Funny Sexual Jokes

Book I of the 'His' series. What does Alexandria do when the landlord decides to increase the rent? She looks for a roommate!! Mason King just moved to town and he's looking for an apartment. He comes across Alexandria's request for a roommate. He thought she was just a quiet,shy,nerdy girl. But boy was he wrong!

Devin King was my first—well, everything. They say you never forget your first. Whoever said that was right because no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get him out of my head or my heart. I foolishly thought my heart wouldn’t miss what it couldn’t see, but I was wrong because I never forgot, not for one moment. You’re not supposed to kiss your best friend. You’re not supposed to give your virginities to one another, either—but we did. We were kids, teenagers, full of hormones and mixed emotions, but it felt right. He was the first boy to kiss me, the first boy to touch me and taste me in a way only a lover would. “Say you want to be mine….” He whispered while I shook in his arms. And I did. And then he wrecked me. After I trusted him and gave myself to him, he disappeared, left me in my , the scent of him still lingering on my skin, the taste of his kiss still fresh on my lips. He left me after the amazing night we shared after we became one another’s and disappeared without a word. Until one day ten years later he pops up like a rash as the newly appointed CEO of our firm. Was I shocked to see him standing in the office after a decade? Yes. Did I almost faint? Hell yes. My heart may have melted a little when he smiled right at me, but he wouldn’t ever know that—because I hated him. But here I am, the VP of an established publication firm standing in the CEO’s office handcuffed to the pompous face. Why are we handcuffed you ask? Well, that's a funny story...

A young girl is married off to an Alpha by her parents against her will. She is forced to leave her old life behind and move in with the Alpha, who is known for his power and control within the pack. Despite her initial resistance, she eventually comes to accept her new life alongside Alpha Aiden. However, she soon realizes that the Alpha is a cruel and abusive man who uses his position to control her every move. Aiden wanted the title and in order to receive it he had to take a wife. As Grabiela is about to enter his life, Aiden decides to make it fun and turn it into a game, with her as the main pond, between him and his friends. When the abuse and lies weigh too heavy she realizes that she has to leave but will he let her go? Or will he tighten his grip and lock the doors? ”I’m guessing the meeting wasn't to talk about the food arrangements for when you take over the pack?” ”They’ve arranged for me to marry Gabriella Santos from the Trimoon pack,” ”So what, when have you ever backed down from a challenge?” ”How is tying my life to another in marriage, a challenge?” ”The challenge is to make her submit to you.” ”We’ll make it more interesting-” ”- I bet you won't be able to get it done before the end of the year,” ”I’ll have her submitting to me by the end of the month,” ”Not just submit. You have to have her wrapped around your finger, hopelessly in love with you by the end of the year,” ”Ten grand to whoever wins,” ***Explicit sexual abuse, violence, and otherwise TW scenes later in the book. Will warn in Author Notes***

After running away with her baby sister from her abusive father, Juliana runs into the last person she would expect to help her.He was rough, dangerous and extremely powerful. He tempted Juliana in ways no one has ever done before but with someone adamant on keeping them apart, will their love prevail?WARNING: Sexual content

Warning! Contains explicit sexual content and violence. For mature readers only! A beauty. That's what she is. The most beautiful woman in the world. I want her to myself. She belongs to me! And now it is time to collect her. Marissa Mariah Mason. Yep, that really is my name. Just your average college girl doing her best to get through college and love. Not that I have much of a love life. Everything was going great until my parents suddenly started acting strange and we moved away from the city in a try to “start over”. Then a rainy fall evening my whole life crashes. The night he comes to my home and takes me away.

Completed just editing- Despite my family being betrayed by people they thought they knew, despite being told I should be careful with my trust. I gave it to freely and trusted the wrong wolf. He says he has his reasons but won't share what they are. He may have thought he was weakening me or trapping me but I am only stronger and more free. I have only known one way of doing things until I met her. I was raised a very certain way, with very certain rules and character traits to keep my pack strong. I was raised to seek revenge on those that took everything from me. What happens when I begin to question everything I have known and see another way things can be done. What happens when I am to late to be who she needs me to be. ***Disclaimer: This book will have sexual content and possible triggers for some individuals.

