Funny Sexual Jokes

"Make sure you wipe the counter," I remind him while wearing my panties. "With my tongue?" "Sure, if you wipe again with disinfectant after that." "Awww my little girl all grown up, using the word disinfectant and all. Bet you're getting deflowered any day now!" I smack his head while he laughs, thinking it's funny to keep on teasing me since last week. "I hope his willy isn't as big as mine," okay what now, "so he won't hurt your flower." I wanted to be mad at him, I do, but I laugh instead, stupid Toffer and his little boy talk. *** 30 year old Nina is confused with her hopeless love life. While her best friend pleasures women in the next room, she remains in her space keeping her virginity in-tact, wondering if she’s meant to be with her first love or she needs to move on to find her true soulmate. It takes my first love to end my dating strike. But will it take my first love to end my virginity?

At sixteen Sylvia Deveraux is abducted by the Alpha of the Black Crescent Moon and suffered severe sexual and physical abuse. She thought her life was over until the night of the Equinox Moon banquet when her soulmate found her. Will the mate bond be enough to eradicate years of abuse?

Aaron Morris had it all. Good looks, a beautiful girlfriend, good grades in college. He only had one problem. He was being stalked by a red-haired nightmare otherwise known as Bella Davis! She was the bane of his existence, a thorn on his side who won't leave him alone no matter what. Will he ever get rid of her or will she continue to annoy him with her unrequited love?*This is the spin-off of The Ugly One but can be read as a stand alone novel. However, I recommended you read that one first :)*

She was a receptionist in one of her friend's luxurious hotels when he walked there to destroy the complete hotel. She remembers him as she knows him well since high school but he doesn't remember her because she is no more the fatty girl which she was back in her high school time. To save her friend's hotel she stood before him and he abduct her from the place. He manipulates her to become his girlfriend. Few months after he forced her into contract marriage. Several exposures exposed in her life and love blooms between them.

Cassandra Johnson is Pixie. Pixie is Cassandra Johnson. She's the same girl who's leading two extremely different lives. Nobody would suspect the school's nerd as Pixie. 'Cause Pixie's a street fighter badass and the nerd does not have a single badass bone in her body. The chances of people discovering this peculiar secret is close to none but of course this is where fate inserts the certified new boy into the equation and makes an exception for him. Warning: heavy flow of profanities ahead. - and tears - or so I've heard.

It starts with a cringy encounter. Weird and silly, but that's what sealed their path. She believes a man like him wouldn't want a single mother. Perhaps he craves her experience in sexual activity. She felt herself to have been used and not worthy of much, but he sees her as the most beautiful existence that deserves to be loved. The love, the possessive nature of a mother for her child. His heart that couldn't stand injustice. Her revenge. His support. The quest to become the woman who wouldn't be treated as trash ever again. Their hot sex. Their aim to be one happy family after all their enemies falls… Jealousy… Join this adventure and have fun with this couple. Join my discord server: https://discord.gg/Q7tY3F8

Bonnie has spent her entire life being broken down and abused by the people closest to her including her very own twin sister. Alongside her best friend Lilly who also lives a life of hell, they plan to run away while attending the biggest ball of the year while it's being hosted by another pack, only things don't quite go to plan leaving both girls feeling lost and unsure bout their futures. Alpha Nicholas is 28, mateless, and has no plans to change that. It's his turn to host the annual Blue Moon Ball this year and the last thing he expects is to find his mate. What he expects even less is for his mate to be 10 years younger than him and how his body reacts to her. While he tries to refuse to acknowledge that he has met his mate his world is turned upside down after guards catch two she-wolves running through his lands. Once they are brought to him he finds himself once again facing his mate and discovers that she's hiding secrets that will make him want to kill more than one person. Can he overcome his feelings towards having a mate and one that is so much younger than him? Will his mate want him after already feeling the sting of his unofficial rejection? Can they both work on letting go of the past and moving forward together or will fate have different plans and keep them apart?

He was looking for prey She was being hunted He is the Vampire King She is an ordinary Werewolf They are MATES This is their story This is book 1 in the Royal Family series ** Warning this story may trigger some readers as it contains sexual and physical abuse, rape, some violence and mature scenes. Please read at your own discretion! Royal Family Series Book 2 - Daughter of the Vampire King Book 3 - The WereWitch and the Royal Alpha Prince Book 4 - The Royal Triplets

After spending a passionate night together, Alpha Ryker Cromwell rejected Xyrra as his mate in the name of protection and disappeared because of his Mad Wolf Disease and he didn’t want to hurt her. However, Xyrra disagreed on this. “Whether you’re a mad wolf or a cute puppy, I am the one to decide and I reject your rejection!” Contains sexual scenes, display of violence, and usage of profanity. Suitable for 18 years old and above. Book of The A.R. Were World Series.

Wanting a one-night fairytale, Joanna Yoder, attends the Hudson Masquerade Charity Ball. With her face hidden behind a mask, she played the role of a wealthy heiress named Clarice Cameron. When heartthrob playboy, Trevor Hudson, sweeps her off her feet, Joanna goes with the flow since she has had a crush on him for years. After being every New York heiresses' fantasy since he was a teenager, Trevor finally finds the one. What he doesn't know is that the woman he loves is a fraud - and his maid.