Funny Sarcastic Quotes

I found out I was pregnant in the middle of a fight with my husband. How should I tell him without embarrassing myself too much? I decided to ask the Internet, and the netizens gave me a ton of advice based on their years of experience reading novels. One, run away with your unborn baby. Two, pretend to gag over lunch. Three, put his number into the abortion registration form… When he came to me in a frenzy, I belatedly realized, ‘Crap, I think I went too far!’

To the world, I was Mrs. Ward—the untouchable queen beside the mafia king of New York, Elias Ward. But I knew my husband never loved me. His heart had always belonged to Harper Dinah. His nephew’s wife. And after that nephew conveniently died, Elias brought her into our mansion, “I just want to take better care of her,” he’d said. And his version of “care” was where he’d throw a man out of a party for daring to flirt with Harper and got her pregnant. Elias likes to praise me in public like I was the perfect wife to him. And I was. I helped build his empire. I was the one who smiled and played nice. I made his casino shine while he hid Harper away like she was something sacred. Because of all that praising, one of his enemies set his sights on me. They took me. Sent Elias a message soaked in blood and threats: Back off. Leave New York. Or your pretty wife dies. Of course, Elias didn’t choose to back off.. “Just wait,” he said over the phone, “They won’t hurt you, Noa. You’re leverage. Just hold on until Harper gives birth. Then I’ll come for you.” Eight months of being held in a filthy hole, starved, beaten, degraded. The gang leader raped me over and over again. And still, Elias never came. Finally, I escaped when they were all drunk. Went home, only find my twins sleeping in the maid’s room, eating scraps while Elias was too busy hosting a party for his newborn. I didn’t confront him, just packed my babies and disappear.

Life has a funny way of throwing curveballs, and for Ella Blake, it was a fastball right to the heart. On the same day she discovered she was pregnant, her husband, Lucas, dropped a bombshell: his childhood sweetheart, Amy, was also expecting—and he wanted Ella to raise the child. Talk about a double whammy! Devastated and feeling utterly betrayed, Ella packed her bags and left the life she once knew, vowing never to look back. Fast forward six years, and she's back, but with a new look and a fierce attitude. Lucas can’t believe his luck when he spots her, mistaking their chemistry for a chance to rekindle their past. But with secrets, old feelings, and Amy reappearing with her own bombshell, can Ella find a way to reclaim her heart, or will revenge take the wheel? What will happen when the past collides with the present?

Riley Miller, the girl of a strong colorful imagination and a crazy wish list, never thought that her wishes for something different and an exciting dramatic life along with some romance would come really come true. She was a crazy girl full of life, and adventure. She was the life of the party, leaving an impact and catching eyes of the people everywhere she went. Her charming and entertaining personality, bubbly aura, and sarcastic comebacks never failed to leave everyone in awe. Then again, she also never thought a cocky Alpha, previously stalker, would become her roommate, make her fall for him and give her all she’d ever wish for. Supernatural stuff, drama, excitement, action and adventure, and hot dudes. Mix in a couple of best friends, a psychotic ex, a traitor, superpowers and the enemy that has been hunting since the last hundred years for his revenge and you’re bound to get a venturesome life. Which is all she wants. Hunter Axel Knight, God of Werewolves also known as The Chosen One, the most powerful werewolf to ever exist has longed for his mate since decades, centuries even. So when he finally encounters his mate, he is the happiest man alive and vows to do everything for her safety and happiness. She was a human but he couldn’t care less. Learning about his mate’s desire and wishes, he disguises himself as an ordinary man in hopes to make her fall for him and then revealing himself and his world to her. But when secrets are revealed, mysteries are solved, and people are exposed, things may not be as they seem. After all, what we see from our eyes is not always the truth. ~My Socials ~ Fb : https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100069959992913 Instagram : @_maia_june_

Calvin walked unsteadily towards Emily with a sly grin. A faint smile remained on his lips until Calvin stood right in front of Emily. "Is there something wrong if I change clothes in my own room?" Calvin stopped right in front of Hasna without breaking their eye contact at all. "After all, we are husband and wife, it's fine for me to be naked in front of you, right?" Calvin teased as he pried open Emily's hands which were still covering her face. "I'm not ready yet, Calvin, will you shut up your finches first?" Emily demanded, still keeping both hands covering her eyes. "Hahaha, this is Emily's eagle, not a finch," Calvin corrected because he felt insulted if the heirloom weapon he had carefully guarded for 29 years was called a finch. "Come on, open it! Take a look at my eagle!"

Kiara Azizah, seorang pelajar SMA yang terjebak perasaan rumit bersama dua pria sekaligus. Mereka adalah Angkasa Bagaskara, cowok dingin yang berstatus sebagai kekasihnya. Dan Rio Merni, pria dewasa yang konyol dan begitu mendamba cintanya. Tentu penuh kebimbangan diantara dua pria yang sama-sama penuh dengan pesona itu. Siapakah yang akan Kiara pilih sebegai pelengkap hidupnya? Apakah cowok dingin dan ketus yang berhasil dia pacari? Atau pria dewasa yang penuh dengan sejuta kekocakan dan romantisnya? Ikuti perjalanan mendebarkan mereka!

Six Packs Series #1: Kagan Lombardi Just a blink to her reality, she finds it hard to believe. Dalshanta Ferrucci, a notorious gang leader, develops a strong feeling for a playboy who belongs to one of the hotties of Six Packs. However, her arrogance and hysteric summons the most attractive saint, Kagan Lombardi. (c) Copyright 2021 by Gian Garcia

Lia doesn't know why she's so unlucky when it comes to love, she's twenty-eight years old but still NBSB that even the people around her are worried... Which pushed her to enter a night bar. "Don't be nervous, Lia, you'll be happy with the main event of this bar!" Her friend excitedly said while looking at the stage. Before Lia could move and the women around started to cheer, a masked man came out wearing only a small cloth to hide his dick. "The bidding for him will start now!" the MC announced on the side. “29 thousand!” A woman screamed. "29 thousand, going twice, going trice, is there no one going to fight?" The MC asked. Lia didn't know what was going through her mind to raise her hand, "30 thousand!" She shouted before the bidding was closed. "30 thousand, the bidding is close! You'll have one hot night with him!"

Ryo Matsuda is the Prince of the Entertainment business but he is fed up with love. He always finds himself in a relationship where he was either just seen as a tool to enter the show business or as a living ATM. Liz Ross is a young passionate pastry chef. Her love life is nowhere close to the sweetness of the cakes she makes. She'd been in a number of relationships where she finds herself cheated on. Their world unexpectedly collided in a beautiful stroke of luck. Will they hold on to their promise to keep love out of their lives or will they take another gamble and give love a chance?

Leïla vivait pleinement sa vie sans problème ni soucis, elle est jovial, innocente, fragile, gentille et serviable, unique fille de ses parents, Leïla verras sa vie basculer du jour au lendemain à cause de la venue soudaine de sa tante qui, aussi serait sa belle mère au final.... mais est-ce réellement un mariage forcé ? Où pas ? Venez lire l'histoire de Leïla et Cheikh vous ne serez pas déçu car les suites seront croustillant