Funny Sentences That Make No Sense

On my birthday, the dining table was loaded with all my favorites. My mom had been cooking and baking the entire afternoon, insisting everything be perfect for when Mike got home from work so we could celebrate together. But then, he called and said his first love had been drugged at a bar, and he had to go help her. I stopped him and begged him not to go. Mike snapped at me. "Jesus, Em, don’t pull this jealous wife crap. She’s alone, defenseless, and unconscious—I can't let some random dude take advantage of her!" My mother heard those words and was so enraged that she had a heart attack. She died on the spot. Just like that, my mom died on my birthday. I called Mike, asking him to attend my mom's funeral. But before he could reply, I saw Cathy Miller's latest Instagram post, captioned: [Mikey… after all these years, it was always you.] Mike had liked it. My thumb moved before my brain caught up, typing out the only words that mattered: [A homewrecker and a lying bastard. Hope you rot together.]

Maxello was her best friend, the one she loved in silence for years Rolex was his twin. Darker and deadly tempting. One bet changed everything. Now Mia must choose between the brother she’s always wanted… and the one she can’t resist.

On my birthday, my fiancé used his supermarket points to get me a pair of dishwashing gloves. But at an auction, he bought a five-million-dollar gem for his first love. I was mad, confronting him, but he called me a gold digger. "I've been giving you money to spend. Isn't it only right that you take care of me? This was supposed to be my final test for you. If you passed, we'd get married. You've let me down big time." I broke up with him. He turned around and proposed to his first love. Five years later, we ran into each other on a private vacation island. Alex Thompson saw me in the workers' uniform picking up trash on the beach. He mocked me on the spot. "You turned your nose up at the gloves I got you, and here you are, scavenging garbage. Now, even if you begged me, I wouldn't give you a second glance." I ignored him. My son's social studies project was to clean up the backyard with a parent. His dad had expanded the yard all the way to the beach. Cleaning it up was exhausting.

When everything could possibly go wrong it does. She finds out that she’s in labor and her stepmother is forcing her to take her along with her. In the process because of the way that her stepmother had acted she ends up needing emergency surgery. That’s when her father accidentally found out through a blood test that he wasn’t her biological father. The stepmother finally has her revenge and manages to get the girl kicked out of the hospital that night. If it wasn’t for a handsome stranger coming to save her in the front of the hospital who knows what would’ve happened to her.

I thought I was signing a job contract. I didn’t know I was signing away my freedom. When desperation forces me into the office of billionaire CEO Adrian Blackwood, I accept a six-month personal assistant role that feels too perfect to be safe. The money is good. The rules are strict. And the man watching me across the table feels like he already knows how this ends. Adrian Blackwood is cold, powerful, and terrifyingly composed — a man who doesn’t make mistakes. And he didn’t hire me by accident. As lines blur between professionalism and possession, I begin to realize the contract isn’t the real danger. It’s him. And the truth I was never meant to find — not yet.

Can Ilongga beauty tame the dragon? Paano nga ba kung nakahanap ng katapat ang certified black sheep ng pamilya sa katauhan ng isang estranghera? Dahil sa isang malaking pustahan ng magbabarkada. Ycon, the deadliest CEO and the black sheep of the family ay aksidenteng nainlove sa isang titibo-tibong Ilongga. He was a certified womanizer in town. Katwiran ay pagdating ng panahon ipapakasal naman siya ng kanyang lolo sa babaeng hindi niya naman gusto pero nagmula sa maharlikang pamilya. Why not sulitin niya muna ang pagiging buhay binata, sayang ang genes kapag hindi natikman ng ibang chicks hindi ba? Hannah Maricor Evina Zaavedra, na taglay ang totoong tagline na basta "Ilongga Gwapa" The adopted daughter of The Zaavedra family in Iloilo. The cow girl, happy go lucky, always positive in life, maawain at mapagmahal kanino man. Paano kung magkrus ang landas ng dalawa at ang mga pinaniniwalaan ng bawat isa ay hindi magkatugma? Away-bati, aso't pusa, kulog at kidlat, araw at ulan, init at lamig ganito parati ang dalawa hanggang ang isa sa kanila ay nahulog na nga. Ngunit ang unti-unting nararamdamang ay mukhang magiging forever secret nalang sapagkat nagkaroon ng lamat ang angkan ng mga Lee at Zaavedra, dahil sa kinasangkutang eskandalo na ang pasimuno ay ang mismong ate ni Ycon at ang pinsan ni Hannah. At tila yata at inaayunan ng tadhana dahil makalipas ang walong taon ay mauungkat muli ang nakaraan sa aksidenteng pagtatagpo ng landas ng dalawa sa isang sikat na isla ng Boracay sa Aklan, at sa wakas nagkaroon nga ng pagkakataon na maisakatuparan ang dati nang plano na paghigantihan ang dalaga. "What happens in Boracay stays in Boracay." But that planned night na sa huli ay kanyang pagsisisihan dahil sa mga sikretong malalaman. Magkaka-forever pa kaya ang dalawa? Hay ang gulo-gulo na talaga!

Si Brittany Laxamana ay ang tipo ng babae na hindi naniniwala sa love . Bukod doon naiirita na rin siya sa kakambal niya dahil kung sino sino ang nirereto nito sakan'ya dahil hindi naman siya interesado at lalong ayaw niya muna ng mga usapang pag-ibig dahil alam niyang sa simula lang lahat magagaling. Pero nag bago ang papanaw niyang iyon ng dumating ang hindi niya inaasahang tao. naging mag kaibigan sila at aaminin niyan g naging masaya siya. ngunit 'di niya inaasahan na mamahalin niya 'to bukod sa kaibigan. THAT STRANGER GOT MY HEART!! -Britanny Maniniwala na kaya siya sa love? Magbabago na kaya ang papanaw niya sa pag ibig dahil sa lalakeng ito?

In high school, Ivy Monroe was the quiet nerd no one noticed—except when they were laughing at her. And Liam Calloway? He led the laughter. Now Ivy’s all grown up—famous, flawless, and filthy rich. She’s the CEO of her own luxury fashion brand, and she’s never looked back... until her father drops a bomb, “You’re getting married. To him.” That’s right. Liam freaking Calloway. The arrogant golden boy who once humiliated her in front of the entire school is now the heir to a crumbling empire. And the only way to save both their families is to tie the knot. Ivy agrees, but with rules. No touching. No feelings. And definitely no falling in love. But Liam isn’t the same boy from high school. He’s hotter, cockier, and way too determined to make their fake marriage feel a little too real. Let the games begin. Because this time, she’s the one holding the power. And he has no idea what he’s up against.

Three years into my marriage with Shawn, I found out I was pregnant. I nervously but joyfully prepared to surprise him with the news. Yet what I received was the news of Shawn’s accidental death. Devastated by the blow, I miscarried the child and killed myself in despair. However, after death, I saw him drinking and mocking me with his rowdy friends. “Samantha is so dumb. I can’t believe she really fell for that prank. Does she really think I’d be fooled by her? I’m not an idiot like her. What, she’s pregnant? If she was going to make up something to fool me, she should have at least made it more believable.” But our child really was gone, and I had really died.

One night of freedom. One reckless dare. One one night mistake they never saw coming. Yukisha has a long-time suitor ready to fight for her heart. Xavier is bound by an arranged marriage — a pact meant to secure his future. But in the heat of that night, all plans faded away. Their secret encounter in a car sparked a fire neither could put out, a story that reaches far beyond that one night mistake. Will fate bring them together again? And can they fight against all odds for a love that seems forbidden?