Funny Vasectomy Meme Novels & Stories

*Abandoning ship isn’t my style. It wasn’t hers either, but our circumstances ripped us apart. Now it’s not just a literal ocean standing between us. Francine Chirilova has no direction. After coming out of the closet leaves her without a family at age 18, the quick witted 25 year old has been forced to survive on her connections and kind personality. Throw in a rapidly decreasing appetite and a tendency to gravitate toward abusive women for a epic shit show. While recovering from her latest 4 year long mistake, she makes a strong, yet unlikely connection with her virtual best friend. Que in recovering alcoholic Vasilisa Krovopuskova, aged 26 from Siberia, Russia. After surviving a grueling upbringing on her own, trust is a difficult concept to grasp. Already having experienced heartbreak once before, she wasn’t looking for anything serious when Francine crash landed into her life via an online sanctuary for lesbians. With an ocean separating the two, neither Francine nor Vasilisa know which direction to swim in. Will they stay on their side of the world, or drown trying to get to the other? *Disclaimer* - Strong mature content. 18+, please Book one. To follow is book two: “Our Blank Canvas.”

Year Malkame returns to her hometown after ten years of exile. She came back following pieces of a puzzle she really needed to find in order to meet her Secret santa, the man or woman who had been gifting her lonely childhood Christmases with joy and music. Being sent away from her home at the age of fourteen, she had lost the trail of the person she was looking for. But now, she wants to finally find him. But in her journey, she finds her childhood best friend Justin. A misfortune leaves her under the same roof with this man. What happens when long-time friends come together after ten years? What happens when she realizes who her secret santa is? And what the hell happens when a billionaire decides he suddenly wants her to not only work for him but also be his woman?

While I'm waiting for my vasectomy to start, I see a popular question trending on a forum. "What's the best revenge for a man?" An anonymous answer is upvoted all the way to the top of the comment section. "By stealing everything he's proud of while playing the role of his best friend, of course! To be honest with you, this is how I treat my childhood friend, too. "Before he realizes it, his parents already view me as their biological son. The company has bestowed upon me a position that's superior to his. His wife even gave her virginity to me at the new home he had personally decorated and refurnished. His children are actually mine, and they are super clingy to me! "Because of something I said, his wife made him get a permanent vasectomy. He actually agreed to it. At this rate, that bastard will never be able to have his own children!" Some people are shocked, while others don't hesitate to berate the anonymous poster. But the majority of the commenters are more confused than anything. "What sort of deep-rooted grudge do you have against your childhood friend, though? Why is your revenge going this far?" That poster is surprisingly honest. "Actually, it's nothing much. This friend of mine is superior to me in any way since we were kids. But he's also a smug and arrogant one who doesn't really seem to care about anything at all. "I don't like that attitude of his, so I've come up with this scheme and stolen everything from him. Take now, for example. He's waiting for his vasectomy procedure at the hospital, while I'm hugging his wife right now. In fact, I plan on depleting this entire box of contraceptives!" The latest photo the online poster has uploaded shows a box containing 13 condoms. As for the background, it happens to be my home.

Not everyone is lucky with a great love story, especially for Riley. Love did nothing but only scar her heart. It began when her family tore apart; she was just two, so all she could remember was her father leaving.  The first man she ever loved abandoned her, and she never saw him again.  Then a few years later, her mother abandoned her, leaving her older sister in charge. It didn’t stop there, though. Riley got hurt once again when her fiance cheated on her. She decided that love wasn’t meant for her and she should stay single forever, focusing on her life and career. One day she was surfing the internet and found a very great deal. It was a one-week vacation on an island, with a suite over-viewing the ocean, and the price was affordable. It was a sketchy offer, but who cares, she just wanted a week off. So, she took her chance with no hesitation, not realizing the surprise waiting for her on the island. Everything went just fine for her till she found out that she had to share the suite with a stranger, a very hot stranger. Not only will they share a room, but he will also make a deal with her. He made a bargain with her. He would mend her broken heart, showing her what real love is supposed to be in that one week. She agreed, knowing he will lose anyway. The funny part, her clueless self doesn’t even know that stranger was Zack Harrison, the CEO of Harrison’s real estate brokering, one of the top bachelors.

Dragged to a party by her best friend Meme, Lala has a chance run-in with the local biker king Spin, who ends up saving her life when she almost drowns, only to take over and destroy it! When she meets Jonny upon his departure from the Navy, Spin is forced into redemption! Will Lala choose the good guy or the bad boy?!

The story starts with Lavender, who lost her father in an accident and half of her memory. Losing her father left a huge gap in her heart, but at a point, she moved on for the sake of her ill mother.She worked in her father's cafe to cover her mother's medical bills and give her little sister a good life.At the beginning of the senior year, she meets Alex River, the popular guy from her school. Little did she know that he was from her past.A lot of things happened which led her to have her memory back again. She figures out that the last two years of her life were based on lies. Now, she will work with her friends to know the hidden truth that was kept from her. A crazy adventure waited for them around the corner, and risking their lives was the only way to know the truth.

Death and war, two things that always chased Haley around. The last war tore up her family, forcing her to kill her sister to save the world. Knowing the rogues' plans too well, they won't stop until they find the imperial phoenix pack, a rare pack of shapeshifters who vanished long ago. Haley's sister was just like them, and she guessed her niece was the same. So, to avoid history from repeating itself, Haley gave away her niece to a human couple where she will have a normal life. Ten years went by, filled with peace, or that's what Haley thought. Behind her back, the rogues were plotting the upcoming war after they knew about the young shapeshifter. Haley watched the man who helped her during those ten years die because of her mistakes. The rogues killed him as they did with her parents. And when she needed help, only five alphas stood by her side. With an upcoming war and the destiny of the goddess pack in her hands, Haley had to wait for the alpha's son to take his title, not knowing he was her destined mate.

My heart raced wildly as he leaned in, his warm breath brushing my ear. "The next time I see you kiss anyone else..." he whispered, his voice dark and lethal, " I'll make sure these pretty lips of yours are stitched shut." He wasn't supposed to care. I wasn't supposed to matter. But one kiss was all it took to turn control into obsession. I'm bound to him by a dangerous deal, living on the edge of fear and desire, never quite sure where the line is, or if it ever existed at all. Mr. Hanson is cold, powerful, and terrifyingly possessive. He thrives on control, and he hates how I slip through his fingers no matter how tightly he grips me. Every touch feels like a warning. Every breath between us feels like a threat. As fear, power, and longing blur into something I no longer recognize, I'm forced to decide how far I'm willing to go to survive a man who doesn't just want my obedience. He wants my silence. My loyalty. My heart. Because with him, love isn't gentle. It's a weapon.

A young guy keeps getting into trouble in very funny and unfortunate ways. He wrecked havocs on people too, mistakenly. He hallucinated and had great fantasies about people to brighten up his hearers. Afterwards, he came back to his mundane reality.

Kiara Tennyson. It has always been her dream to go to the US. After her parent's death, an opportunity presents itself when she gets a chance to go there as an exchange student. She is funny, crazy, very loving, and has read too many books to know that she will find new friends, get into a fight on the first day of school with the queen bee and later teach her a lesson, and maybe find love. Reed Scott. Your typical cliche bad boy. His first love broke his heart causing him to change from loving to becoming cold. What do you think will happen when a bubbly and crazy person comes barging into his life and tries to change his cold demeanour? Why don't you read and find out? Join Kiara and be mistaken for a dog sitter, get into fights, prank the queen bee, fall on your butt in front of your new best friend, prank the whole school, take the bad boy shopping and most importantly find love abroad.