Funny Sexual Jokes

N/B Book contains dark and sexual scenes read at your discretion. ~ He burst into a peal of laughter at my agony and this time his eyes grew dark with rage as he gripped my head closer to his face. We were just an inch apart. My breathing turned labored and the sobs racked my throat. “I hate you Talitha. I hunted every town my spies saw you. I searched the deepest forest and farther into every pack of the world to fish you out. Finally, you’re here and this time I’ll make sure I’ll take everything that makes you special, gifted, and exalted and replace them with a broken, weak, and worthless slave, and not only that… I know you hate me, my name, and whose son I am. But that would change. I’ll fill you with me in every corner of your heart, soul, body, and blood. I’ll be so deep in your blood that when you bleed you bleed me.” *********** Witches are not accepted to be part of the kingdom of Arni where the evil Alpha king takes the women for his sexual gratification and kills and burns them alive at will. The evil king gets murdered and when the witches thought their persecution is over his son Alpha Hades- is out for the witches but first, he must conquer Tabitha's daughter. The daughter of the woman (Head Witch) who murdered his father and beheaded his poor mother and he must conquer her in spirit and on his bed by putting a collar on her neck as his slave and imprinting his essence on every inch of her perfect body. Can love grow from this unlikely pair of wolves and Witches or will their hate and revenge consume them in their quest.

Reggie is a concubus doing her part in the fight against the false elites. While doing recon for the resistance, she was attacked by ex-trackers. With little memory, aside from her mission, the unique concubus is working for more than just the safety of her people. She is working to find out who she is and where she belongs. Once she returns to the resistance, she finds out her true purpose, to complete a powerful spell that will help in the coming battle with the false elites... and die. In this final installment of the Vasilia Series, all questions will be answered and all vengeance will be brought about. Before reading this, make sure to catch up to the story so far with The Demon Queen's Desire and The Demon Queen's Duty.

WARNING: The female lead is not a weak, spineless doormat. She’s bold, funny, slightly fearless and witty as hell. Her husband is an absolute fool and her ex-fiancé is a full fledged red flag who is completely obsessed with her. Thanks for reading!! *** At the age of 18, Amani’s fiancé looked her in the eyes and called her “the trash.” On top of that, he proceeded to call off their engagement because he found a more beautiful and glamorous woman. Heartbroken and shattered, she gets married to Henry Wilson a few years later and he turns out to be an abuser and a cheat. Their son is diagnosed with stage four cancer and while he breathes his last on his deathbed, Henry is busy frolicking around town with his new secretary. Angry beyond measure, she files for divorce. Amani’s plan after divorce is to remain totally man-free for the rest of her life, but that plan turns to dust when the man who shattered her heart at 18 storms back into her life like a violent earthquake. Bhyron Macaulay is his name – New York’s most enigmatic billionaire bachelor, gorgeous as a demon and every woman’s dream man. One thing about him? He hates debtors. And Amani’s late parents owe him the sum of twenty million dollars. Bhyron has only one plan — to make sure Amani becomes his wife whether by consent or by force, and he plans to use that debt as leverage. When dark, haunting secrets about their pasts start to fly and Amani begins to feel a burning attraction for a man she once swore she hates, who will fall first? The heartless billionaire or the woman he once abandoned…?

Elsie Miller, just an ordinary girl that lived in ordinary life. Her life turned chaos when she accidentally bumped into a little girl that attached to her immediately after the incident.Dexter Anderson, the mafia king that lost his family and it turned him to a cold hearted, ruthless and heartless mafia-broken mafia. The only family left was his niece, Andrea Smith. He devoted all his love to his niece and willing to do anything to create a smile on her face and she was the cause he trampled into Elsie's world."You can't reject me. Once I decided what I want, no one can say no to me and you are included. I will make sure you come to me and say yes to my face. Mark my words.”"Haha. Very funny mister whatever you are. Let's see how you are going to make me say yes!”"Well, challenge accepted.” He cut off the line afterwards without giving me chance to argue back. Arrogant and rude. Now, it convinced me more that this was the right decision ever for rejected his offer.

Dragged to a party by her best friend Meme, Lala has a chance run-in with the local biker king Spin, who ends up saving her life when she almost drowns, only to take over and destroy it! When she meets Jonny upon his departure from the Navy, Spin is forced into redemption! Will Lala choose the good guy or the bad boy?!

