Funny Phrases Tumblr Novels & Stories

If I was going to suffer this, the girls were coming down with me. I fired the screenshot and the photo into the group chat with a caption that dripped with sarcasm. Tiana: 'Hey girls, if this is what dating apps are all about, I’m done before I even begin. My eyes need bleaching.' The response was instantaneous. The chat suddenly filled with laughing-crying emojis. Cleo, never one to miss a beat, sent a series of gifs showing people dunking biscuits in cups of tea. Marissa: 'Just give it a chance, Ti! There might be some ballers among those ballsers. Maybe he just has a very... specific sense of humour?'

I sigh as she thinks of more phrases to try. "baby relax",she scrunches her face. " supercalifragilisticexpialidocious",she says and we howl in full belly laughs. The guards turn their back to us to compose themselves. "May,I pant, please stop baby",My stomach hurts from laughing so hard. " the web ,go web go spider web",she is trying anything even Spiderman.

What the fuck! #TBC

James and Em expected, but Fi, seriously, you. "Aw, Justin, come on. It's just a joke." She said. "Hilarious." James butted in. "Hilarious is also an understatement." Em interrupted him. "Yeah, right, and look how hard I am laughing. Hahaha." Justin said sarcastically. "Justin, what if the same joke was cracked on James?" Fiona suggested it. "Hahaha!! well, that would have been beyond hilarious, right Jamie?" Justin was laughing now. "Give me a hi-fy for that, Justin." Em and Justin gave each other Hy FY.

I'm so fucked. *****************************************

Harmony I was trying to prevent myself from shaking while I was staring at my laptop. I don’t know what to feel about a post on Friendbook related to me. While I was trying to calm down, I continued to stare at a photo posted with a mocking caption. It was me, standing on a stage while in the midst of holding back my tears. The caption says, "Wow, look at your dumb rich girl stuttering through a debate. Is that all you can do? "

Why was today the day everyone decided to attack me emotionally? I typed carefully so I wouldn’t embarrass myself: ME: its okay i was busy too ME: and yeah i missed talking too you lol Immediately I regretted the “lol.” Why do I type like a malfunctioning toaster? MAX: you’re kind of cute when u type like that not going to lie I stared at that message for a solid ten seconds, then grabbed a pillow and screamed into it like a dying squirrel. My legs were kicking the air. My soul was doing somersaults.

I leaned up on my elbows and sat on the couch, looking at my friends. "Just posted on I*******m. #S'cute #BestFriendGoalsz #AdorablelikeKittenandPuppiesyaozie #SleepingGoals #TwoHormonalTeenagersFoundCuddlingInHeat #Goals2k20,” Rio muttered, typing furiously on his phone, and so did the others, speaking rubbish. My mind woke up a little. "What? Bitch in the heat?” I snickered, hiding my grin in the fist of my hand. “That sounds like a bad porn title.”

Heat floods my cheeks. "What's wrong?" Vincent asks, his eyes narrowing slightly. "Nothing!" I say too quickly, then blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. "I was just thinking that turtlenecks make people look like fancy thumbs." There's a beat of silence. Then Vincent laughs, a genuine laugh that transforms his entire face, making him look younger and less dangerous. "Fancy thumbs?" I want to die. "I didn't—that was stupid, I don't know why I—"

“YEAH ! LET THE UNINVITED MOTHERFVCKER GET A TASTE OF ALL OUR ATTENTION AND LOVE” “KILL ! KILL ! KILL !” “BARBECUE HIS ASS, FVCKERS !!” “EVERYONE SHUT THE “HELL” UP ! SEE ? SEE ? WHAT I DID THERE ?” “YEAH SUCKER. YOU USED A PUN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YOUR LIFE” “HELL NO ! I AM PUN LORD” “NO YOU ARE POOP LORD. THAT’S IT” “SHUT UP, GUYS ! YOU ARE BEING SO UNCOOL”