Novelas y relatos de Funny Random Things To Say

"Does this mean I can expect turds landing on me every so often when I do or say something stupid?" I laugh again. "Oh, dragonbreath, you'll do or say something stupid every day. Between being green and turds landing on you, I've got you covered." Now it's Ashrac's laugh filling my head.

I wanted to say something smart, something funny, something that didn’t scream oh my God yes please ruin me. But all that came out was a shaky, “Okay.”

"Well, that was an interesting morning." -------------------------------------------------------------- A/N Hey guysss Since there was no joke in the beginning let's do one now! Some people cause happiness wherever they go... Others cause happiness whenever they go. Ok maybe that one wasn't that good haha Anyways HAVE A FLIPPIN GREAT DAY MWAH :)))

I asked. “Two.” He grinned. “And the second was…?” “My mom.” Everyone laughed. “You’re a miser,” Laila said, frowning. “Why?” “The world is already too cruel and harsh—for you, for me, for everyone—not to say something kind to others. You never know if someone’s having a rough day, and your random compliment might be the thing that lifts their spirits. You should try it sometime.” Laila exclaimed frowning. “For cheering others up I crack jokes.” Lucas shrugged.

"I am sorry; I didn't mean to call you uh-bitch. It just kind of, sort of came out and-" He laughed, his eyes crinkling with amusement. "It's okay. In fact even I can use it. Many people call me weird too." We are all a little weird in our own little weird way. That's what makes us different. I sighed, "Yeah sure. Wait! No. That's cheating, you can't steal my dialogue. Make one for yourself."

Life’s so unfair, man. “What does a spoon matter when we’re literally stuck in the middle of the woods with invisible monsters, shady, bad men and whatever else creeps around here? Can you please, for once, use your brain and kick some sense in the gear?” He whisper-hisses, so red in the face, he reminds me of a tomato. “You could join a casting for vegetable commercials looking like this,” I remark and laugh at the brilliant joke my brain just reacted. Shit, am I not the funniest guy out there? Look at me - sense of humor, looks, body and an impressive spoon collection, I have it all, damn it. No wonder my little vixen couldn’t deny me.

] "One of the things I like about him... He's a corny joker." ["Like what?"] I clap my hands once. "About teleporting mosquitos. Anyhow, he can make me laugh." ["He could have learned from me~ To make a woman laugh is to make them fall for that man."] "Like what?" ["Hmm, what do you call a mosquito inside the mosquito net?"] "What?"

"I knew right then she wasn't cut out for the big leagues." That was a recital when I was eight years old. It was my first time facing such a large audience, and I did get stage fright. But Rhys was the first one to rush onto the stage to comfort me back then. He told me, "Maeve, you played wonderfully. Those people just don't understand music." Now he was using it to humiliate me. Laughter echoed through the room, and my cheeks burned. He was mocking me in public, turning my past humiliation into a punchline.

He had some interesting sayings. All of you with your ‘fucks' and ‘asses,' that takes no brains to say. Merely verbal filler of an empty mind. At least when I speak, I have things of importance to say. Yeah, like telling Ransom about his magic. I'm still not happy about that part, Ten. I was going to do it.

He was funny most of the time but somehow managed to take some of his jokes a little too far. “I like your creativity, but no. Come on, let’s make this a little more interesting people!” I said, now already done with my cider. Dante offered me another one which I wasted no time in raising to my lips. And as I did, everyone took their turn in guessing what activities had been occupying my time. They ranged from assassin training to nude painting and admittedly, we all laughed and drank ourselves silly until Randy yelled out, “Dante hasn’t said what he guessed. Tell her Dante, tell her your lame guess.” Dante rolled his eyes before saying, “It’s not lame!”