Christopher Grayston só queria se casar para impedir que seu avô o pedisse em casamento novamente. Como resultado, ele se casou com uma garota que conheceu fora dos assuntos civis. Ele queria se casar com alguém com quem nunca consumaria o casamento. Então ele se contentou com uma jovem que acabara de conhecer do lado de fora do Departamento de Assuntos Civis, sabendo muito bem que não iria tocá-la porque ela era apenas uma garota. Camila Mendoza se encaixava no perfil desde jovem, embora fosse uma sedutora sem nem tentar. Os dois assinaram as certidões de casamento e seguiram caminhos separados. No entanto, 3 meses depois, o destino os uniu. Camila salvou uma criança e depois soube que o menino que ela salvou era filho de seu marido. Camila nunca se importou sobre como seu marido prostituto conduzia sua vida até que ela conheceu seu filho. Tudo estava bem até que sua ex-esposa voltou tropeçando em sua vida. Um homem que está sempre nas manchetes sobre sua vida sexual e uma esposa em uma missão. Quem triunfaria?

After graduating from NYU, Victory Sinclair had her life all planned out. Well, at least the career part, that is. She has been accepted into one of New York’s leading advertising and media agency and will be joining the agency as a personal assistant to the CEO. Little did she know, a strange twist of fate is about to change the course of her future. An unfortunate accident with Arthur Knight resulted in serious consequences that would alter both their futures. What will Victory do? Would she succumb to pressure or would she follow what her heart tells her to?

***Warning this book does contain sexual assault, suicide attempt/ideation, physical violence, and adult language. Please read at your own discretion.***** Davina lives an ordinary human life with her parents, having no clue werewolves, vampires, elves and witches and warlocks truly exist. Everything changes when her family is attacked, leaving her orphaned and in the care of the man she believes is her uncle. But little does Davina know this isn’t the first time Davina has been left orphaned and the ones that raised her are not her parents. She has no idea just how important she is and how the magical world relies on her for their survival. Will the local Alpha of the Palmetto Pack be able to accept that Davina is his mate, despite her being the very reason his father is dead? Their meeting will spark a series of events that will unfold the mystery of Davina’s past and what she truly is.

Warning: 18+, Sexual content, abuse, rape, violence!!! "Hunter let me go," I whimpered as he leaned in and took a whiff of my scent from my neck. My mind and heart, none of it were willing to accept the closeness but my body was yearning to submit. My nipples brushed against his solid naked chest and a zap of electricity attacked my core resulting in the moisture gathering in my sensitive folds. He moved his hand and cupped my bottom, earning a gasp from me. "This body of yours. IT'S. MINE." He growled. "And I'll do anything to make sure that you get this in your head even if it means to get you on my bed and make you submit over and over again." And then he tore my panty with one pull. *** When on Aria's Eighteen birthday her bully, Alpha Hunter Rodriguez, turned out to be her mate, she could not be more devastated. But destiny wanted something else and once the mysterious rouge attacks began, putting everyone's lives in danger. For the pack--Aria and Hunter had to work together to overcome the storm. Where there was Hunter's realization of his mistakes, there was Aria's fight to resist the mate bond and her feelings. But in this ever-growing fire and electric pull between them, there was someone who wanted to tear them apart and Aria became the main attraction of the one regulating the attacks. But they did not know that the unknown enemy they had to fight was sheltering under their own pack in disguise and after the pack, it was Aria who was at the main risk. The real enemy only had one rule--Whether he'd claim or...he'd kill. Can Hunter Rodriguez save his mate or it's going to be too late?

Kaiya is an orphan found on the doorstep of the packhouse of The Red Shadow Pack, she was brought in as an Omega and made to clean up after the often cold and almost always arrogant Twin Alpha Heirs, Ace and Dylan. I have decided to break this story into parts…there are four connecting stories with an overarching story that threads them together.  We start with Chasing Their Unloved Luna Part 1: Finding The True Alpha Next is Chasing Their Unloved Luna Part 2: Guarding The Faithful Beta. After that will be Chasing Their Unloved Luna Part 3: Seducing The Noble Priestess This book will conclude with Chasing Their Unloved Luna Part 4: Hunting The Storm Bringer We have seen lots of twists and turns and tons of unexpected happenings, and there are lots of loose ends at the close of Part One so please stick with us as we continue our Journey. In Part 2, the focus shifts. We will see Kaiya and the boys in the background and may even get a surprise POV when something big happens involving them, but  now we will see Amina’s and her sisters stories and how they meet their mates. Not all chapters I post have a trigger warning, but many contain violence, sexual violence and other devious acts. If it is particularly triggering I try to include a warning. Your mental health is important, so if you read the warning and can't handle what happens, skip to the following chapter, or only read the start of the next chapter then skip to the next Thank you and please comment and reach out if you have comments/questions.