Tyra is an orphaned pup, adopted by a good family after her father, a brutal Alpha was killed. She's obsessed with escaping her blood oath, made at just ten years old, requiring her to marry an Alpha's son. Tyra dyes her hair, gets tattoos and piercings, anything to change her body and show her arranged mate that she alone is in control of her body. She's waited patiently for her wolf to claim her, but she knows that when it happens, Alpha Zachary is coming for her, to make her his Luna. Tyra's entire world is turned upside down when she meets Zachary, only to feel the mate bond. She is livid to discover that she wants him, and can't control her body around him. What's worse is, he is actually a nice guy. Alpha Ridge is a 26 year old who has waited a very long time for his mate, and is just about to give up when he meets Tyra on the very night she gets her wolf. How are their fates intertwined? Did the Goddess make a mistake and give Tyra two mates? Find out on this whirlwind story that will keep you guessing! *This is a spin off of my Shadow Warrior series. This book follows Alpha Ridge and Tyra, and provides more background on the Blood Claw pack. It can be read as a stand alone book. This book contains strong sexual content and violence.*

"Your husband is so wild in bed!" On the eve of my childbirth, I received a provocative video from my husband's mistress, flaunting their affair.In the video, my supposedly loyal husband, Max Jennings, and his mistress were entangled in a hotel bed, exchanging dirty talk and engaging in various sexual positions.The shock of it all triggered premature labor, resulting in a stillbirth that left me utterly devastated.Max, consumed by guilt, fell to his knees before me, tears streaming down his face. Desperately, he begged for my forgiveness. Little did he know, I had already uncovered all his schemes - the secret transfer of his assets, the signing of substantial life insurance policies, and the true cause of our baby's tragic demise.I clung to him, sobbing uncontrollably, like a typical housewife shattered by her husband's betrayal.But in the depths of my heart, a grim thought emerged: "Max, since you won't agree to a divorce, it seems that becoming a widow is my only way out."During this tumultuous period in my life, I met Luke Walker.The people in our town describe Luke as an angel who has fallen to Earth—an honorable and composed beacon of light. Yet, somehow, he took an interest in me—a woman scorned and deemed hopeless after a failed second marriage.No one understands the truth. It was Luke who relentlessly pursued me, drawing me deeper into a complex relationship!

Oladele Anjola is an 100lvl student of Computer Science who just got admitted into Federal University of Technology, otherwise known as FUTA. She's extremely reserved and a big introvert. Although beautiful and intelligent, she has zero social skills. Adeleke Kolawole is your typical one of the most popular guys at FUTA. Cute, tall, handsome and brilliant and has more than half of the female population running after him. But Kola is the second definition of being snubbish and icy. He barely has friends and keeps to himself. Jola is totally smitten by Kola on their meeting and for the first time in Kola's life, he has a girl in his head. No matter how hard he tries to get her out of his head, she wouldn't budge, its not like he wanted her out of his head though. And so, an interesting love story starts. What will happen when Jola discovers that her very first friend in FUTA, Fisayo also has a huge crush on Kola. Will she give him up for friendship or give up her friendship for Kola. Its truly an hard decision, but sometimes before anyone else, we should come first.

"Make sure you wipe the counter," I remind him while wearing my panties. "With my tongue?" "Sure, if you wipe again with disinfectant after that." "Awww my little girl all grown up, using the word disinfectant and all. Bet you're getting deflowered any day now!" I smack his head while he laughs, thinking it's funny to keep on teasing me since last week. "I hope his willy isn't as big as mine," okay what now, "so he won't hurt your flower." I wanted to be mad at him, I do, but I laugh instead, stupid Toffer and his little boy talk. *** 30 year old Nina is confused with her hopeless love life. While her best friend pleasures women in the next room, she remains in her space keeping her virginity in-tact, wondering if she’s meant to be with her first love or she needs to move on to find her true soulmate. It takes my first love to end my dating strike. But will it take my first love to end my virginity?