makes it difficult for him to form connections. luckily his father never specified who he should married.

Upang matakasan ang isang arrange marriage, ginawa ni Zea ang lahat para lamang hindi maipakasal sa taong ni sa hinagap ay hindi niya nakilala at mas lalong hindi niya mahal. Nang magawang makatakas ay nag tungo siya sa hindi pamilyar na lugar na sa tingin niya ay hindi siya mahahanap ng kanyang lolo. Natagpuan niya ang isang napakalaking gate kung saan sa malayuan ay ang mala-haciendang tahanan. Dala ng kakuryosohan ay sinubukan niyang pumasok at lumibot sa lugar na pinagsisihan niya dahil sa lalaking walang habas na hinila siya papasok ng hacienda at basta na lamang siyang ginawang katulong. Dahil walang sapat na pera at bahay na matitirhan ay wala siyang magagawa kung hindi sapilitang tanggapin ang naging kapalaran. Ang dating magarang buhay niya ay magbabago. Ayos lang kung ang kapalit naman nito ay makatakas siya sa bagay na ayaw niya. Akala niya ay nagawa na niyang makatakas kahit pansamantala ngunit hindi naman niya inakala na yun pa pala ang maglalapit sa kanya sa isang bagay na pilit niyang iniiwasan.

Alessia realizes that forcing marriage with the only man she loved was her greatest mistake when Thompson, her husband, returns with his fated mate. Even after bearing his child, Thompson's indifference remained. He uses Alessia solely to maintain his reputation. Fate decides to cast a faint hue of light into Alessia’s bleak existence as she's unconsciously drawn to Lycan Cyril, the enigmatic Lycan king whose deadly aura awakens dormant existence. But is this really fate granting her salvation or the other way around? Especially when Lycan Cyril's obsession ignites upon discovering Alessia possessed the rare feature he searched his whole life for? And when Thompson becomes resistant to relinquishing his hold on Alessia?

Emma is living every fangirl's dream: her new CEO is her celebrity crush, and she'll be working with her favourite K-pop idols as a designer. Her new CEO, Park Hyun Bin, is a former K-pop idol with a controversial past and now founder of an entertainment company. Emma ends up in his bed, and what was meant to be a one night stand turns into more. But as a long-term fangirl, Emma knows fooling around with a popular ex-idol could spell doom for her if the fandoms and media catch wind of what's going on. Will the unexpected feelings that bloom between them survive when scandal after scandal—and furious fans and antis alike —threaten to tear them apart?

A rich kid offers to pay anyone who'll be his companion to a ball ten thousand dollars. My roommate stops me from responding. "He's just a rich guy fishing for fun—he's using money to play around with women! Are you going to offer yourself to him for money? We can't be gold diggers!" My mother is sick, though. She needs my scholarship money to save her life. To my devastation, my roommate latches onto a school board member and takes away my scholarship. She even mocks me. "With your looks, you could've sold yourself for money. Here's a hundred bucks to compensate you." That's not all—an AI face-swapped picture of me are posted online. Countless people harass me because of them. My mother doesn't want to drag me down, so she takes her life. I break down and choose to jump off a building. When I open my eyes again, I'm taken back to the first day of the semester. The rich kid is looking for a female companion. I immediately say, "I'm the companion you've been looking for, sir!"

Summary Charlotte Green already knew what it was like to replace her sister; her relationship with her, which lasted more than ten years, was a perfect example. Unable to have Cecilia, her twin, he opted for the next best thing. After years of leading her on, he dumped her on their anniversary, confessing that he could never forget Cecilia. Her parents were now wondering how to do it again, except that she would have to marry this man. Hayden Maxwell, a man said to have the Midas gift. He built himself from nothing by making calculated and often lucrative choices for his business, which generated profits and made him a billionaire by his thirties. He was also Cecilia's one-night stand, who became engaged, at least before he lost his sight in a terrible accident. Cecilia no longer wanted to go ahead with the marriage, all eyes in the Green family were on Charlotte, disabled or not, Hayden Maxwell was still one of the most powerful men in town, they couldn't call off the wedding a week later, so there was only one option left.

Winter Stevens is a college student visiting her mom for the holidays and for her mom's wedding. She plans to move home from Georgia back to West Virginia after her break-up. Winter is witty and not afraid to speak her mind, especially when it comes to a certain she-wolf. Blake Conners is the future Alpha of the Snowstorm Pack who hasn't found his mate yet. Until he meets Winter. Blake's wolf, Shadow, is already in love with Winter the moment they meet and Blake matches Shadow's love. Blake learns of Winter's family history after following her one day where he will learn of the auburn hair girl who captured his heart as a pup. Secrets will unravel and truths will be told as Winter is confronted by a jealous she-wolf. Will Winter accept Blake once she learns the truth about herself? Dear Readers, I love reading stories of werewolves so I wanted to try my hand at writing a novel. This is not your typical “abused omega” wolf story. I hope you fall in love with the characters as much as I have. I am still currently in the process of writing so please bear with me. My goal is to upload a chapter or two everyday. Please show your support by commenting and sending gifts. Thank you for giving my story a chance <3

Liam is a young selfmade multimillionaire who has never wanted a lasting relationship with a woman. All that matters is keeping his business stable. Then he meets Ariana, a sweet yet innocent girl. Despite the fact that their first meeting is not the most graceful one, she manages to drill into his heart slowly by slowly until he can't stay away from her. Pleasing a Billionaire is not easy, especially if he doesn't want anything to do with love or having a lasting relationship. Will Aria be able to convince him otherwise? Do you think Liam will adjust his preferences and end up letting Aria own his heart or will it only be for the pleasure?