Funny Shit

Elena; No one who dared to mess with him lived to tell the tale. Angelo Fabian. Lord of the Underworld and the most dangerous Mafia Lord in the country. But somehow my father did. What's worse when I was offered to him as his plaything, his sexual toy, an experiment to fulfill all his sexual urges. I never knew my life could turn out to be more than the shit show it already was Angelo: In my world, traitors and snitches are a deadly sin. Unforgivable except through death. Until I met her, she was a perfect collateral for my stolen money and I plan to keep her, especially because she was proof that I can still perform and get aroused as a man.

The fascinating,chaotic story of a food obsessed girl who discovers startling new abilities within herself and is transported to the mystical land of Opa where she must save the land,control her hormones and try to not fall in love with her best friend.

When Myra is abducted as ransom for her mother's debt, she has to device a plan to escape the infamous Miguel Carvarlho even if it means aiding the enemy. But she soon learns that every betrayal comes with a cost. When the line between passion and rage blur she is torn between two choices. Family or Love...

"I love you very much dad, but we've talked about this. I'm not getting married now... or later even, so stop trying to convince me, it won't work." *************** Meet Amelia Phidelia Naa Shika Washington, a twenty-six year old black American woman who has assured herself and everyone else around her that she would never be tied down to any man in marriage. But despite her staunch belief in her assertion, her mother, Kelly Shirley Washington... a loving, religious mum, and drama queen extraordinaire seems to have other plans. Watch the drama unfold, as Mia battles her mother in a never-ending clash of wills, while dealing with an uncontrollable crush on her boss, and a huge pain in her ass... Antonio Valdez. This is war. But who will emerge victorious? Why don't you read and find out?

Readers said. 'Very funny, I needed cold showers! I dropped my tablet in the bath! Totally original. Outrageous. The goddesses thread is totally original.' Goddesses - is this what 50 Shades should have been about? Connie Grimshaw, is now a successful businesswoman in an international consultancy. She reached these dizzy heights by believing her mother - work hard and reject emotional needs. On a business trip, the dam bursts and her libido refuses to be silenced. Her PA (Dee) helps her reconcile her lascivious feelings by using a series of parables from ancient goddesses. This works until the goddesses land her in hilarious, embarrassing and sometimes, dangerous situations as she develops the vamp in herself. But there are forces at work, which try to mismanage her feelings. Can she defeat the bad boys? Firstly, she has to deal with Greg, the evil misogynist.

"In a garden full of flowers, the beast chose her. Among the roses she was, and although her petals were tainted with blood, to him, she was the prettiest of them all" Fate and it's funny ways. It's so fascinating when things could be so twisted, yet perfect at the same time. There has to be darkness for the light to shine and before every beautiful rainbow, there's an ugly storm. Isn’t this what our parents tell us in order to keep us calm? Rosalya was in an urgent need of this saying. She is found in a very hard and tricky situation when her world is suddenly flipped upside down. Her life going from quiet to loud, from sad and boring to interesting and wild. An Alpha King is the least she imagined would appear in her life, but that’s what life gave her. The change wasn’t exactly received happily... but it was definitely something that she would not regret in the future. She’s just a small delicate flower... one that manages things that she never knew were in her reach. Happiness and sadness, love and despair. Before every happy ending, there’s a roller coaster of a journey. Let’s see what this one holds for us to read.

It's Kleo's 17th birth and her closest friends have all decided to treat her for the day. While at a lounge, her mom(a nurse) surprises her with a single phone call telling her to come home early which was a shock due to how busy the nurse schedule is but when mother calls you just have to listen. Never been behind the wheel before and getting praised for her driving skills it was unanimously decided as a joke that kleo should drive which as it turns out was a bad idea to begin with. A truck hits her car and puts her into a coma and is rushed to the hospital. On the other hand there's Avan and Avan's mom has cancer. She has a year to live but as fate would have it her room is just right beside Kleo's room. Avan always used to see kleo's room full of visitors but never the girl they were there to see, however, he notices that it's empty today, the day the doctors announce his mother's remaining life span... Dejected, sad and angry he storms out of the room and happens to be around when Kleo's room was left opened, sneaking a peak to notice the beautiful girl that is unconscious.

It had been five years since my mate Ethan Blackwood secretly marked me. Then his brother, the Alpha of the Shadow Moon Pack, died in the territorial war. To become the next Alpha of Shadow Moon, Ethan inherited everything his deceased brother left behind. Including his widowed sister-in-law, Victoria. After every time Ethan shared Victoria's bed, he would hold me close and whisper reassurances: "Autumn, just wait a little longer. Once Victoria gets pregnant, we'll have our Mating Ceremony!" This was the pack's only requirement for him to inherit the Alpha position. In the six months since returning to Shadow Moon territory, Ethan had gone to Victoria's chambers countless times. From once a month in the beginning, to now almost every other day. Finally, after countless nights of sitting alone until dawn, news came that Victoria was pregnant. But along with this announcement came another—Ethan and Victoria would be holding their Mating Ceremony. "Mommy, is someone having a Mating Ceremony here?" my daughter asked. I looked around at the stark contrast to our sparse living quarters. The main hall was filled with flowers and balloons. People bustled about outside, everyone joyfully preparing for their Mating Ceremony. I pulled my innocent daughter into my arms: "Yes, sweetheart. Your father is having a Mating Ceremony with someone he loves, which means it's time for us to leave." Ethan didn't know that we wolves of the Silver Crescent Pack never cared about so-called Mating Ceremonies. In Silver Crescent, female wolves were revered. My mother was the current Alpha, and I only needed to bear an heir to the pack to inherit her position. I dialed a number I hadn't called in five years: "Mother, I already have an heir now. I'm ready to come home and claim your Alpha position."

"Shit!" I hissed as Jide eased into me and teased my core. My fingers made a burning path up his toned back, as I gripped him hard, urging him to go faster. And as we made sweet love into the night, I could not help but wonder how I had fallen. Fallen so deeply in love with him. **** Raised singlehandedly by her ruthless grandmother, after her father died and her mother eloped with a lover, Ivory Stone grew to be a strong and independent CEO who took over her family's legacy and company. She's had everyone and everything answer to her; and would definitely not take 'no' for an answer. And in came Jide. The farmer with the heart of gold who had little to nothing to his name. He was charming, pure, and he defied her in every possible way, testing her limit and questioning everything's she'd been taught. The minute she locked eyes with Jide, she least expected he was what she needed to turn her world upside down. She fell and she fell deeply.

Bitten by a mysterious sin-eater was an accident. Zachary Oliver wanted to spend the next four weeks of his life in the picturesque Bulgaria where he wanted to recharge and invigorate. His corporate life sucks. A mischievous and vengeful Goddess makes it her life’s purpose to wreck havoc in humans. Persephone will stop at nothing to get the revenge she had always wanted. Helena Battenberg, a noble sin-eater finds herself, slowly falling in love with the accidental Vampire. In the midst of chaos and the need to survive, the accidental vampire will find his place in the sin-eater world and finds his way to eternal romance.